Unbroken Nightmares Cease in Reality
by Sg1Trooper
Summary: SG1 is ambushed on a planet and are brought back to the one place Jack will never forget. Will the escape or has SG1's luck finally run out.
1. Chapter 1

This is a repost the first draft was not completed and was all parts in one so I have broken them up to smaller chapters so it will be easier to read.

Froggy sorry for posting it before it was done but its almost completed so its safe to post now.

Some later Chapters will contain some rather bad subject matter so you will be warned now and then.

Enjoy.

* * *

Part 1

Time should have stood still, but it didn't.

We were supposed to come to this godforsaken planet, start negotiations, take our samples and leave.

But no. That was too easy for SG1. We had, of course, walked into an ambush.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped down and looked at the frightened faces of the elders.

No happy children or women were here to greet us like last time and when Daniel tried to ask about them he was stonewalled.

I stepped back and whispered to Teal'c that something was off.

"Indeed".

Carter had picked up on my uneasiness and came next to me. I motioned to her to keep her eyes and ears open. She took the safety off her weapon and started to scan the area.

Daniel was oblivious to what was going on, asking when he could be taken to the caves to take more pictures and when he would be shown the tablets of life.

Carter stopped and looked past the trees. I came up to her and asked what was wrong.

"I could have sworn I saw something, sir, but I'm on edge and maybe that's the reason."

Carter's instincts were as good as mine and I halted our party to investigate.

The elders asked why we stopped, as the village was only a short distance away. They started to look around oddly, and I knew then that this was a set up.

Before I had a chance to pull us back, Carter pointed behind me and yelled to get down.

She started to fire her weapon. I saw one of the elders go down and Daniel scrambling to get to cover.

She cried out my name.

She was the first of us to be hit.

Teal'c was firing and Daniel went to get her to safety.

The other elders went for cover, but the firing never stopped. We were outnumbered and surrounded.

"Jack! She's badly hurt. I can't stop the bleeding."

I needed to do something. I needed to get my team out of there now. We had been set up and it looked like we would not survive this battle.

They were getting closer and I heard the First Prime yell out, "You are surrounded. If you do not want the village women and children to die, you will lay down your weapons immediately."

They stopped and waited. I went over to Daniel and Sam. I tried not to wince at the sight. She had been clipped in the shoulder by a staff blast. Her blood was all over both Daniel and herself. She was unconscious. Before I could ask, Daniel said she was alive.

Teal'c came to us.

Carter needed help and I would not risk the lives of innocents.

I stood up and raised my weapon over my head. Teal'c was already in that position and Daniel rose to his feet, joining us.


	2. Chapter 2

part 2

The first prime came forward and the rest of the Jaffa surrounded us. I wanted to scream when I saw what snakehead they served.

I should have known my luck was batting a hundred today. This was wrong; we were set up by the same people we were here to protect. I looked around to see that a handful of the elders had survived.

They could not look us in the eye, they knew they had betrayed us, but I suppose they had to survive. The Jaffa held their women and children and had ordered them to trade us for them. From their point of view, it seemed like an easy decision.

I looked down at Carter. She was still unconscious. It was better she stayed that way, she would be awoken for the party that Ba'al would have.

He couldn't wait to get a hold of us.

"We will take you to our god were you shall kneel…"

"Yeah, yeah, kneel and all that crap. We've got an injured member of our team that needs help. Can we tend to her before we go meet your god?"

The first prime moved forward and looked down at Carter.

He kicked her and I lunged at him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? She's unconscious! She can't harm you."

"She killed my men, she will suffer for it."

He pointed at two Jaffa that were standing close by and motioned for them to pick her up.

He then gave instructions to tie us up and to take us back to the gate.

Daniel came close to me and I could see him staring at the Jaffa that had picked up Carter. She was thrown over one of their shoulders as they started to walk towards the gate.

"Jack, she's going to bleed to death if that wound isn't treated."

I felt helpless but I knew I had to get her to the gate.

Maybe we could pull something off.

"Tell me something I don't know Daniel."

He paused, getting a grip on his anger.

"I'm sorry, Danny, I shouldn't have snapped at you, try and talk to the elders see if they are willing to help."

"You still want their help? They conspired with them to capture us."

"They didn't have a choice, the lives of the people of their village or us. I call it an easy decision."

Daniel looked at Haras, one of the elders, and he nodded. He had heard what I said.

"There was no other choice. Please understand they killed many of our young men. The ones that wanted to warn you of this trap. They still hold my wife and my Karina. Yes Dr. Jackson, Karina your "lil shadow" as you named her. They took them to their ship and promised us they would return them as soon as you are captured. We will contact your Hammond and tell them what has transpired. Please, we are peaceful people and were no match for the demons. I will try and help as much as I can. The others are too afraid."

I nodded and Daniel apologized.

"I lose my head sometimes, Haras; I would have done the same thing if my family was threatened. Please, any help will be appreciated."

"Silence or the woman dies now."

We turned and then were restrained and separated. Two Jaffa in front of us and two behind us. I was being taken back to my nightmare.

Only this time I would not be able to wake and mumble that it was just a dream.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

We had been taken to the gate and the guard carrying Carter threw her down to dial the gate. I knelt down to see if she was still with us.

'Carter?'

She opened her eyes at the sound of my voice. She tries to get up but winces. She turns away so I wont see she's in pain and I try to reassure her that it's okay.

"Where are we sir?"

This troubles me. She doesn't know where she is. She then starts to rub her head and I see the reason for her confusion.

She's staring at the blood on her hand. She tries to hide it but I've seen it.

"Carter you've got to stay awake, do you hear me? That's not a good sign. I need you to be alert and ready. Do you understand major?"

She's sagging to one side but she mumbles, 'yes sir."

I'm yanked up off the ground and thrown to the side.

"I said no talking. She will pay for your insolences."

He smacks her across the face and she falls. Daniel yells out no and Teal'c starts to curse at them.

They laugh and I want to kill them for hurting her.

She doesn't move and I want to pick her up and take her away from this madness. She won't last the night if they continue to pick on her and losing Carter was not an option.

When the time was right I would get her home.

The gate opened and I am ordered to stand. Daniel is yanked up and lets out a yelp when I hear a bone pop. I look at him and he is trying not to cry out. He knows this is what they want, but will not give in. Sam is picked up and thrown over the shoulder of the same Jaffa that had brought her to the gate. She is bleeding and I will her to live. She can't leave us, not now.

She can't leave me or I wouldn't have anything left to live for.

We walk through the gate and arrive at Ba'al's new fortress. My stomach starts to turn and I can feel the sweat starting to trickle down my back.

I catch Teal'c's eye. He sees me and knows that this is affecting me more then I let on. He tries to reassure me that all will be well. I acknowledge his silent words and turn my attention back to Carter.

She has been unceremoniously dropped in a heap in front of us.

She is in bad shape. The staff blast is bleeding again, and the blood coming from her concussion is evident.

"Jack, we've got to do something. She's not going to live through another beating."

I look at Daniel and see the torment on his face. If he only knew that it would get worse now that we were in the fortress. He has very little recollection of when he was ascended. He had been my lifeline in the days I had been stuck in this hell hole. They all had been there with me in my mind willing me not to give up, but in the end I almost did.

I still have the same nightmare of me at the end of my rope and Carter cradling my head and willing me to live for her. To take the symbiotic to live for tomorrow.

I would not have done it if she had not asked. But seeing her in pain, knowing we would not have the future we had both wanted but couldn't have, hurt me. I didn't want her to think I was selfish, that I was tired of fighting, that I would give it all up if she would only ask. So I agreed and had wished later that I hadn't. I could say it now that I hated her for making me do that, but I couldn't hate her forever. She would have done the same thing if I were to ask.

The jaffa instructed the elders to move Carter to the wall.

The wall.

The place I was attached to and was now the main attraction in my nightmares. My time in Iraq was nothing compared to my time on that wall. I could imagine my blood was still on that thing, mocking me, saying it couldn't wait to get its hands on me.

My hands start to shake, but I know what I have to do.

"No, I think bocce ball wants me first."

The doors open and I don't have to turn to know who has just walked in.

"Colonel O'Neill, welcome back. I hope we can make you and your friend as comfortable as you were last time."

I close my eyes and start to count. Hoping I reach ten before my mind decides to scream out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

I make it to ten and still the urge to scream is...no, it is still there. I haven't turned around. Do I think that if I don't see him he'll cease to exist?

I open my eyes and see Daniel and Teal'c. They understand my reluctance to turn around. They had been there when my nightmares had overtaken me and I was left screaming out for help and drenched in sweat.

I never told them what had been done to me. Saying I didn't want to replay the past. That I had survived and that was all that mattered.

I heard a moan and knew Carter had awoken.

"Since you don't seem to enjoy my company Colonel O'Neill I think I'll ask Major Carter's opinion of her new home.

I took a deep breath and knew what I had to do.

I had to divert his attention to me. I was to be the one to go through all of this not them. Carter would not survive the wall. She was only just making it now and to go through that...no! I wouldn't allow it.

I spun around and started my plan of attack.

"Ba'al buddy long time no see. Sorry about the last place but you know Yu doesn't like to be kept in the dark about his pals or whatever having secret bases or fortresses hidden from him. So like what you've done to the place. I see you did bring some of the old furnishings, but the gold is so last year, why not some silver or platinum? I hear it's the new black this year."

He laughed and walked towards me. Good. Away from Carter. Okay snakehead divert all your attention to me and me only.

"I see you have not loss your insolent behavior. This is good; it would be an example to the rest of your team about how not to act. You do remember the last time? You had been blended with that To'kra. Remember the interrogations, how you pleaded with me to stop, that you had no knowledge about why you were here? You lied. You had returned for my lotar Shayla. That is why you will never defeat us. You could not resist coming back to save an insignificant slave like her."

I held my tongue. He was upset about Shayla. I had forgotten about her. Oh, this wasn't good.

He picked up a knife and came towards me. I was familiar with this one. This one was the one he would use when he was through with me. This one had a jagged side and a smooth side on the blade. My heart started to ache. In my mind there I could feel it plunging into me. I tried to stop the shaking in my hands. I was tied and he came behind me and undid my binds.

The circulation came back to my hands. This was a good sign I thought but I was held by two of the guards and started to be dragged to the wall of horror.

I struggled with them I had reacted automatically, my first mistake.

"Leave him and take the woman," Ba'al bellowed.

I was dropped to the floor and they went after Carter.

I scrambled to my feet and went after them. I knocked one down and the other had yanked Carter from her bad arm and she let out a scream that made me stop. I had never heard her yell out and it startled me. That was my second mistake.

Daniel and Teal'c yelled I turned to receive a face full of a staff weapon. I saw stars and was sprawled next to Carter.

I opened my eyes to see her biting her lip and tears falling down her face.

I whispered, "Hang in there Carter, and don't give up."

She nodded but didn't open her eyes. She was lifted from the floor and was taken to the wall.

"Hey I thought I was first. What changed your mind bowling Ball? Remember I was the one that escaped you inescapable fortress. I was the one that stole your girl hell I was the one that spread the rumor around the galaxy that you were a nice guy."

I was babbling I needed to get the attention focused back to me. She would not survive the first line of questioning and I didn't think he had a sarcophagus since he hadn't flaunted that in my face.

He went to the pedestal and started to maneuver it Carter was attached to the wall. I had failed.

"Colonel you are correct to all that you said you did escape but you will not escape this time".

He had picked up a vial of acid. My stomach turned and the scream inside of my head was deafening. Carter was looking at me and back to Ba'al as the first single drop left the bottle and landed above her right breast.

"Oh god," she moaned as it ate through her vest and straight to her skin. She turned away and was biting her lip so hard that it started to bleed.

I couldn't show that this was affecting me. She would be used to get me to break I put on my best face and started to slow down my breathing.

I looked at Teal'c and he nodded Daniel was about to protest and

Teal'c nudge him he turned to him and then to me. He stopped and understood.

Ba'al picked up a knife and started to play with it.

"You were my main objective in the ambush. Capturing the rest of your team is a bonus. So Colonel would you care to tell me the code to your iris? The location of your Alpha Site? The planet the free Jaffa are training and occupying?"

He held the knife aiming for Carter's chest. I couldn't look at her I would lose it and he would win.

"Bite me," Carter yelled out.

I turned and smiled at her she was being brave but I wanted to tell her it was no use. He would find it amusing and tell you so before plunging that knife so deep you think it would split you in half.

"It seems your team takes after you. Pity."

He got off the pedestal and walked over to Carter.

He had taken a cloth from his cloak and wiped the blood from her mouth and her temple.

"You would follow him to hell and back wouldn't you major? It's a shame he would not do the same thing for you. Before this day is out I will have all the information I want and you will cease to exist."

She looked at him and he stopped. He caressed her cheek and she moved her face away.

"You so do look like the woman O'Neill took from me. Could this be the reason he came back? Thinking he was saving you? There is more to this then meets the eye and I will enjoy getting the tale from either you or him."

Sam spat at him and with cold fury spoke.

"Go to hell, I'm not telling you anything'.

Ba'al wiped the spit from his face and shook his head.

"Pity you will not be around to watch the demise of your friends."

With that he took the knife and slashed her throat with one swift move.

"No!"

I heard the voice yell it was one of deep pain and sorrow and only realized later it was mine.


	5. Chapter 5

Part5

I'm alone now.

I am in a cell, alone, with no one to encourage me to hold on.

The one who haunts my nightmares has claimed the good from my life. He has taken the one thing that I had cherished. That I had hoped would be there for me when this war was over.

I remember the surprised look she gave me as the blood started to pour from the wound.

I remember Daniel screaming out her name and cursing Ba'al in Gou'ald, calling him every name he could think of.

I remember him, unflinching in the face of Daniel's rage, but clearly enjoying the pain he had caused.

Daniel fell to his knees then. Crying out for his lost friend and for the guilt I knew he felt.

Teal'c stood stoic but I knew this had affected him deeply. He kept his eyes on Ba'al. Hatred building up in him, his muscles tensed waiting for the opportunity to avenge her death.

Me. I just stood there and screamed. He knew I would fold once he hurt her.

He was right. She did look like the woman I had previously helped escape from him.

I remember her telling me, or the snake that had resided for a time in my head all the torture he had put her through. That, I hadn't been able to stand. Knowing what she was going through had been enough for me to come back and save her.

He had loved her, but the feelings he felt for her were nothing compared to what I felt for Carter.

Carter.

I suppress a sob.

She was gone and I had just stood there, doing nothing.

She would no longer grace me with her smile and her techno babble.

She would no longer join me for cake, or be there to listen to my lame jokes, the ones that only she would laugh at.

Ba'al had enjoyed himself. He coldly said he would continue with us later.

I tried to get to her, but the wall opened up and she fell lifelessly through into the abyss behind her.

I stared at the wall of horrors. Daniel was trying to control his sobs. I closed my eyes, offered up a silent prayer for her and then turned to face what was next.

We were taken to our new homes and I walked next to Daniel.

His head was down and I could see this was tearing him up inside.

"Daniel, you've got to be strong. Carter wouldn't want you to give up. We will get out of here."

His head snapped up.

"She's dead and you still can't call her by her first name? It was Sam dammit. Sam! What she saw in you I'll never know. You treated her like crap, always taking and never giving and she would never, ever complain. Did you know she loved you? YOU! I couldn't believe it when she told me. After everything you did to her she still loved you. You selfish son of a bitch! You could have the decency to call her by her name, now that there are no rules or regulations, or was that just an excuse you hid behind, so you wouldn't have to show her you really didn't love her?"

He forgot that my hands were not tied and I launched myself at him. I knocked him to the floor, straddled him and started to blindly, furiously punch him, over and over again.

The guards cheered us on.

Teal'c was shouting at us to stop, that we were friends.

That this would not bring Carter back.

Who in the hell did Daniel think he was? I loved her more than anything in this world and he was telling me that all I did was take from her and…..

Wait. He said she loved me.

I stopped punching him.

"She loved me?" I whispered, brokenly.

Daniel's glasses were broken and he was bleeding from his nose.

I rolled away from him and stood up. He hadn't answered me. I asked him again.

"She loved me?"

"Yeah, Jack she loved you. But now she's gone and I don't care whether I live or die. She was the glue that kept our team together and with her gone…"

The guards yanked us up when they saw we were not going to fight anymore.

I was still reeling from the news. She had loved me and I'd never told her my feelings for her.

I'd never told her.

I'd never told her that I loved her too.

I was deposited in my cell and slid to the floor. I didn't care what Ba'al did any longer. He had taken more from me than I thought was possible.

He had taken my soul.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

I wallowed in my grief.

This pain was comparable to the grief I had felt when Charlie died.  
I was helpless then to do anything then and I was helpless now.

The two good things in my life had been snatched from my grasp. I had  
known that my luck could not last. That fate would intervene and say  
that Jack O'Neill could not be happy. That Jack O'Neill would always  
be alone, with no one to love or to love him back.

I cried, not caring anymore. Who was there left to impress with my  
big bad colonel image? I had lost everything and the kicker was that  
she had loved me. She had loved me and Daniel was right. I had hidden  
behind the rules, afraid that if I let her in; things would be ruined  
between us when she found out what a selfish son of a bitch I was.

Sara had thought she had understood me, but I only let her see  
glimpses of the real Jack.

Sam had seen me at my worst and still she was always there beside me  
no matter what, holding my hand and whispering to me that it would be  
alright when things were bad. I took comfort in knowing that whenever  
I was hurt, she would be there to greet me when I awoke.

Looking back at it now it wasn't because she was duty bound to be  
there, it was because she cared what happened to my sorry ass.

She had deserved so much better.

She had deserved to be loved by someone that didn't have so much  
baggage.

I closed my eyes to pray I would see her again once I left this  
hell. But I had one last thing to do before I went.

I would survive long enough to kill Ba'al.

I didn't care about what would happen afterwards. My soul mate was  
gone. He had taken the only good in my life.

He had taken her.

He was the cause of a hole in my heart that could never be mended.

I would extract my revenge for her. It was the least I could do,  
since I had been no damned help at all when it came to keeping her  
alive.

Her smile would haunt me till my very last breath. A last breath I  
now planned on waiting only a short time for. I was glad that  
killing Ba'al would be my last act in this sorry existence.

I deserved the pain that would be inflicted on me. I had to atone for  
all of my past deeds.

Daniel was right again. I had used the rules and regulations to hide  
behind, to justify what I had done in my past. I had hurt the ones  
that loved me by pushing them away or being the cause of their deaths.

Carter was wrong. I was the cursed one. Everything I loved or cared  
about left me or died.

One thing I didn't have to worry about was telling Jacob I had failed  
in my promise to keep his little girl safe.

He had pulled me aside after a mission and asked me to keep her  
safe. He'd said please, adding that just the act of giving my word  
was good enough for him. He had trusted me.

He had been wrong.

I told him I would die first before harm would come to her.

I had been wrong.

I had watched his little girl die in front of me and I had to suffer  
the loss now. I deserved no pity. I deserved the pain that flowed  
through my body.

I hear the sounds that signal I will be taken again. I don't care. I  
stand and wait, wanting to get this over with, since I can't bear to  
think any more.

My only objective is to kill that son of a bitch for all the pain he  
has inflicted on my team and on my love.

He would die quickly with the same knife that he had used so cruelly  
on her.

I wait and they come, opening the door to take me back to the chamber  
of horrors. I will be hung on the same wall she had died on but  
before that I will fight one more time.

And this time it was a fight I was determined to win.

I had an angel, my angel, by my side wanting the same thing as me.

The revenge for a life taken and this revenge would be mine.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

I was taken back to the chamber and saw that Teal'c and Daniel were there.

I saw the damaged I had caused Daniel and felt shame.

His eye was almost shut his nose had dried blood on it. His lip was split and he had a bruise covering most of her right cheek.

He did not turn to me when I came in but Teal'c did.

I nodded to him and he did the same. We held each others eyes we knew what needed to be done.

We waited and the doors open the remaining elders were thrown in.

Haras was there as was Magus. Daniel looked up and was about to ask where were the rest and Haras shook his head

Ba'al had gone back on his word.

I could see it in Haras's face the betrayal he had committed had been for nothing.

Daniel blurted out, "Karina?"

Haras eyes filled with tears. Daniel shook his head no and looked at me and turned away. He was lost to us all this death in one day was too much for him.

He had never learned how to shut off his heart to all the heartache this world had to offer.

He always was the optimist looking for good in everyone he met. He had been given a harsh wake up call and would suffer for the rest of his life for his weakness.

"I am sorry for the loss of Major Carter Colonel. She was a kind hearted spirit and one we came to admire. Daniel Jackson Karina has been taken to Ba'al's ship she and the rest of our village will be transported to another of his planets to serve him. I'll never see my little girl again. So in my eyes she is gone as is my Elisse."

Haras fell to his knees and cried. I knew the pain he felt. The loss of a child was bad but he had lost both his child and wife, he had nothing left.

The guards came forward and knocked us to our knees. I was next to Daniel.

He was not with us. It looked like he had shut himself off from everything. I whispered his name and still he didn't respond.

"Daniel, please say something don't shut us out. Daniel please I'm sorry for attacking you. It was wrong I was venting my anger at the wrong person. Sam would want us to pull together and get the hell off this rock."

He turned to me when I said her name.

"I thought you hated me. I'm sorry Jack I should have never said all those things to you. I was taking my pain out on you. Please forgive me. But, losing Sam like that in front of my eyes and me not being able to…."

His eyes widen and he gasped.

"What an idiot I am it must have been worse for you. God Jack I'm sorry so sorry how could I think you didn't love her after everything you two have been through."

I swallowed hard. He was apologizing to me. I was the one that had hurt him and he was apologizing to me.

"Daniel you said nothing wrong. I was selfish I should have told her what I felt for her. I screwed up worrying too much about the rules. God! Daniel if I could I'd give everything I had to have 5 minutes with her to tell her that I loved her more then she could ever imagine that I lived to see her smile to walk next to her to catch a whiff of her perfume and that she was the last thing I thought about before going to bed and the first thing that came to my mind when I woke up."

My confession was said in a whisper but he had heard I looked up to see Teal'c and I could see the sorrow he felt for me. I could feel the tears threatening to fall and I didn't care. I had no one to blame for my not telling Carter what was in my heart.

"O'Neill she knew. Even if you did not tell her she knew. Both of you had a bond that could not be broken. You were both in each others lives in all the realities we encounter. Love like yours does not need to be demonstrated it is natural. She knew in her heart that you loved her and that was enough for her. You both were willing to wait knowing no other could replace each other in your hearts."

That did it the tears fell as I heard my wise brother in arms tell me that the woman I loved and breathed for loved me and knew I loved her.

"Thanks T but, I should have told her it's something I will live with for the rest of my life and hopefully it wont be long. I want that son of a bitch dead before I die. It's the least I can do for Sam."

"I too want retribution I will aid you in this O'Neill I want revenge for the senseless death of Major Cater. I came to admire her for her heroism and her cunning skills as a warrior. But I am grateful I got to know the other side of her the one she does not let many see. For my friend in arms I will avenge her death."

"Me too I want to see him bleed Jack. I want revenge for my surrogate sister for Sam if one of us fails the other must take up the fight and kill him and make him feel the pain we are all suffering due to his senseless act of violence."

I looked at them and nodded I placed a hand on each of their shoulders and we all looked at each other with one mission left to carry out.

Kill Ba'al and have him suffer for taking the soul of SG1.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

We had one last mission to accomplish. Avenge the death of our friend, sister, warrior and one true love.

The guards had not tied us up again, so this was an advantage. They thought we had been broken, seeing Sam perish in front of us.

They didn't know that this only fuelled the fire in us to kill their god.

Haras saw us prepare for an attack and asked if he could help.

"Haras, what are you doing?" Magus asked when he saw Haras turn to us to ask whether he could assist us.

"Magus. I listened to you and the others when the demons came. I should have gone with my instinct and said no. They had come to us in friendship and all we did was hand them over to the demons. No! I will not cower! I will fight these demons, it's the least I can do for the people we lost. We deserve to suffer and they do not."

Magus showed that he wanted no part of it.

"Then you die on your knees, begging them to save you. If this is the last thing I do I will kill as many as I can of these demons that have wreaked havoc on our lives. We have nothing to live for. Our families are gone. I know you are not a coward Magus. Fight with us. Fight for those that we have lost."

I looked at Magus and he closed his eyes.

"You are right we should have fought when we had the chance. We have nothing to go back to. I will help you. I would rather die on my feet than die begging on my knees."

Five against an army the odds were getting better.

The doors opened and two guards came in. We waited. The doors closed and one positioned himself in front of Teal'c.

"You are Teal'c, the Shol'va, the one that speaks of freedom for his jaffa brothers?"

Teal'c looked up.

"Yes I am Teal'c and I do not worship false gods. I live to be free and if I die today I die a free man."

The second guard nudged the one in front of Teal'c.

"We also wish to be free. We have seen that Lord Ba'al is not a god. We wish to join the rebellion. There are others amongst us that have longed to leave but did not know how."

Our luck was changing. 5 had just become 7 and counting.

He extended a hand to Teal'c, who grasped it and helped him up.

"I am Rist'ka and this is Lom'ec. We will assist you in escaping. All we ask is that we be allowed to come with you along with any others wanting to leave the service of Ba'al."

I got up and stood next to Teal'c. He was looking at them, sizing them up to see if they were telling the truth or flat-out lying.

"We cannot stay long. We came to tell you that you have friends here and that we will be here to assist your escape. The false god Ba'al has gone back to his ship. He is preparing to leave. He has been summoned back by his new master."

Oh, this didn't sound good.

New master?

"Any assistance you can render us would be accepted."

They bowed to Teal'c, who turned to me.

"We need to get on the ship, O'Neill. To fulfill our mission we need to strike now. He has other things occupying his attention. We have the element of surprise. We will be able to execute our plan with minimal difficulty."

Teal'c was right. This could be our perfect opportunity. If we didn't take this opportunity we might not have another chance.

I agreed. Teal'c asked Risk'ta if they could take us to Ba'al's ship he looked at him in confusion.

"Why would you want to return to the ship? We are offering you your freedom. We can get you to the gate, but if you return to the ship you may not return."

Daniel moved forward.

"We are thankful for your assistance in getting us to the gate, but we still have unfinished business."

I looked at him and I knew he would not back down. I wanted to send him, the two elders and our new jaffa friends through the gate. It would be better if Teal'c and I did this alone. Less casualties and at least I would go in knowing that Daniel would live.

In his short life, he had already suffered enough.

I opened my mouth to voice my opinion and he saw, but nodded no.

"I'm not leaving Jack. I promised to help you kill that son of a bitch. Don't take this away from me. I'm okay with it. I need to do it. He has caused enough pain. It's for Sam as well as Karina. She never had a chance to grow up and maybe if we find her and the rest of the village we might be able to save some of them. It's the least we can do. Sam would want this. I know she would."

Haras and Magus came forward too, saying that they would not leave if there was a chance to save some of their people.

The guards were getting jumpy, but Teal'c reassured them that we would be successful in killing Ba'al.

"Put your trust in me and the Tau'ri. We have killed other false gods and we will be successful again. He has taken from us a sister in arms, a friend."

Lom'ec whispered to Risk'ta.

"You speak of the woman that was with you? She was taken to the ship her body is there."

Daniel blurted out, "We have to take her back. Jack, no one gets left behind. It'll be closure for all of us."

I nodded and agreed.

"We kill the bastard, take Sam back and blow that son of a bitch's ship out of the sky so no one else can use it. Risk'ta we need our weapons and everything we came with. Can you get these things?"

"Yes, we can as they are in room close by. We can stop there first and go directly to the rings to transport us up to the ship."

"Okay, there's still a chance to back out if you guys want to."

No one moved. I looked at all of them and I could suddenly see that they had the same determination as I did.

We would take back what was ours.

We would kill him and show him no mercy.

I walked over to the pedestal and saw that the knife had been put back into its place. I picked it up and showed it to my team.

"I get the first crack at killing him. But promise me that it will be done with this knife if I don't kill him. It's the same one he used on Sam. I want him too feel the pain she did."

Daniel nodded.

"Indeed, revenge will be ours O'Neill."

The others nodded also.

I looked at the knife, "to not leaving anyone behind, to killing that son of a bitch and to revenge long over due".

I lifted the knife in an odd salute and watched in surprise as my gesture was returned by everybody present.


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

Luck was on our side, or maybe our angel, my angel, was guiding us  
to the monster that had ended her life.

Everything was falling into place.

I knew she wanted to bring her killer to justice for taking her from  
us before her time. It was for her as much as for us. Closure was  
needed and it would be the first of many steps towards recovery for  
Daniel and Teal'c.

I didn't include myself in this because there would be no recovery.  
My life was over as soon as I killed Ba'al. I had nothing to look  
forward to. I could not bear living my life with out her by my side.  
I swallowed hard and tried not to think too much of her. I had to be  
sharp to get this task done. I held on to the hope that I would see  
her again in the afterlife.

We would finally be together forever.

We had gotten out of the chamber of horrors and were stopped by two  
guards that questioned our Jaffa friends. They told them their lord  
wanted us on the ship. That he wanted to give us as gifts to his new  
master.

The guards did not believe them. I motioned to Teal'c and we took  
them out, zatting them three times and going on to get our weapons.  
We didn't have time to dwell.

We had a mission to complete.

We found the room that held our supplies with no problem. I picked  
up my pack and sought out Carter's. I held it close and saw it was  
scorched by the shoulder. I could smell her on the jacket.

Daniel moved next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

I composed myself and started to go through her pockets. I took out  
the extra ammunition, her knife, and other little knick knacks she  
had hidden. The last inside pocket held pictures. One picture was of Cassie and  
Janet, one of Daniel, Teal'c and her father. The last one was of me  
and her.

She was laughing at something I had said and I could see the sparkle  
in her eyes. She looked so relaxed, so comfortable, so safe.

I suppressed the sob that wanted to escape my throat.

I took the picture of us together and gave the rest to Daniel. He  
looked at them and put them in his pocket. I handed him her P 90  
and he said he would not let her or me down.

I nodded and went over to Teal'c, who was securing his flak jacket  
and his zat. I nodded to him and asked if he was ready.

"Indeed, let us seek our vengeance and take our friend home."

I asked Daniel if he had his GDO. He nodded and Teal'c told me he  
had his too.

"Okay, it looks like everyone is getting ready to leave this place  
behind. They'll be looking for us soon, so we have to move now."

----------

We got out of the supply room and made our way to the rings with  
little notice. The Jaffa were moving things back to the ship and  
the ones that did see us motioned to our armored allies to let them  
know they were loyal to us.

One of these Jaffa came up to us and said that the compound was  
being evacuated.

They knew trouble was coming.

"Our new master is on his way here to take over from Lord Ba'al. He  
will have him pledge his allegiance or die. We are ready to fight  
for our friends, just tell us when you want us to rise up. Our  
ranks are growing by the hour. We know we will not survive with the  
new master. Anubis will have us all killed and replace us with his  
drones. We must act before he arrives."

They knew their number was up. They had heard the stories of the  
super soldiers and knew that this spelled the end for them.

Teal'c motioned to the others and they formulated a plan.

Each of our Jaffa friends would gather those they knew to be loyal  
to the rebel Jaffa. Any others would be given a chance to come, but  
if they did not comply they would be zatted and tied up. No one else  
would be killed without just cause and if they wanted to stay with  
Ba'al so be it.

They would die with the bastard.

We got to the rings and our two Jaffa friends transported up first  
to make sure the coast was clear. We waited 2 minutes and then  
followed them up.

They had neutralized the room. Only one guard had been zatted. The  
other two were friends.

Teal'c asked for the location of Lord Ba'al.

"Ba'al has been in a foul mood since he has found out that his new  
master is coming here. He has ordered all of his loyal guards to  
reposition away from the compound and has ordered your deaths. He  
wanted to hand you over to Anubis, but then thought it better to  
have you killed, along with all of your knowledge of the Chapp'ai  
network. He doesn't want to give him anymore of an advantage."

I nodded. So, the bastard snake head was worried what Anubis might  
find in our heads.

It would soon be over.

"He has just left from the bridge. He has received a communication  
that our new lord will be here soon. He has returned to his chamber  
to await his new master."

I told Daniel to take Haras and Magus to find the villagers. One of  
the Jaffa said that he would guide them.

Daniel looked hurt. I shook my head no before he could object.

"I need you to do this. Karina is there, remember? She is scared  
Danny. Get her off this ship and back to the SGC. We will find  
them a safe planet once this is done."

Daniel blurted out, "Only if you promise me to come back, Jack.  
I've lost one friend today, I don't want to lose another. Just get  
it done and come home with her. Please, Jack, I don't want to have  
to explain this to Cassie."

I smiled and said, "As soon as I kill him, I'll be on my way home  
with Sam. Don't worry, space monkey, you'll only get wrinkles on  
that boyish face of yours."

Daniel snorted and smiled. He went over to Rist'ka, Lom'ec and the  
guard. We synchronized our watches for 45 minutes. That would be  
enough time to get everybody off the ship and to the gate.

They left and I turned to Teal'c.

I pulled the C-4 I had brought along to show the villagers what we  
would be using to tunnel for Naquadah. I handed it to him with the  
timers. He had Rist'ka and Lom'ec take some of it too and explained  
what it did. They would have to plant it the on bridge and try to  
convince as many of their brothers as they could to get off the  
damned ship.

They agreed and left to do their tasks after Teal'c showed them how  
to arm the timers.

"I am ready to accompany you, O'Neill."

"No buddy, you're going to go get Carter's body and take it home.  
He's mine and mine alone. I need to kill this bastard once and for  
all. I need to put my demons to rest. She would have done the same  
thing for me if the tables were reversed."

He looked at me and bowed, understanding why I needed to do this  
alone.

Ba'al had almost broken me before. He had robbed me of having a life  
with her. He had robbed me of my love. He had to pay and pay he  
would.

"I will see you at the gate, O'Neill. Take care, my brother and do  
not concern your self. I will locate Major Carter's body and take  
her back home. You have my word."

I shook his hand and put my beanie on. I changed from the aloof  
colonel to a cold blooded killer that instant.

The last Jaffa guard saw this change in me and looked away.

He took my arm and said, "May you find your vengeance O'Neill, it is  
long over due."


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: okay its going to get rocky the next couple of parts if you don't want to read understandable and skip to part 13 which will be posted soon. Just giving everyone a heads up and a warning its gonna get dark before it gets lighter

Part 10

I feel the warmth of the light surrounding me.

It feels so safe.

I can't open my eyes. It's too bright, so I lie here in the dark.

I must be dead.

The stories of a bright light and a walk down a long tunnel come to  
mind.

Will a loved one be there to greet me?

I smile, for I know who I want to be there to receive me.

I am at peace now. Everything that I've accomplished flashes through  
my mind.

But also the regrets, the regrets of promises unfulfilled, of things  
said, things left unsaid and actions never taken.

I am sorry to have left my friends, my family, the one I loved behind.

I will watch them and protect them. It's the least I could do.

Then the light is suddenly fading and I am yanked away from my  
peaceful state.

I am pulled up and out of the box I was lying in.

I try to focus and dread fills me.

I see who has taken me out of my gentle slumber.

Two Jaffa guards are pulling me towards a door.

I look back and see the box I had been roughly taken from.

A Sarcophagus.

-----

Everything rushes back to me and I try to pull away from them.

I grab for my neck and feel the wound has been healed, as has the one  
on my shoulder.

Oh God! Where is Daniel, Teal'c? Where is the Colonel?

The grab me again and drag me to my doom.

I bite my lip trying to suppress the scream. I have to be brave; I  
have to keep my mind.

They'd expect no less from me.

Ba'al had revived me in the sarcophagus. I was brought back, only to  
be tortured again.

The smell of the acid burning my skin is a fresh memory.

The feel of the blade slicing through my neck is there too.

I'm finding it hard to breathe. The memories of watching them watch  
me die are flashing through my mind.

The feeling of my own death chills my bones.

I could still feel the blood pouring out of me; I could still see my  
team yelling out to me. I see Daniel's tear stained face as he calls  
out my name and shrieks out curses in Go'auld. Teal'c is silent but  
his eyes openly show his horror.

My colonel cries out. A cry ripped from his very soul, and from  
mine.

"No!

His gaze showing just how broken he is inside.

Then darkness.

Oh, my heart was aching.

They had been forced to witness that. If the situation were, God  
forbid, reversed, I would have fallen apart.

I reached for my throat again, as I thought about my team.

Where were they?

Where they even alive?

They had to be. What would happen if they were not?

And where the hell were they taking me to?

I half prayed it was back to the chamber. At least I'd know if they  
were alive. The torture I could withstand if it meant I found out  
what had happened to them.

I started to recognize the hallway and I closed my eyes.

We were on a ship. Not good.

That meant I was no longer on the planet and it would be harder to  
escape.

Two doors slid aside in front of me and I hear crying.

I opened my eyes and saw the villagers.

Ba'al had gone back on his word. This was no surprise to me, but it  
still hurt that the elders had betrayed us for nothing.

I was shoved into one of the cells and fell to my knees.

"Major Sam, are you alright?"

I looked up to see Karina, Daniel's little shadow as she was dubbed  
by the colonel. She had come down to sit in front of me. She cupped  
my face with her hand and I smiled.

"I'm fine Karina, are you okay? Where's your mother?"

"I am here, Samantha, as are all the women and children from the  
village."

Haras's wife came forward and she had obviously been crying. I sat  
up and looked at all the women. I had to think of something to say so  
I wouldn't panic them, but what could I say? We were all in the same  
boat.

"We are sorry to have betrayed you and your team. We didn't think we  
had any choice. They had killed so many of the younger men and the  
elderly…"

She dabbed her eyes.

"We were told we would be allowed to go free once you were captured,  
but they lied. We should have fought, I know this now, but they were  
going to kill Karina next if we did not agree. I'm sorry, my  
daughter means the world to me and to Haras, and the elders feared  
their own children would be the next to be chosen. So we agreed."  
She looked away in shame.

I told her I understood, as did the team. They'd had no other  
choice. But they did not know what the future held for them.

A life of slavery, of torture, of death.

She tried to reassure them, to reassure herself.

"Don't worry, the colonel will find a way to get us out of here. You  
must all be brave, we'll survive this and you will all return to your  
home."

"Now that you are here, we have hope, Samantha, that we will, and  
also that we will be reunited with our loved ones."

I nodded and went to sit down. Karina took my hand and led me over to  
where the other children were sitting.

They were scared.

Karina shushed them and told them all would be well, now that I was here.

The demons would not take any of them, now that I was here to protect them.

I suppressed a sob. I wanted to cry out that I was as scared as they  
were. But I put on my best face and told them we would be getting  
out very soon. They smiled and each one gave me a hug.

Karina was the last and she whispered into my ear, "I knew you were  
an angel when I first saw you. I know you will not let any harm come  
to us and you will bring back my poppa."

I smiled and said that I'd do my best.

I told them all to get some rest and that we could be leaving at  
anytime. They all went back to their mothers and Karina took my  
hand, wanting me to follow her again.

"No, Karina, I'm going to stay here. You go to your mother and  
rest. I'll be okay, really."

"Alright, Major Sam, but if you get scared I'll be just over there."  
Her young face was serious with concern.

I gave her a smile and she smiled back. She had so much trust in me,  
even though she knew I was scared.

The colonel was right; she was far too smart to fool. That's why she  
had latched on to Daniel, absorbing his knowledge like a sponge.

But I instinctively knew I could trust Karina not to tell the others  
just how scared I was, how very afraid.

-----

I sit and think over my situation.

I died.

I died.

I don't know what has happened to my friends. I'm in a cell with  
women and children. I'm on a Go'auld Mother Ship and I'm a prisoner  
of Ba'al.

Just thinking his name chills me.

I now knew how the colonel must've felt when he saw who had captured  
us. Fear, fear of going through the torture again, fear of losing  
himself in the sarcophagus, fear of waking up again only to be killed  
once more.

I fight back the tears. I must live, both to find them and to save  
these people. They are innocent, just pawns in this.

I wipe away the stray tears that have betrayed my soldier façade and  
try to formulate a plan.

Before I can get started, the doors open and 5 guards approach me. I  
look at them and they order me to get up.

When I don't, I'm yanked upright. Karina yells out in protest and  
grabs my hand. She's pleading with the guards to not take me. Her  
mother comes over to restrain her just too late as the guard bats her  
away with the staff weapon, knocking her to the other side of the  
cell.

My instincts kick in. I feel the fury deep inside me and I take the  
guard to my right down, quickly using his staff weapon to kill  
another guard, before being hit on the back of my head and falling.  
I'm seeing stars and I'm pulled up again by the head guard.

"You will pay for this! I will inform my lord of your attempted  
escape and he will punish you, and those that aided you! Take the  
child!"

I started to struggle, to shout out no, but it was of no use. He had  
motioned for another of the guards to pick up Karina, who was still  
unconscious.

Her mother started to fight with the guard who was lifting her, and  
she was zatted into unconsciousness.

"What is the meaning of this? Our lord has demanded the Tauri woman  
to be brought to him and you are bothering with insignificant slaves?  
Go now, before I report your behavior to our God".

The guard that had brought me to the cell was standing in the  
doorway, glaring furiously at the Jaffa in the room. After he had  
dressed down the guard in charge of getting me, I was thrown out the  
cell. I landed on the floor and was kicked in the ribs. I was told  
to stand up again.

Through the closing doors, I could see the others tending to Karina  
and her mother, as I hauled myself to my feet.

With one last look, I turned my head away and let the armored Jaffa  
lead me away to my fate.

-----

I'm expecting us to go to the transport room and ring down to the  
compound. But instead I am taken to another chamber on board the  
mother ship.

As I am thrown onto the floor, I look up and see that I am in a  
throne room. And I cannot stop the wave of panic that overtakes me  
when I see the dark eyes of the Go'auld seated there, alongside his  
lotar.

Ba'al.

I had known where I was being taken, whom I was being taken to.

But seeing him instantly made the already painful memories so much  
stronger, so much more upsetting. It was almost too much for me.

He smiled as I shuddered on the floor.

I didn't care.

I prepared myself to die.

Again.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: okay its going to get rocky the next couple of parts if you don't want to read understandable and skip to part 13 which will be posted soon. Just giving everyone a heads up and a warning its gonna get dark before it gets lighter.

My hands are shaking.

I ball them into fists to stop them. My throat is suddenly closing up on me and I have an overwhelming desire to cry.

I won't though.

It's what he'd want. A reaction to what he has done to me.

I am yanked to my knees. I wince at the pain in my ribs and want to cry out, but don't.

I hear his voice in my head, not the voice of the man I love, but the voice of my CO, telling me I was a Major in the United States Air Force. Telling me that I would not cower anymore, I would suck it up and I would live.

I close my eyes and feel at peace.

He was always with me and even in my subconscious he was there to urge me to fight, to live.

I open my eyes and hold my chin up. He couldn't hurt me any more than he already had.

I was going to die.

Then so be it.

-----

He was looking down at me and smiling.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Major. I hope you've been treated well since we last met."

He got up and stood in front of me. He was peering at me, moving his eyes up and down curiously. He started to walk slowly around me. I could feel him staring at me from all angles.

He snapped his fingers and two guards came forward.

"Remove her jacket. I want to see what she is hiding. I'm sure I'll be pleasantly surprised."

He was trying to unnerve me.

I struggled but he stepped forward and cupped my face.

His fingers were pressing hard on my chin.

They ripped my jacket off and he let go.

I looked down at my shirt or what little remained of it... There was the hole from the staff blast on the shoulder, on my chest the holes from the acid drops that had burned through my skin. Between these, only a small strip of fabric held the shirt together.

He reached out to finger the material.

My skin started to crawl. As much as the military tried to prepare you for moments like this, all training went out of the window when it actually happened.

"All this beauty hiding under all that clothing. It is a shame but I'm sure that can be easily rectified."

He yanked at it and what was left of my shirt was in his hand.

He was trying to humiliate me but it wouldn't work. I looked straight ahead thinking of good things.

Chocolate, blue Jell-o, Teal'c's odd sense of humor, Daniel's endless prattle, the Colonel's funny face when I confused him, these where the things that were keeping me focused.

I glared up at him.

"Where is my team? What have you've done to them?"

His smile became icy. "Ah, she speaks. Your team, the Sholva Teal'c, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Colonel Jack O'Neill, are dead. All of them. They would not cooperate so I disposed of them."

"You're lying. I was brought back so can they. Stop this charade. We're not going to tell you anything. Take me to my team."

"Ah, major, they are dead, believe me. They perished at the compound not long ago, at my hands, of course. Watching you die was the incentive enough to get the information I needed from them, and as they were no longer of any use to me, I disposed of them. All. The Shol'va suffered immensely as an example to any other Jaffa that would follow in his footsteps and join the inferior rebellion. Dr. Jackson was quite helpful with addresses for new planets that are rich in naquadah before his untimely end and Colonel O'Neill was finally broken. He didn't even fight as he did the last time I enjoyed his company. He crumbled pathetically. I was expecting more from him, but it does not matter. I gained all that I needed and now I have you too."

"You expect me to believe you, a false god, to tell the truth? Fat chance, it's not going to happen."

He smiled and went back to sit on his throne.

"Would you like proof? I have proof they are dead. Here, let me show you."

He motioned for one of the guards to come forward.

The Jaffa threw down Teal'c's staff weapon, Daniel's glasses and the Colonel's cap.

Holding back the wave of horror that threatened to overtake me, I looked at the guard, then towards Ba'al.

"You could have taken these things from them. This doesn't prove they are dead."

He motioned to a screen and pressed a button. Images of the chamber came on.

"Oh god, no," I whispered.

It was the Colonel. On the wall that I had died on. He was pleading to die. All my will to stay calm left me in that moment.

I heard him plead with Ba'al to end it once and for all, that he had told him everything he knew. I tried to turn away. Ba'al saw this and came down from his chair to hold up my chin, forcing me to watch.

I started to shake again and a sob escaped me.

He came close and whispered, "Watch as he dies, Samantha. I am your god and you will serve me."

I heard him yell out my name and choked on the scream that wanted to come out.

I covered my face with my hands. But I could still hear him screaming out my name. Not my rank or my family name, but the name my mother and father had given me.

I could hear him yelling it out, the sound of my name on his lips echoing around the chamber, even as he struggled to breathe.

He'd called me Sam.

In his last minutes of life, he had called out to me.

I looked at the staff weapon, Daniel's glasses and the colonel's cap and shook my head.

"No! You're lying, you wouldn't kill them, you're trying to trick me."

"Watch as he takes his last breath and then tell me if I'm lying, Samantha."

I whispered hoarsely.

"No."

He forced me to look as the last dagger pierced his heart and took him from me.

My Colonel, my inspiration, my love, my life.

Gone.

Forever.

He was dead.

Ba'al had killed my family.

My warrior friend, my surrogate brother and the man of my dreams all gone, thanks to this sonofabitch snake head.

-----

I spring into action and knock his hand from my chin and land a blow to his mid section.

He falls back and I pounce on him and start to hit him.

I am pulled off of him and try to struggle to get to him.

I have to make him pay for killing my friends.

He is angry and goes to his throne, coming back with his ribbon device.

I hear the hum and wait for pain.

"You have no one left, Samantha. You are at my mercy. Your people do not know you have been taken, your team is dead. No one is here to save you."

I hear him and realize it is true. We were not due to check in for a couple of days and no one could possibly know we had been captured.

It was looking bleak, but I don't care anymore.

I would live long enough to kill this bastard.

-----

I wrench myself free, grab the staff weapon and knock one of the guards down.

I try to get the next one, but I'm thrown back by the ribbon device. I hit the wall and land on the floor.

Ba'al is looking down at me and speaks coldly.

"Would you like to know how your other friends died, Samantha? I would take pleasure in detailing all that was done to them, or I could simply show you. Either way, it does not matter. You will accept they are dead, and that no one is coming to save you. You are at my mercy."

I close my eyes. Oh my god, he is right. I'm alone in this, with no one to know, much less care that I am being held by a maniac.

Far from home and with no hope.

I have nothing left.

I feel the tears falling down my cheeks. I don't care anymore. He's taken away the things I cherish most.

My family, my friends, my love.

He's suddenly beside me and pulls me up. I lose my balance and he holds me close. Too close. I try to pull away but he won't let go.

He caresses my face with the hand encased in his ribbon device and I want to gag.

"Things could be different for you, Samantha. They could be easier."

Dread starts to creep up on me.

I do not like where this is going.

Better? How?

"I admire your spirit. I am entranced by your beauty and your mind with its endless knowledge would benefit me immensely. That's why you should be honored that I have chosen you as my new lotar."

I jerk away from him but he holds on to my arm tightly.

New lotar? Is he nuts? I want him dead and to imagine him touching me or ….

"Over my dead body, I'll never submit to you. I'd rather die!"

He threw me across the room I slid along the floor and hit the opposite wall.

He came at me.

"That can be arranged Major. You will be mine, willing or not. I will have you."

Could this situation get any worse?

A guard walks in and asks for Ba'al. He turns and to ask what he is wanted for and is told he is needed on the bridge.

I'm saved for the moment.

He orders his lotar to dress me according to my new position and tells two of the guards to assist her.

I try to get up but I'm still a little shaky.

The lotar moves in front of Ba'al, bows down to him and says she will do as he wishes. She will prepare me for him and have everything ready when he returns.

She gets up and goes to a panel on the wall and the wall opens to reveal a bed. She is then followed out of the room by the two guards.

He tells one of the guards to not let anyone in except him and his lotar.

I am alone and I get up, looking around.

I look at the bed and try to ignore my stomach heaving.

This was not going happen.

I would not let him take me.

I would kill him or be killed in the process of it.

My friends would be avenged.

My love would be waiting for me on the other side and we'd be together.

For always.

-----

I walked up to Ba'al's chair and saw the knife.

I grabbed it and looked around for somewhere to hide it. My luck was changing. I would use this knife to kill him, then myself.

I went to the bed and hid it under a pillow before the doors opened.

The lotar came forward with clothing and handed it to me.

I dropped them to the floor.

She shook her head and bent down to pick them up again.

"You should be honored that our god has chosen you to be his new lotar. Others would fight to have this honor bestowed on them and you are throwing away this opportunity? He is handsome and a most skilled lover. You will enjoy his company and come to anticipate the pleasure he can give you."

I wanted to lose my lunch. Just thinking of this guy touching me was making me sick.

Pleasure? No way. Not ever.

I took a deep breath and prayed that I would have the strength to kill him before it came to that. If not, I would kill myself.

"Please do not make me call the guards to help you take off your clothing. It would be better for you if you did it on your own."

The lotar motioned me to a corner with a curtain.

"Please, I want you ready by the time my master comes back, as if you are not he will punish me."

Great, more guilt.

I took the clothes and went behind the curtain.

I looked at the dress and yelled out. "No!"

She came around the curtain.

"What is the matter, does it not fit? Please do not be difficult."

"I will not wear this! It can't even be classified as clothing."

"Then you leave me no choice but to call the guards. I am sorry."

"No, wait, show me how this goes. I'll comply."

I took off my pants and shoes. She motioned for me to take of my sports bra and I shook my head. But she nodded yes. I complied. It covered nothing, everything was showing and then she motioned for my underwear. I folded my arms around my chest and yelled, "NO!"

"Guards!"

I gasped as they came around the curtain and held me while she took one of the knives from the guard and cut them off.

I pulled out of their grip and walked away.

I felt so humiliated.

The guards left and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"I am sorry but I had a task to complete. You will learn to do as our god wishes, or you will be punished with his hand device. Here, drink this; I am sure you are thirsty. It will quench this thirst."

I was thirsty and took a sip, but it was bitter and as she motioned for me to drink more and I stopped and threw it aside.

She was trying to drug me.

She yelled for the guards as she ran to the door.

They came in and grabbed me.

She filled my cup again and made me drink. I was pleading for her to stop but it was too late. I could feel the haze starting to over take me. I couldn't feel my legs or arms.

I was dragged to the bed and put in the middle.

She came over and rubbed oils on to my skin and rearranged my clothing. I couldn't feel anything but the tears that fell onto my cheeks.

I murmured, "Don't let him do this to me. I will kill him if he touches me. Please kill me now. Don't let me suffer, just kill me now."

She caressed my face.

"You are lucky I am not a jealous servant. I might comply with your request. He may have you, but in time he will tire of you and come back to me, as he's done many times. I am his loyalist servant and I am patient. No, you will get to enjoy him as I do. We might become friends once you realize it is not so bad. That this is a great honor. He might even make you his queen and then we will be together forever."

She was clearly delusional.

I would never submit to her god.

She fixed my hair and started to put make up on me. When she finished lining my lips, she brought a mirror over so I could see the finished product.

She had made me up beautifully.

As if I cared.

"My god will be pleased. I am sure of this. I will leave you now, he should be returning soon. Remember my words; you will grow to love him as I do."

She left me alone and paralyzed.

I willed my limbs to move but they wouldn't.

I was getting desperate. I didn't want to let him touch me.

I lay there and thought of the colonel. Of us waiting. For what? We had waited too long and now he was gone. And I was going to be touched by the man that had killed him.

I turned my head and felt my pinky move.

I tried it again and it moved.

They didn't know about Jolinar.

Ever since I had been blended, my body chemistry had changed. All medications used on me had to be doubled or tripled in dosage so they would work.

There was still a chance of me fulfilling my mission. To kill Ba'al for taking my life away.

Even as the doors opened, I could move more of my fingers.

But it might not be enough.

It's him.

Ba'al.

It might be too late.

I am gripped by an overwhelming fear.

I suppress a cry.


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for the feedback I'm glad you all are enjoying the ride. Well its gonna get dark before the dawn. This part is very dark bad situation involving Sam so if you want to skip it 13 is around the corner. Just giving you all a warning. So on to the story

Part 12

He walks into the room and is in a rage.

I can't see what he is doing, but by the way he paces the floor and yells at the guards, I know it isn't good news.

I still can't move anything but my fingers.

I hear something crashing against the wall and some cursing in Go'auld. It's too fast for me to translate but one word stands out.

Anubis.

He is not happy and Anubis is to blame.

Maybe he'll forget about me. He seems to have other things on his mind I try to move my hands and they cooperate.

This is good.

I just have to get the rest of my body going, kill the bastard, exact my revenge, find some decent clothes, free the villagers and blow up this ship.

Piece of cake, I snort to myself.

Revenge is all I have left.

My team is gone. No one will come to rescue me.

I am alone.

I snap out of my stupor when I hear more things being hurled across the room. He is enraged and lets out a bellow.

He is pacing, yelling to his guards and then, suddenly, he stops.

I hold my breath.

I wonder if he has finally remembered that I am still here.

I close my eyes.

I can feel tingling in my feet.

Yes!

Just a little more feeling in the arms, that's all I need to fight this monster.

I open my eyes, only to see him peering down at me.

I gasp, but can't turn away.

He smiles and starts to leer at me. My skin starts to crawl. He starts to finger the top I am wearing. He carefully traces the stitching on the bodice with his finger tip. He takes his time adjusting a button that I must have missed. His hand brushes my exposed belly and I feel goose bumps starting to form.

He does it again and I bite my lip. I feel my stomach drop and I want to lash out at him for doing this to me, but I'm paralyzed. I want to scream out in protest, but he has to think I am incapacitated.

And in a way, I really am.

Not by the drug I was given, but by fear of what is to take place, if I can't get my body to work in time.

He moves his hand up to my face.

He caresses my cheek, outlines my cheekbone with a fingertip, then starts to trace my lips with his thumb.

He stares constantly at my face whilst he is slowly torturing me this way.

He stops and brings the thumb to his mouth and runs his tongue across it.

I can't help it, I let out a whimper and this pleases him.

I'm starting to panic and this seems to fuel his desire.

I can't turn away. His gaze has turned primal. I can see his eyes darkening, his breathing has changed and he sits next to me as he starts to run his fingers down my arm.

"You are just the distraction I need to take my mind off of my distress. You are a beautiful woman Samantha, more beautiful then I could have ever imagined you would be. You stir something inside me that has not been stirred in some time. I will take much pleasure in discovering what makes you scream, and scream you will, but screams of ecstasy my precious one. If you please me you will become my beloved and we will rule this universe together. You will be my queen and I alone will be able to enjoy you. Yes Samantha, you will bring me great pleasure. Your spirit and fight will make my conquering you that much more satisfying."

He starts to finger my clothing again. His words are ringing in my ears. His beloved, his queen great pleasure? What pleasure when I am repulsed by even being in the same room as him? Tears are threatening to fall when he speaks again.

"The clothing you wore did you no justice. You should be dressed like this, to show everyone that you are an attractive woman. But perhaps I should be grateful that you were hidden for all this time, or the others would have claimed you for their own needs. This dress does not do you justice. Maybe something more revealing? Yes, less becomes you, my beloved. I can't wait to see you wearing nothing but sweat from the pleasure I have given you."

I was going to be sick.

He called me beloved again? This was a bad dream, no, a nightmare. I still couldn't move. I needed to get up and out of here before…

I whisper, "No." He just smiles, cups my chin and kisses me.

I let out a sob.

He turns to the guards.

"Leave us. I do not want to be disturbed at all. The only communication I want is to be informed when Lord Anubis is here. Go now!"

The guards leave and he does not come to me.

I move my head and lift it a little.

I follow him with my eyes as he moves to his throne.

He pours himself some wine and starts to come back towards me.

I lie back down and don't move. I don't want him to know I can move. If he realizes, he might make me drink some more of the drugged wine.

He places his cup on the table by the bed and starts to undress. I close my eyes, not wanting this to happen.

I needed to buy more time, but how? He stops undressing and sits by me again.

He is shirtless and takes a long drink from his cup.

He is smiling as he stirs the wine with his finger and removes it to trace drops of wine onto my stomach.

I close my eyes, thinking of something to do to get out of this. But there is nothing.

"You will enjoy what I can do for you, Samantha. I will show you things you could never imagine with anyone. You will be mine and mine alone. No one will ever take you from my side. You will be more than my Lotar. You will be my queen, my beloved, by my side for eternity. We will learn what each of us enjoys and we will be one."

He holds my waist and starts to lap up the drops of wine that have fallen into my navel.

I jerk and my arms shoot up.

I could move and this was good. I quickly put them back down.

He was entertained elsewhere and started to make his way up my body.

The knife was still too far away. That was my only hope, to stop this from happening to me.

I spoke.

"Please, wait, I'm not ready for this. Please don't do this."

He looked up.

"Samantha, this is going to happen whether you want it to or not. I will have you today and everyday that follows. You will give me what I desire, when I desire it and in time, you will grow to crave me. Or would you prefer to be with my new master? He does not care for your beauty. He only would desire what is in that lovely head of yours. He will probe your brain, leaving no stone left unturned. He will break you. You thought my torture was vile, but his is vicious. I would not want that to befall you, but I will give you a choice. Either me or him. He will be here soon, but mark my words, I will have you either way."

I have to buy time and I have to get to the knife. He is staring and waiting for my answer.

"Samantha, you have no one to rescue you. Your team is dead. You have seen the proof of their demise. I am offering you a haven. All you have to do is obey me and bow down to me as your god. I demand your answer now!"

He grabs me by the upper arms and pulls me towards him. The time is now.

I whisper, "I choose you."

He smiles.

"I expect you to cooperate, Samantha, but if you fight me it will only heighten my pleasure."

He lets go of my arms, cups my face and starts to kiss me again. I have to stop myself from pushing him away.

My hands clench into fists and I realize I can move them with no problem.

I start to lean towards the pillow that hides the knife.

He thinks I want to lie down.

He lets my face go and starts to climb into the bed. I turn away and he yanks my face back to him.

"Never turn away from me, do you understand this? Never look away from your god. You will be forgiven this time, but I will not be so lenient next time."

I nod. I have to make him think I am complying.

I inch back more and he follows. He grasps my waist to pull me towards him and I pull back. He is about to voice his anger when I speak.

"Please, I don't want to displease you, but the drug your servant gave me is still making me weak. May I prop myself against the pillows behind me? It will serve both of us and I only want to please you."

I look down and bite my tongue, praying he buys the load of crap I had just spewed.

He lifts my chin and whispers for me to open my eyes.

I do and he is there, in front of me. He moves me to the pillows behind me. While doing this he murmurs how pleased he is that I have come to accept my new role. I am now lying on the pillow that has the knife under it.

He comes close and rips the bodice, exposing me to him. He flings the torn garment to the side and starts to caress me. I turn away. He looks up and demands to know what I am doing.

He slaps me and I cry out. He starts to get rougher and pulls the rest of the skirt off.

I push him and he laugh.

His hands are everywhere and I fight.

"Yes, fight Samantha, I knew you couldn't do this without a fight."

He wants me to fight him, but he is too strong. I reach for the knife and feel him trying to part my legs.

I grasp the knife's handle while he fights to have me comply with his wishes.

This is it. I will kill him now, once and for all.

He has positioned himself over me and is enthralled with my neck. He is biting me and I scream, but this only makes him do it more.

He is sick. I need him to stop or I will not be able to do this.

I close my eyes and pray the guys will give me the strength I need to kill this son of a bitch for taking their lives. For taking away my family and hurting then killing the man that I would die for.

I lift the knife over his neck.

It has to be done correctly.

I am about to strike, when he sees what I am about to do. He roars and knocks the knife out of my hand. He throws me off the bed.

I am dazed but realize I have failed.

I see the knife and crawl towards it. He sees what I am doing and grabs me by the hair, throwing me across the room. I hit my head on the wall and land with a thud.

I see him rise and come towards me with the knife and the ribbon device.

Tears are streaming down my face.

I have failed.

I couldn't kill him and now I would pay.

But I don't care.

He straddles me and slaps me across the face.

"How dare you betray me! You would have been my queen! But fear not, I will punish you for your insolence and I will still have you Samantha. I will have you over and over again till you can no longer move. Then I will kill you and bring you back to life over and over again. Do you hear me? There is no escape for you. You will be my slave for all of eternity."

I cry out no and start to pummel him with my fist.

He grabs my head and slams it to the floor. I am stunned and stop.

I look up only to see him glaring down at me.

"Even as you betray me, you make me want you more. Prepare yourself for your god!"

I am out of time and I am about to be raped by the man that had killed everything that had meant anything to me.

I scream. Not caring that I am calling out to a dead man for help But I am lost and he is the only thing that's shielding me from what is about to happen.

"Oh, god, please somebody, help me! Jack, oh god, Jack, please help take me away from here! Please don't let this animal rape me. Jack!"

I hear laughter as he is about to thrust into me.

"You are mine he is dead. It will be my name you will be screaming next."

I hear shouts then gunfire as the doors explode open.

I turn to see a ghost.

It can't be him?

He's dead. My mind must be cracking under the stress, making me see the one person that I want to save me, even though I know he can't.

But it is him.

I whisper his name, "Jack" as the darkness claims me.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: This part is a little better but still dark situation so bear in mind it will get better. Hope you all enjoy and feedback is so much appreciated.

Part 13

I didn't have much time, but I didn't care if I made it off this ship or not. I wanted to kill the snakehead and to make him suffer for what he had done.

My team would be safe.

Or as safe as could be expected, as one of us was coming home to her final resting place.

She would be given full honors and a funeral to rival any top officer.

She had devoted her life to keeping the planet safe and this had been her reward.

To have her life take away by a monster.

The world, hell the universe, would be a colder place now that her smile would no longer brighten the day, or her ideals save the world. Her compassion would be missed, as would her drive, the drive that had made the SGC what it is today.

A force to be reckoned with.

My guide motioned for us to stop. I watched as he went to investigate if the hallway was clear.

I crouched down in the corner, checked my watch and saw the seconds ticking by.

I opened the pocket and pulled out the picture of both of us.

What I would give to have that day again. To have her by my side and finally tell her what was in my heart.

That I felt so lucky loving her, that she made a difference in my life.

That she only had to smile and I was lost.

That I knew I would never be lonely knowing her.

That she would only have to touch my hand and I would feel at peace.

That no one could replace her in my heart.

That I was unconditionally hers.

She could ask me for anything. I would never refuse.

That I was a shell of a man till I met her, that she made me want to be a better man for her.

That my love would never falter for her, even knowing she was gone I knew she would wait till I came so we could be together.

Teal'c was right. We had an unspoken understanding, a bond that would never be broken.

We had something more then words could ever describe.

We simply had what we felt for each other.

But, what I would give to utter those three words that would make her mine.

I shook myself out of my thoughts. I had a job to do and then as for what happened afterwards? I didn't care, as long as I killed him and rid this damned universe of his existence. I would do it for my peace of mind but for her also.

I put the picture back and waited to see if it was safe to proceed.

The Jaffa came back and said it was clear. We continued down the corridor and I gripped my weapon. We needed to go up two floors to get to Ba'al.

I wondered if Daniel had made it to the cells that held the villagers.

Was Karina there? Did she survive this nightmare?

I sent up a silent prayer to plead with god to give her a chance, so that she would be able to grow up with out the fear of the Gou'ald.

I checked my watch again and knew that Teal'c would be placing the charges to blow the ship. I hoped the Jaffa would follow him to safety. They were duped to believe that Ba'al was a god when in fact he was nothing but a man who prayed on the innocent with his lies.

We made our way to the next level and were stopped by two guards who were ready to sound the alarm.

My guide was ready to fight, but raised his hands and started to speak.

"Lord Ba'al is not a god, he fears Lord Anubis and if he bows to his power, then we are all doomed. You will be replaced by his drone soldiers. We are no longer an asset to the Gou'ald. We will be eliminated with out a second thought. Come my brothers, let us unite to rid ourselves of these false gods."

I looked at him and saw he was sincere in his words.

The guards had their weapons on us. I had not put down my weapon. I would be able to take one out, but I didn't know if I would be able to kill both.

They looked at me and the guard.

"He's telling you the truth. You've all heard the stories about the drone soldiers. They do not ask questions of their gods and do their bidding. You will be wiped out without a second thought. Come on, join us, we can help you."

They put down their weapons and said they would join our fight. They outstretched their arms and my guide shook each of them.

"We need to get to Lord Anubis' chamber. We need to get there quickly, we don't have much time. The ship will be destroyed. Go and tell our brothers that the time to rise up and join the rebel cause is now."

The agreed and said they would spread the word.

They showed us where to go.

I nodded and went with the guide to find the demon of my nightmares.

We came upon more Jaffa. Some cooperated, some didn't. I felt no remorse for those that did not follow us. They were given a chance and they decided to follow their false god.

The time was drawing near and we were close.

We were about to turn the corner when we heard footsteps behind us. We hid in a alcove and watched as Ba'al stormed past us, followed by two of his guards.

I closed my eyes. We had almost been caught. I had to focus I would not fail. My family was counting on me to avenge our team mate, our friend, our soul.

I waited till I did not hear any more footsteps down the corridor.

I motioned for my guide to see if it was clear. He went ahead and checked the hallway.

I moved closer and peered around the corner.

I saw two other Jaffa leaving the chamber as well as a woman that looked like she was Ba'al's servant. My guide came back. He had inquired as to why their lord was enraged.

The guards said they did not know but knew it had something to do with the new master.

They pulled him aside and informed him that Ba'al was inside with his first prime and another loyal guard.

They were loyal to our cause but the servant wasn't she was his lotar and was loyalties rest with her master.

"O'Neill they said it would be difficult to disarm the guards they know some of the guards do not believe we will be spared once the new master arrives. They are on their guard and would give their lives to ensure the safety of their god."

"Doesn't make any difference they will not stop me from completing my task. Let's move we don't have much time we have to get in their now."

"How are we going to get in? The door is impenetrable, only his trusted guards can access these doors."

I pulled out a grenade and said, "this is the only key I will need. He can't hide from me I will not be denied my revenge."

The guide nodded and went ahead.

I held the grenade this was the first step I would take in extracting my revenge. I looked at my watch and saw I had plenty of time to make the bastard beg and bleed for what he had done and beg he would. I would pour all of my anger, my hate, my disgust of what he had done to me before and what he had done to her in front of us.

I closed my eyes and imagined how he would react.

He would beg me not to kill him to spare his life.

I'd play with him, I'd ask him to offer me power, he would.

I'd ask him to beg for forgiveness he'd fall on his knees and do so.

I'd ask him to grant me anything I wanted. He would say yes to all of this.

As I pull out the knife he used to silence my heart I'd shout.

"Then give me back my life, my love, my Sam you son of a bitch!"

He'd know then that all was lost.

I'd slash his neck there and then like he did her and then turn him around to insert the knife for the final time. In the neck to kill the host.

I would then sit and wait for the ship to blow and for me to finally get to have my peace and my love.

"O'Neill?"

I looked up and the guide nodded to follow him to the chamber.

We stayed close to the wall we were almost to the door when I heard yelling and a crash. The guide stopped and motion for silence.

We heard him cursing a blue streak and one word stuck out.

Anubis.

The bastard was about to be handed his walking papers by his new master. He was upset that he had to serve another.

I gripped the grenade wondering what he would do when he saw me at his door wanting the revenge that I kept me going.

The shouting stopped.

The guide looked to me and I shrugged not knowing what was going on. The doors open and I scrambled back to my hiding place.

The guide was right behind me. We heard Ba'al say he did not want to be disturbed and only come get him when Anubis arrived.

This would be easier then I thought. We would get rid of the guards and then I would go after Ba'al.

I outlined what I wanted the guide to do and he went to talk to the guards.

I watched as he went up to the guards and asked to speak to his lord.

The guards said he was not to be disturbed.

The guide persisted on asking for an audience with Ba'al moving them slightly to the side I started to creep up on them when I heard a familiar voice cry out.

It was female and she sounded distressed. Was it one of the village women?

I had to get my mind to the task at hand.

I moved closer and heard some one yell out and a loud thud against the wall. The guards looked over and saw me.

One came towards me and he didn't stand a chance I needed to get through him to complete my mission.

He would die protecting the scum that had taken my heart away.

I was almost through with him when I heard her voice.

I twisted the guards neck and my knees went weak.

I grabbed onto the wall and knew I was losing my mind. The familiar voice was Sam's but she was dead.

I turned to see my guide stab the guard before he was zatted.

I pick up my P 90 and aim at my target when I hear her cry out for help. I am not going crazy it is her and she's in the room with that monster.

"Oh, god, please somebody, help me! Jack, oh god, Jack, please help take me away from here! Please don't let this animal rape me. Jack!"

My mind snapped.

She was alive and that bastard was about to rape her behind these closed doors.

NO! screamed in my head. Save her, you have to protect her from that bastard.

I reacted I fired my weapon killing the other guard pulled my guide to safety and pull the pin to the grenade.

The doors blasted open.

I had to save her. She was alive and I would do everything in my power to protect the woman that I loved.

I went in and nearly lost control. There was Sam naked about to be raped by this animal.

We looked into each others eyes. She was in shock but whispered my name before she passed out.

I had found my love and I would still get to kill this bastard for all the wrong he inflicted on us.

I moved towards him with one thought.

Revenge would be sweet.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you all for the great feedback, I appreciate it very much and I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Part 14

I hear her.

She is alive. I want to yell out my relief that my angel is not dead, that the bastard hasn't taken her from me.

But it is all washed away when I see what he is about to do.

Over my dead body is he ever going to rape her with me right here.

This is so not going to happen not to her. I have a chance to save her and I will do everything in my power to free her from this monster.

I hold his gaze and I can see fear.

The noise of the door blowing open and the sight of me here at the entrance seems to have unhinged him.

He looks for his guards and I motion, slicing my fingers across my neck to show him that no one will be here to save him.

I hear a whimper and my eyes are diverted to Sam. She is lying under the bastard, naked.

Naked?

Oh God, am I too late? I can't help it, for a second my concern and love wash over my face.

He takes that second and uses it to his advantage.

"She was exquisite, O'Neill. She cried out for more. She passed out from the sheer pleasure I gave her. She wanted more but I knew she would be weak after having me take her over and over again. I was too much for her to handle. She is mine. I have marked her as my beloved. Have you ever had the pleasure of taking her? I can see from your reaction that you have not. I will tell you this. She will never be satisfied by another, now that she has been taken by me. We are destined to be together for eternity."

My blood is boiling. I start to walk up to him, making sure he has no weapons. I see the ribbon device and I can feel the fury in me rise. He has used it on her. I know he has, there is no way she would have gone to him willingly. I see he is straddling her and I want to rip off the arm that lies so close to her breast. He starts to fondle her and I try not to look at Sam's face. I know she would not willingly do this. What has he done to her? What has he said? All of these questions are roaring through my mind and I want answers.

"She chose me, O'Neill. I gave her a choice of going back to her people or staying with me and after I showed her what I could give her, she chose me. She will make a beautiful queen. She will bear my children and we will rule the universe together."

I pray that she will stay unconscious. I don't want her to see me kill this animal with my bare hands. I am a cold blooded killer and he has touched someone I hold dear to my heart. He had put me through hell the first time I was tortured by him and now, this time, he has nearly killed me with his actions. He had taken my lifeline. When he had slit her throat, I had died too, in that very moment he had killed her.

But now it was his turn.

"You will die today, mark my words. Your army is dead or joining the rebel Jaffa. Your new master will be here to take over your holdings you'll be his lap dog, forced to do his bidding. You will not be missed. Hell, I might even get a pat on the back from Yu and the other System Lords. So how does it feel to have the tables turned on you?"

I've hit a nerve, I can tell and I'm about to go on when I hear a gasp, when I hear my name whispered.

She is suddenly awake and she is staring at me. Her tears are flowing freely.

I want to kill this son of a bitch and take her away from this mess. I want to hold her and tell her what I was denied the right to before.

She turns her head and screams when she realises Ba'al is still on her.

She starts to struggle and fight with him. She lands a hand across his face and his head snaps back. He punches her to her head and she stops. He is enraged and pulls the knife from his side.

"This time there will be no second chance for you!"

I react, launching myself at him and pulling him off Sam. I start to pummel him with my fists over and over again. I vent all of my anger at him. I think of the villagers he has killed, the pain he has caused me, the guys and my Sam.

I hear a moan and turn to see Sam looking at me. She has a trickle of blood coming from her mouth. I turn, but only in time to see Ba'al pull up the knife and stab it into my side.

I feel the knife dig deep into my skin. I stop and I can feel the knife being pulled back out. He tries to bury it deep inside me again but I force it out of his hand and it skitters across the floor.

I feel the blood starting to pour from my wound. The cut was deep and it takes all of my strength to not pass out. Ba'al pushes me off him and the tides turn.

He is on top of me, hitting me. I try to deflect the blows he is inflicting on me. I have to kill him and get Sam off this ship. Time is running out. I reach deep inside for the strength I need to kill him. I pull him down with all of my energy. We wrestle on the floor. I knock him around but he gives as good as he gets.

I am tiring as we get close to the knife again. He hits me in my side and the pain is overwhelming. I double over and let him go.

He grabs the knife and is about to stab me once more, when I hear, "No!"

Sam has gotten up and has jumped onto Ba'al's back, pulling him away from me and stunning him.

I have to help her. She is injured and he is just too damned strong for her.

He flings her off of his back and she falls next to me. She cries out.

I see him go after her. She sits up and scoots away from me, trying to draw his attention solely to her.

He stalks her and I have to get up and stop him from hurting her.

I get up and he's cornered her.

She looks so small and she cowers. He's laughing at her.

He won't be laughing for long.

He goes to grab for her and I grasp him from behind.

We fight and I yell at her to run, to get out of here, now.

She looks torn, not knowing what to do.

I yell out, "Get your ass out of this room, Major, that's a direct order!"

She snaps out of her stupor and is gone.

Ba'al is still struggling to get away. I pull him close and whisper, "You should have let me die when you had the chance." As I punch him in the side, I can hear him moan from the blow.

I do it over and over again. I know I don't have much time, the ships going to blow within the next 10 minutes. He finds my weak spot again.

He lands a blow and I go down, but not before dragging him down with me.

I had to shut him up. I tried but he got away and picked up the ribbon device.

This is it. I can't fight him with his toys. But I was warmed with the thought that I had saved Carter and she would get away.

"You are right, O'Neill. I should have killed you before. I will not make the samemistake this time."

I hear the humming of the hand device and wait for the pain.

I close my eyes, but nothing happens.

Then Ba'al yells out.

I look to see a knife protruding from the ribbon device and hear the sound of my P90.

I start to pass out, but hands are shaking me awake.

It's Sam. I don't want to smile, she has to get out of here now.

"You disobeyed my order, Carter."

She is crying and cradling my head in her lap.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I couldn't leave you behind. Write me up when we get out of here."

"Help me up. This whole ship is going to blow."

"Wait, Sir, the villagers…

"Daniel went to save them, they should be by the gate by now. Come on, we've got to go."

"Home, Sir?"

I look at her. She is bruised, battered and bloodied, but I think she has never looked lovelier, just because she is alive. Only then does it dawn on me that she is still naked. I turn away.

I get up and start to take off my shirt.

She starts to get up, "Are you hurt? I can bandage you up before we...oh, god!"

She falls forward towards me and I look up to see Ba'al, standing over her with the knife the same knife that he had used tokill her is now in the back.

I have her in my arms and a cry of ,"No!", takes over my brain.

He's laughing, saying that he's a god and gods always prevail.

I put her down and get up and yell.

"NO!"

I go after him. He has no shield, no defenses. I am going to kill him with my bare hands. I grab him by the neck with both hands, push him against the wall and he's struggling.

I can feel my strength returning. I will kill him and feel his life slip through my fingers. I don't care anymore.

I have failed.

She is dead.

I squeeze harder, feeling his body go limp and then letting him go.

I reach for the knife when I hear a whisper.

"Sir?"

She hasn't given up yet. She hasn't left me.

I whip my head around and immediately forget about Ba'al.

He is unimportant right now. Getting her off the ship and back to the SGC is my new mission.

"Carter, don't leave me. I have so much to tell you, promise me you'll fight. Sam, please!"

Her eyes shot open when I called her Sam. She smiled and nodded. I grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around her and was about to move out when I heard footsteps coming from outside the doorway.

I would save her and who ever was coming would not stop me.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks for the lovely feedback! So on to the next part!

part 15

* * *

They are coming.

I know that with the blast of the door, I had sounded the alarm and all hell would break loose. But I had never expected to find her behind the door. I had expected to kill the bastard. I had expected to wait for the ship to blow, or die trying to kill as many of Ba'al's followers as I could take with me.

I had made no plans to escape. I was to die here and wait to join my soulmate.

Hearing her call out my name was my undoing,

I thought it was an illusion. I thought I was imagining it, but no, she was alive. I had blown my way in, to see if I had truly lost my mind.

My heart began to beat again after I saw her. I wanted to touch her, to make sure she wasn't a mirage. But she was real. She was being attacked by that bastard, and I knew, just as he did when he realised that I was there, that he was a dead man.

God or no god he would not escape my wrath.

He was now dead.

I had killed him with my own bare hands.

I had gotten my revenge.

I had exacted it for her and myself. For the pain that the snakehead had caused her. For all of the past sins he had committed. He was dead and I felt no remorse.

Revenge was mine, but at what cost?

She's bleeding, I'm hurt and we are about to have visitors.

I can't think of my injury. She is my main priority right now. I have to keep her safe. I will have doc take care of me as soon as we walk through the gate.

She's depending on me. I will protect her with my life.

I pick her up and she groans as I move her to the back corner of the room.

I need to hide us and it will be a better place to make my last stand. I am determined to defend us till my very last breath.

She lets out another groan and I know I have hurt her.

I put her down. There is blood is on my hands. The wound has not stopped bleeding. I look to the door and wonder if I have time to tend to it.

I cut a piece of the sheet and make a bandage. I pray it's enough.

I'm finding it harder to breathe myself and check my wound. It's soaked through my vest. This is not a good sign, but it's also nothing I can worry about right now.

She wakes and asks what's happening. I tell her to stay still.

She's trying to stay focussed, but I can see she's still dazed by all that has gone on.

I look at the blood that is still flowing from her mouth. The bruise on her

cheek, the marks on her neck. I know she has been through hell and I wish I could bring the bastard back to life just to kill him again.

She tries to keep her eyes open but the blow to her head is calling her to sleep.

I need her to stay awake

I shake her to keep her with me. She looks at me and tries to speak.

I motion for her to be silent and point to the door.

She shifts into soldier mode and grabs my gun. I pull it back but she grasps my hand and squeezes it.

She knows we are in trouble.

I shake my head, no, but she insists.

I hand it to her. She smiles but I can see her wince as she tries to sit up. Her sheet is falling and I raise it for her.

She snaps back to attention, but I know it's a losing battle.

She whispers, "I'll be alright, Sir, just give me a few minutes."

Sir? That word is music to my ears. I hadn't realised, but in this situation, I had longed to hear it from her.

I rip a piece of the sheet and keep an ear out for the door. No one has come in yet and I hope no one does. I start to wipe the cut on her lip.

She tries to stop me but I insist. She's stops and is staring at me.

She's either a survivor, or a cat with 9 lives. She is here with me and I can't believe my luck.

My life had been given back to me. She is the reason I want to get off this ship. She is the reason I have a purpose again. She is the reason I want to live.

My heart is mending but the powers that be are not through screwing with our lives. I swear we have a dark cloud over us. But no more. I'll put in for retirement as soon as we get off this bucket of bolts and I'll let someone else carry the weight of the world. I am through. No more for me.

She's closing her eyes and I pick up her chin. She turns to the door to see if anyone is coming.

Why can it not be simple for us? Why do our lives always hang in the balance?

I hear more fighting in the hallway.

This might be it for us. If we don't get discovered, or we get pinned down, there is no way will have enough time to get to the rings and down to the planet, to go through the stargate.

I look at her, staring at the door, and stop. She looks over to Ba'al and can't hide the repulsion she feels.

She starts to shake and I grab her hand. I startle her as she looks up to me with tears.

I can't let another minute pass without telling her what I feel.

I have been given a second chance and I will not let her go on without telling her what I feel.

I caress her cheek. She looks surprised, but leans into my hand and closes her eyes. I start to whisper to her.

"Sam, I want to tell you."

She puts her finger to my mouth and shushes me.

I take her hand, and start again. She cups my chin with her hand.

"Not now Jack. This conversation will take place, but not here."

Her eyes start to well up as she caresses my face. She bites her

lip and I know she's hurting. She closes her eyes and whispers to me.

"I thought you were dead. He said he had killed all of you. He showed me they way he killed you and how you called out to me. I swear that my life ended in that moment. I was alone, with no hope of you coming to save me. He broke me."

The last is said in a whisper. Tears start to fall and I pull her into my arms and hold her, making sure I don't touch her wound.

"I'm here, Sam. Nothing and I mean nothing will keep us apart. We'll get

out of this and we will talk, I promise. I thought I'd lost you and I felt as lost as you did. We will survive this, Sam. You believe me, right?"

She nods and looks up. I wipe the tears from her face.

"We'll talk, only if you promise it will be at your cabin and only the two of us."

I give her my best smile say it's a date. She smiles back. We stare at each other and the moment is stopped when we hear voices outside.

Her eyes widen and I squeeze her hand.

I turn to see two Jaffa coming in and going to their god.

Their dead god.

I push her behind me.

I want to be the barrier between them and her.

I feel her hand on my shoulder. The Jaffa sound the alarm that their god is dead.

They still haven't spotted us.

We stay hidden but are soon discovered. I start to shoot and pull Sam behind a table that is little protection from a staff weapon. I wound one of the guards and Sam hands me my gun when I run out of ammunition. I'm trying to keep us safe and she's trying to stay with me.

I run out of bullets and wait to see if I have killed the remaining guard.

"You will not escape for killing my lord. You will be given to the new master and he will exact his revenge for killing one of his loyal followers."

Anubis, there is no way where we going to surrender to him!

I look at my watch and see we will have to stall.

"Your god was not a true god. He died at my hands, a mere man. If he was a god he would have killed me without any effort. Instead he lies by your feet and I am very much alive. There are no gods, they are parasites and live on your fear and your loyalty to them."

I peer over the table and see I've gotten through to him.

I raise my hands and stand. He points his staff weapon at me. I move away from the table. Maybe he thinks it's just me here.

"Come with me, you can fight for your freedom. The rebel Jaffa are all over the ship. They know what will happen when Anubis arrives. His super soldiers will wipe you all out. They do not need Jaffa any longer. Come, fight along side your brothers."

I start to move closer to him and see the conflict within him. I'm about to reach him when I hear Sam yell out my name in pain.

I turn to see another Jaffa. He has snuck behind me while his friend has kept me talking and now has Sam in his arms.

I feel a blow to my back and then to my knees. I am sprawled on the floor and Sam is thrown down, next to me.

"Jack? Oh god, Jack, don't leave me."

I hear her and open my eyes. She's being yanked away from me and I grab the guard's arm.

I punch his face and he stumbles back and falls. I pull her to me and move to the wall behind us.

She's limp in my arms. I check for a pulse and it's there. Her battle is over, better for her not to be awake for our deaths.

The other guard has us pinned against the wall.

I know this is it. I slide to the floor sit her on my lap and wait. I hold her close and whisper that I am sorry and that I love her.

Her head is on my shoulder and I kiss her lightly on the lips. I close my eyes and wait for the end.


	16. Chapter 16

Part 16

I'm holding my angel and awaiting our passage to the other side.

I'm tired and want to rest. I'm starting to feel numb. The guard is yelling out about how we will pay for our deeds.

I'm not listening anymore. I've tuned him out, only hearing Sam's breathing. I'm happy she's unconscious. To face death again, so soon, would have thrown her over the edge.

"My new lord will take all of the knowledge of the Tauri from both of you. He has arrived and will be boarding the ship momentarily. You will suffer ten fold for killing our god. I should kill you so that he does not have to suffer your presense."

I am sick of his banter. I roll my eyes and let him have it.

"Blah Blah Blah! Alright already, just get it over with! Skippy is dead. I killed him with no remorse and no regrets. You sound like a broken record, for cryin' out loud! You think you're so tough? Kill me, then!"

I'm goading him, trying to buy some time so that we aren't sent to Anubis' ship. He would revive us and I don't want her to go through that again. I'd kill us myself before I'd let that happen.

The other guard has regained consciousness and is infuriated. I lace my fingers through Sam's and feel the warmth there.

Soon, sweetie, soon this will be over and we will finally be together.

He comes straight at me. He is not a happy camper and yanks the staff weapon from the other's hand and points it at my chest. He moves it over to cover Sam as well.

He smiles. He wants me to cower, to beg for our lives, to plead with him to spare us.

Little does he know, he is about to join his god in hell.

"Beg for her life and I may make her my new slave. Your days of causing havoc to our gods are done. Beg for her life and I will spare her."

I smile at him.

"Bite me".

He lifts the staff weapon to my face and I close my eyes. My hand is still intertwined with Sam's and I move her closer to me. It will be quick and painless.

The staff weapon will make sure of it.

I wait and hear the weapon charge and feel her squeeze my hand. No Sam, please sleep baby, don't wake, it will be over soon.

I hear the weapons go off and feel nothing but a heavy weight on my chest.

I let out a groan. This is very uncomfortable and I'm finding it hard to breathe.

What did the moron do, miss us?

Oh, god, he shot Sam first!

I open my eyes, only to see the guard's face right in front of me. He's on top of me and Sam. I hear whimpering and know it's her. She's awake.

I struggle to move, but I can't get this gorilla off of us. I try to let go of her hand but she won't let me.

I'm about to panic when the weight is lifted away from of us.

I look up to see two more Jaffa and I pull Sam closer to me, to shield her from these guys.

She turns her head, gasps and buries her face into my shoulder. My arms go around her and I cover her as much as I can. The wound is still bleeding and I can see the goose bumps on her skin.

I'm about to ask if they are the cavalry when a deep voice booms through the room.

"O'Neill!"

Yup, the cavalry was here. The guards call out to Teal'c and put down their weapons.

I have never been so happy to see someone in my life. Well no, scratch that, seeing Sam still alive had topped this. I look down at her. She is unconscious again.

Teal'c is in front of me and falls to his knees.

He is as shocked as I had been to realize that Sam is still alive. He reaches out and touches her, making sure she is real and that she won't disappear, that she isn't an illusion.

"O'Neill," he whispers.

I look up at him and smile.

"She's alive, Teal'c! I couldn't believe it myself. I've been given my second chance and you've shown up just in time. We might just stand a chance now."

"Indeed".

He looks us over and sees Sam's wound.

The fury he feels is reflected on his face. His hand tightens on his staff weapon. He turns around to see Ba'al's body, then looks towards me.

"Is he the cause of this injury to MajorCarter?"

I nod and feel shame, knowing that I have failed my Jaffa friend, by not keeping her safe.

"Yeah, it was bad, but I think I got to her in time. I didn't know she was alive, Teal'c. I would have gotten here sooner if I did. As soon as I heard her call out my name, I lost it and blew the doors. I had to make sure I wasn't losing my mind."

He understood.

"If he was not already dead, I would slice him into pieces myself, O'Neill. I would tear him limb from limb for harming her again."

"It's over, T. He's dead. We got our revenge, he died at my hands and I have her back. That's all that matters now."

He nods and tells the guards to make sure the corridor is clear.

"We do not have much time, O'Neill. I was coming here to tell you I that I could not locate MajorCarter's body. It pained me to to think that she would not be returning with us to Earth, even though it would be in death. I did not know how to approach you about this matter, but when it was reported that Ba'al's chamber had been compromised, I came knowing you were seeking your rightful vengeance. I moved swiftly, attempting to arrive before you killed him, so that we could interrogate him to determine the location of MajorCarter's body."

I'm about to speak when Carter starts to thrash in my arms.

"No, get away from me! Jack, help me! No, no, don't touch me, oh god, please stop! Jack!"

Teal'c looks alarmed.

I hold her and whisper that she is safe, that I am here and no one is going to harm her.

She opens her eyes and smiles. She whispers to me. "Safe."

I push the hair from her forehead and give her a gentle kiss, replying softly. "Yes."

"We must go now, O'Neill, we have little time."

She turns to look over her shoulder and sees Teal'c. She reaches her hand out to him. Tears are threatening to fall. She's so fragile right now. She had thought she was alone and to find her family alive is overwhelming.

"Teal'c, it's so good to see you. I thought...I thought you were dead. I'm so happy you're okay."

He smiles, takes her hand and bows down.

"It is good to see you alive Samantha Carter. My heart was heavy with loss, thinking I had lost my sister. I am pleased to see that you live and we will once again fight side by side. We must now return to the SGC, so that Doctor Fraiser can tend to your injuries."

She squeezes his hand.

"Is Daniel alive too?" She mumbles as she turns back to use me as her pillow.

"Indeed he is."

She is almost asleep when she suddenly sits upright, letting out a groan.

"The villagers, they're down in the cells. We've got to get to them…"

"Please do not concern yourself, Major Carter. Daniel Jackson has already located them and has transported them down to the stargate. O'Neill, it is time for us to leave also."

She nods, whispers okay and slips back into unconsciousness.

"I will carry her, O'Neill."

"No, I've got her. You just make sure our path is clear and we have enough time to get off this ship and down to the gate. Anubis is here and we're running out of time."

He stands up and I try to follow, but the pain in my side is coming back. I let out a gasp and Teal'c turns around.

"Are you injured, O'Neill?"

I'm not going to have him worry about me. Our main objective is to get Sam off this ship, through the gate and into the hands of doc. My injuries can wait.

"No, just sore. Here, take Sam for a second and then give her back to me. I'll carry her, okay?"

Teal'c bows and takes Sam from me. As soon as she is in Teal'c arms, she starts to fight, hitting him with her fists and screaming. I get up too fast and the room starts to spin. I grab for the wall and stop myself from falling on my face. Sam has gotten loose from Teal'c and I grab for her. She swings out wildly and strikes me on the nose. I hold onto her arms before she does anymore damage to either of us.

"Sam! Stop it, now. Do you hear me, Major?"

Her eyes fly open and she sees me.

"Oh my god, I thought you were him and I...and I...I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me."

She starts to fall forward and I curse myself for hurting her. I pick her up, ignoring my pain and start to walk towards the door.

Teal'c shouts out orders and the others create a wall in front of us and one behind us. We will be escorted safely to the stargate.

I turn back, just once more, to see if the bastard is truly dead.

His carcass is staring sightlessly up at the ceiling, with blood trickling from his mouth. The urge to go over and kick him is overwhelming, but looking down at Sam, I know I won't do it.

He doesn't matter anymore.

We are alive.

He is dead.

He can no longer harm us.

"O'Neill, we have less then 6 minutes to get to the rings before the first charges detonate. Hopefully Daniel Jackson has started sending the others through."

"Yeah, lets hope spacemonkey has followed an order for once."

We stop and Teal'c goes to see what the delay is. We have no time to waste. I am about to call out to him, when blasts from staff weapons can be heard.

I fall to the floor, covering Sam.

It is over, almost before it begins. Our enemies are brought down.

Teal'c returns to help me up and says that it is clear to the rings, but that we should run.

"Run? Okay, stick by me. I might have to take you up on that offer, even though I don't think she'd be happy with it."

He nods and we start to run.

I am tiring quickly. But I have to do this, I have to get her to safety. 'Almost there' is my mantra.

We get to the rings and she wakes again.

She hears me panting and asks me to stop carrying her.

"Jack, put me down. I'm okay, we're almost there. Come on, Jack, please, just don't leave me, okay? Oh, and I remember everything we said, so you can't blame my injuries and say I was hallucinating. We still have to talk."

I chuckle and help her to her feet and she tries to stand on her own. Her legs are weak, so I put my arm around her waist.

The rings encircle us and we are on our way home.


	17. Chapter 17

Part 17

The rings disappear and we need to move now.

Teal'c tells us to run.

We have little time left to get off this planet before all hell breaks loose.

The ship's about to blow, Anubis might detect us on the planet and cut off our escape through the gate.

Hell, as far as we know he might already be ordering his troops to come after us.

We're almost home. We just need to get through the gate and all will be well.

She is here next to me. The guys are alive and we have survived yet another brush with death.

This brush is the closest I ever want to get to it. My mind tries to block out the image of her neck being sliced by that monster, but it will now be playing on the O'Neill greatest nightmares night time theater. Probably for as long as I live. I have seen a lot of bad in my life, but this has been beyond the compare of any of it. What I had felt. The despair of not being able to save her, the unbearable hurt that had vibrated throughout my entire body and the feeling of loneliness, knowing she would no longer be there to be my guide through this unforgiving maze called life.

"Jack?"

I snap out of my stupor, but don't answer. We have time for answers later.

We have a date to go on.

At my cabin.

I squeeze her hand and we continue to move.

I guide her towards the gate. She's still struggling but when I ask to carry her she shakes her head and points to her sheet.

There's blood and I panic.

She sees my expression and tells me that she knows it isn't hers.

Oh boy, I am so busted. The riot act should start soon. I look at her and try to smile and she shakes her head as we continue to move.

"You should have told me you were injured, Jack. You carried me all that way, why? You could have caused yourself more damage. I swear, as soon as we get back I am so going to let Janet know what you did. She's gonna have you locked up in the infirmary for weeks."

Teal'c hears what Sam is saying and is suddenly beside us, trying to help me with Carter, which I am grateful for. I'm starting to feel the effects of my injury.

They don't know how badly I've been hurt and when they find out they will not be happy.

I don't care, we're almost home and I can rest then.

Doc will definitely not get any complaints about me staying in the infirmary. I plan to sleep for a week.

The rebel Jaffa ahead of us signal that the gate is near.

I see Daniel helping the last of the villagers through to Earth.

Way to go, space monkey! He looks and waves. He is talking to Haras. He has Karina with him and she points at us and gets Daniel attention.

He turns, shakes his head and starts running towards us.

"Daniel," Sam whispers as I squeeze her hand.

"Almost home, almost home to all of those great drugs that makes you feel all fuzzy and warm inside."

"Yes, to our homes and to our date."

I don't get a chance to answer her. Daniel is pointing and I can't hear what he is saying

Teal'c sees this too and turns around.

"O'Neill!"

I don't have to turn around now, I can hear them coming.

"Aw crap! Teal'c, how close?"

Before he answers, the first wave of gliders have started to use us as target practice.

Trees are falling around us. I pull Sam with me and yell at Daniel to get to the gate.

The guards that came with us are firing but they are no match for the firepower of the gliders.

Daniel turns around and makes a run for the gate and we are right behind him, when I see the gliders coming back for round two.

The only cover is the trees on either side of us. The path to the stargate is too open. If we continue to the gate we will have no cover.

We'll be sitting targets.

They're bearing down on us. I yell at Daniel to head for the trees and see him take cover before the gliders fire.

I see one in our path and Teal'c points to the bushes at one side. I nod, but the glider is too fast. I see him firing and push Sam towards the trees, runing off in the other direction.

I hear her scream out my name and can't turn back. I have to draw fire away from her. Maybe he'll go after me, since I wasn't going for the cover of the bushes.

Since I was out in the open.

It is an insane idea, so against all of my training, but I have no other options now. The ship is about to blow and my mind is working on adrenaline alone.

It works. The glider swoops in to follow me and begins shooting. I zig-zag down the path, trying to avoid the ground that is being blown up in front of me.

I hear Sam calling out to me.

It hurts but I have to do this, I can't have her come so close to getting home and to help, only to see her die here.

She'll understand.

She has to.

I hear the sound of the horn signaling that Anubis' troops are coming.

The glider is coming in for another pass. I see Daniel pulling Sam, but she gets loose and is running towards me.

"Dammit Sam," I mutter to myself.

I need her to go the other way.

The gliders are coming back. For someone so smart she let her emotions rule her, which only would get her killed, but I am determined that today will not be that day.

I start running towards her, but suddenly I realize I could be too late to save her. The glider is right behind her. I wish that my legs were longer, so I could run faster, but know I might be too late.

Teal'c grabs her and brings her down before the glider starts to fire.

Thank god for Teal'c.

The gate is being fired on, they want to cut off our escape.

The gate deactivates and I'm losing hope.

The gate starts to spin. I try to get closer, but the cross fire from Anubis' guards and the rebel jaffa is stopping me from getting to her and home.

The gate is active and I wait to see who walks through. If it's Anubis' drones we are done for.

The sound of gunfire has never sounded sweeter to my ears. It's the SGC and they're coming in out of the gate, weapons at the ready.

I get up and come face to face with a drone.

Shit!

He lifts up his arm to fire and I dive to the side.

He is shot from behind and falls.

"Colonel, are you okay?"

I turn to see Reynolds who is crouching down to see if I'm hurt.

"Peachy, Reynolds, but we've got to get the hell outta here! That ship is seconds away from blowing."

Before the last word is spoken the sky is lit up like a fireworks display.

"You mean that ship, sir?"

He gets up and offers me a hand.

Everyone stops to see the ship explode, taking Anubis with it.

The drones look up and cease firing. Some fall to the floor.

The rebel Jaffa cheer, knowing they have defeated two gods.

I get up and start my search for Sam.

I know Teal'c will not let any harm come to her. She is on the ground.

I look around and stop.

Oh god no!

I see Teal'c on the ground, but he isn't moving.

I run and fall next to him. He is using his body as a shield. I see her hand under the mass that is T.

Daniel is calling out to me and I signal him over.

"Daniel, help me get Teal'c off of her."

Daniel is on his knees beside me.

"Jack?"

I look up at him and tell him again to help me get Teal'c off Sam.

"Jack, is it Sam? Is it really her? I thought I was hallucinating when I saw her walking towards the gate. Jack, how? We saw her die in front of us, we saw that bastard kill her."

He is frantic, but I need his help.

"Daniel, I need you here with me now. Okay? Come help me get T off of her, she's hurt. We've got to get her through the gate and home, that's our mission now. Do you understand me?"

He nods and starts to help me roll Teal'c onto his side. While he checks on Teal'c, I check on Sam.

"He's got a strong pulse, Jack. I think he just got the wind knocked out of him."

I wasn't listening. I was tending to Sam. She was unconscious again. God, angel, when will you ever stay awake for me? I check her pulse, and it is strong. I let out the breath of air I am holding and pull her into my lap.

I yell out for a medic. We have to get out of here.

My yelling stirs Sam.

Her eyes flutter open and she has a look of panic on her face.

"Hey, I'm here. You're safe, its over, we're on our way home, all of us."

She grips my hand and clings to me. She murmurs to me that she thought she had lost me, and that if I ever pull a stunt like that again, she will personally kill me herself.

I chuckle and whisper in her ear that she is starting to sound like a wife.

"If only," she mumbles and looks away.

I hear her and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face. Oh yeah, lots of talking up at the cabin alone, me, her, the fireplace and the fish!

I kiss her forehead.

Daniel yelps and we look up too see Teal'c, who is regaining consciousness and frantically calling out Sam's name. Daniel places a hand on his shoulder to reassure him that all is well.

She turns to them and smiles.

"Hi, guys."

Teal'c relaxes and Daniel is in tears.

Daniel rushes over to engulf her in his arms.

She is crying as well.

He is speaking softly. Telling her how devastated he was when he thought he had lost his sister, friend and team mate. That he thought his life had ended with her and how he had wanted so badly to save her.

Teal'c comes over and places a hand on my shoulder.

I look at Teal'c and he is smiling.

"Indeed this has become a great day."

I smile back.

"Indeed it has, big feller. Daniel, we don't want to add broken ribs to her already extensive list of injuries. There will be plenty of time for this later. Come on, let's go home."

I try to get up, but can't. I'm losing the battle of trying to pretend that my injury is not as bad as it looks. I can feel my energy draining and find it hard to even sit up.

Teal'c comes and offers me a hand up.

Sam is being helped by Daniel, but waits till I am up and grabs my hand, pulling me towards her.

"You don't have to be on guard any more, Jack. Our family will make sure we get home in one piece."

I smile, take her hand and bring it to my lips.

She gasps.

This is the first time I've allowed my emotions take over, leaving the soldier behind.

I am through after today. I will no longer be going through the gate. I will retire and ask my beautiful second in command what she is doing for the rest of her life.

I smile at my secret and she stares at me, curiously.

Before she can ask why I'm smiling so, I start to move to the gate with the help of Teal'c.

The rebel Jaffa are disposing of the drones with the zats, not wanting any of them to suddenly arise again. We are at the steps of the gate and Daniel lets Sam go to dial Earth.

To dial home.

Teal'c goes to talk to Lom'ec and Rist'ka, to ask them to come through the gate with us so that they can join the other rebel jaffa.

I walk over to Sam who is looking at the falling debris of the ship.

She has goose bumps and her lip is quivering. It's all hitting her now, everything she' s been through, the whole ordeal.

I'm about to touch her when I hear a scream.

"It is your fault my god is dead and now you will die as well. I will seek revenge for what you have taken from me."

I turn to see Ba'al's Lotar with a staff weapon, pointing at Sam. No one can stop her and Sam is backing up, raising her hands.

I have to save her. I have to get there in time.

I hear the staff weapon fire and feel numbness. I hear yelling, Sam screaming and other staff weapons going off.

I'm falling towards her. She is reaching out to catch me.

I have saved her.

I can die knowing I've done this one last good thing.

A trade.

My life for hers.

That is so very acceptable.

My angel will live and I have fulfilled my promise to get her home.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: thanks for the feedback it is appreciated and makes it worth writing this story. Thanks to Jean for the beta and the encouragement when I got stuck!

Okay on with the next part.

Part 18

* * *

This can't be happening.

I'm so surprised that she is here in front of me.

She is pointing a staff weapon at me, screaming that I have killed her god. I'm trying to focus and back away. I'm starting to slip into unconsciousness, so I guess that at least I won't I need to reason with her. There is no reason in her mind. She is blaming me for the death of her beloved.

The one thing that keeps repeating in my mind is why?

Why now?

Why, when we were so close to home, did this have to happen?

Why couldn't she see that the bastard was only using her?

Why did I have to die on this planet?

Why did my friends, my team, my Jack, have to suffer and fall to this last defeat?

I raise my hands but don't speak. I don't know what to do, but if I run others will be hurt. Rather it be me then Jack. I couldn't stand anything else happening to him. He had saved me and now I would sacrifice myself for him.

I see something move from the corner of my eye.

NO!

Oh God, no!

"Jack don't," my mind screams. But it's too late.

He's falling and I'm trying to catch him.

"No, Jack, please God no!"

I hear myself screaming out that I was prepared for the blast. I had been surprised by her but not by her actions.

I understood why she was doing it.

I had killed someone she loved. Someone she had devoted her life to.

Love?

Devotion?

She didn't know the meaning of love and never got the chance to understand what it was to be truly loved.

To have the warmth you got from feeling the love swell in your chest when he walked into a room, or when you were next to him sleeping, hearing him breathe and longing to hold him. Knowing your day was a little brighter as soon as he smiled for you and you alone.

She was too blind to see that Ba'al was only using her for his own needs. He was an animal, because no human could inflict the horrors he had on others. He took pleasure in making others suffer. He had no compassion or love for anyone but himself.

She merely wanted revenge for us taking away the one thing she had left.

In a way, I can't blame her. I had submitted to her God myself when I thought he had killed my family, when I had watched him break the man I love so painfully. I had sought revenge for the lives he had taken and for those he was yet to take.

She had died seeking this revenge, but had taken my life with her.

My reason for being is on top of me and he is not moving.

The truth is there through the wormhole. Our future is just steps away and now it has been taken from me.

I am in a haze. I don't have the strength to go on.

I don't want to go on.

I hear Daniel scream for a medic. Teal'c is ordering the jaffa surround us, to shield us from any further attacks.

I put my head on his chest and start to cry. I am startled to hear a faint heart beat. I pull at his vest and his now soaked T-shirt.

I place my head to his chest again, now with more purpose. I can hear it, I'm not just imagining it. We have to get him through the gate.

"Teal'c!"

He's by my side in seconds.

"He's still alive, help me get him through the gate to Janet. She'll save him. I know she will, she's done it before, please Teal'c. Daniel, help me!"

They pull him off me and Teal'c puts him over his shoulder. Daniel is there to help me up.

I grab for my love's hand and tug both Teal'c and him through the gate.

As soon as the coldness hits us I count the seconds till we are on the other side.

As soon as we hit the ramp we all yell out.

"Janet!"

"Janet!"

"DoctorFraiser!"

She's at the bottom of the ramp and rushes forward.

Teal'c puts him down awkwardly on the ramp and she starts to check for a pulse.

"Teal'c, lay him down flat."

"I cannot, DoctorFraiser, he has sustained a staff blast injury to his upper back."

She pulls off the vest and starts to bark out orders.

I'm sitting next to him. Daniel is hovering above me. I haven't let go of his hand. I'm whispering to him that he can't leave, that I would be lost without him, that now we are willing to take the next step, he has to fight to come back to me.

His hand is cold and limp.

I rub it and blow at it to warm it up. I cup his hand in mine.

"Janet, he's so cold. Do something, please, don't let him die, he can't die. He doesn't know how I feel. He has to live to hear me tell him I love him."

She isn't listening to me.

She is checking for a pulse and suddenly lets out a curse.

"We've lost the heartbeat. Teal'c, you're going to have to put him down. We have to get his heart started. Come on, Colonel, don't give up now."

Teal'c puts him down and stands back. One of the medics is trying to get around me.

I not moving and show him I won't.

Didn't he know I wasn't leaving him? That if I let him go, he might think I had given up on him and leave me.

"Sam, move! I need the medic's help."

Janet yells at me as she is cutting his shirt off.

Doesn't she understand I have to be by his side?

Daniel tries to pull me away, as does Teal'c. I started to fight them and tell them that I'm not leaving him, that I won't leave him, that he needs me.

The medic looks both at me and at Janet.

"I need help now! Teal'c, Daniel, get her away from here, she's being a hindrance. She's not listening to me. Get her off the ramp and down to the infirmary now!"

She is angry, but I don't care, I'm not leaving.

They try to lift me and I pull away.

"NO! You don't understand! He's the reason I'm alive. He's the reason I wasn't hit by the staff blast and he's the reason I wasn't raped by Ba'al. He's the reason that I held on. He's the last thing I saw when the life was draining out of me. He's the reason I get up in the morning. He's the reason I fight this stupid war. He's the reason I won't leave. Please, Janet, don't tell me to leave him. If he dies, I'll die with him. "

Everyone is staring at me. I don't care. I start to see blackness and shake my head. I feel a hand on my shoulder look up to see the General.

"Sam, let him go. They can't revive him if you're holding on. Come on, let Dr. Fraiser do her job."

I see Janet pumping Jack's chest and it finally dawns on me that I am stopping him from being seen too.

I let go and Daniel pulls me away.

Teal'c brings me a blanket and covers me.

The medics are helping Janet and she is asking for the paddles. She has put a rubber pad underneath him.

I close my eyes and turn away when I hear her yell out 'clear'.

I almost feel him move up and back down with the charge of the paddles and the whining of the machine. It still emits a continuous whine, no beats to indicate his heart is working.

This is my undoing. I want to stay by him. The noise is deafening, the whine unceasing, Janet yelling at the medic to turn it up to the next level.

I am pulled away, but whisper in protest.

I have to stay close to him.

I want to be here if my guardian angel leaves me.

I want to be here for our end.

The whine turns into a repeating beep and I look to him.

"We've got a pulse, let's move, people."

A gurney is pushed to up the ramp and he is placed on it.

Suddenly, the gurney is on the move, Janet walking quite fast to keep up with it, barking out orders and telling the medics to get the OR ready, to have the surgeon prepped.

She looks back as Teal'c picks me up and tries to place me on another gurney. I pull away and want to follow Jack.

She continues to shout, even as I watch them push the gurney through the doors, everyone making a wide path. "Teal'c, Daniel, keep her away, I need to have room to work! Sam, stay, do you hear me? Alright people, move!"

Teal'c picks me up and places me on the gurney.

The medic comes over and starts to take my pulse and check me over. He starts issuing orders to the others and begins to roll my gurney to the infirmary. He asks where I am hurt. I don't answer. I want to die.

I've killed Jack. I come to that conclusion as I realize the precious seconds I was arguing with Janet and the medics, could have been used to bring him back to life.

Daniel grabs my hand and whispers all will be well, that Jack has too much to live for to give up now.

I shake my head in disagreement and he frowns.

"If he dies its all my fault, Daniel, the blame should be placed on me. I stopped him from getting treatment, I was the cause of him being shot. I am to blame for his injuries from Ba'al. If I was just a little bit quicker, I would have killed that bastard myself, but instead I let him overpower me and take the knife away. I should have just let him have his way. It wouldn't have meant anything and Jack would have saved me. And he would be alive right now."

"Stop it! Sam, stop it now. You're not thinking right. Stop blaming yourself. You got him here, he's got a fighting chance. Janet will do everything in her power to bring him back."

I don't listen to him.

He's wrong, its all my fault. I've killed the man I love. He's dead and I'm alive, how ironic.

Alive, only to end up dying from a broken heart.

The black widow has struck again.

I'm slipping into numbness and I welcome it.

I'm in the infirmary and an IV is placed in my arm. I'm looking around for Jack. Teal'c is not around and Daniel is called over by the medic to ask what my injuries were.

My brain is not working.

The numbness is taking control. I'm looking around and I don't see him. I have to tell him that I love him. That's what my heart is crying out and suddenly my brain is listening.

I pull out the IV and start to walk to the door.

I don't make it far. Janet comes through the doors and is shocked.

"Dammit, Sam, what the hell was that back there? You were stopping me from doing my job!" She took in my appearance. "Why are you out of bed? Where did all that blood come from?"

I back away from her. Oh god, she is here to tell me he is dead.

I shake my head and start to whimper. If I don't hear it, then it isn't true. I back up, knocking over a tray and it crashes to the floor.

"You're here to tell me he's dead, aren't you. I killed him, it's all my fault. Oh god, I killed Jack."

Daniel is by my side, as is Teal'c.

I start to slide to the floor and Janet is checking me over. She looks at Daniel and Teal'c and speaks sharply. "Why didn't you two tell me she was injured as well? Dammit, she's losing a lot of blood, her pupils are not responding properly to the light. Did she sustain a head injury? Where did all this bruising come from? Hey, I need answers now."

Teal'c starts to answer her, saying he had come upon me and Jack in Ba'al's chamber and that he did not know if I had sustained a head injury.

"Janet, you're not here to tell me he's dead, are you? Janet, I didn't tell him. I waited too long and didn't tell him. He's alone, please let me go to him."

"No, Sam, he's not dead. We have one of the best burn surgeons attending him. It's going be a while, but I am to be notified if there are any changes. He will be very angry if we don't tend to you. Sam he called out to you and asked me if you were safe. So please let me tend to you. Its what he wants. Okay?"

I gasp. He's woken up. I close my eyes in relief.

I nod and Teal'c picks me up.

I am so tired. I want to sleep but Janet starts to ask about my injuries.

Daniel is next to me, holding my hand and Teal'c is standing guard at the foot of my bed.

"Sam, what happened offworld?."

I gaze at her and whisper, "I died, Janet."

She looks to Daniel, horrified.

He nods.

I can hear her hesitate and speak softly.

"Okay, you were revived in a sarcophagus by Ba'al, right?"

I nod.

"I woke up and was taken to holding cells with the villagers. I was trying to find the guys, but they weren't there. I saw the villagers and Karina. She said everything would be alright, now that I was there. Boy, was she wrong."

"Sam, what else happened?"

I told her how I was taken to see Ba'al, how he had handled me. How he showed me that my team was dead.

"He showed me Teal'c's staff weapon, Daniel's glasses, and Jack's cap. He then offered me the chance to be his next lotar."

Teal'c turned to me and Daniel squeezed my hand.

"I was stripped and put in this so called dress. Then I was drugged. I couldn't move, Janet, it paralyzed me. He came back and started to kiss me and touch me and.."

"I get the picture, Sam. Why don't you guys go outside for a few minutes, give us some space?"

Daniel glances at me and Janet. He understands.

"Sam, I'm going to be right here, on the other side of the curtain. Okay?"

I thank him.

"Sam, honey, you don't have to say anything other than yes or no, okay?"

"No, I'll tell you everything, just in case I don't get to later."

"Did he rape you, Sam?"

"No, he tried. He groped me and touched me in...places. He kissed me and also bit me. All the bruising on my face is from him. He threw me against the wall and slammed my head on the floor after I tried to kill him. He was about to rape me when I screamed out for Jack and he...he was just there. Janet, he saved me from my own worst nightmare. Ba'al had taken everything from me and I couldn't fight him any longer. Me, with all my training and brains. I couldn't stop him from raping me."

Tears are rolling down my cheeks. I am so tired and the wound on my back is causing me so much pain.

"Janet, the blood is from the knife wound to my back. It's getting harder for me to breathe."

"What knife wound? Oh, I'm going to kill that medic."

She pulls the blanket off me and curses.

"It's deep. How are you still standing? I swear you are going to be stuck here for weeks, do you hear me…"

She is stopped from her tirade by a nurse who flys through the doors and calls out her name in a frantic tone.

Janet goes to the nurse.

Daniel comes back and takes my hand.

It's my fault he's been injured. Ba'al and his sick mind, he had hurt my family so much and I still felt responsible.

"Daniel, he's dead."

"No Sam, he's not. There are a lot of the villagers. Some are hurt, they might need Janet for someone else."

He isn't a good liar.

I reach up and stroke his face. He winces and I apologize.

"I'm sorry Ba'al hurt you, Daniel, I'm sorry you had to witness me die in front of you. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell Jack that I loved him."

I turn away. My tears are back and I shed them freely. I don't care who knows anymore.

I love him.

But everyone had heard me expect him.

Daniel blurts out, "He knew! Sam, he did, honest. Ba'al didn't do this. Jack did. I said some hurtful things to him and he let me have it. They were about him and you. I told him you loved him and he was so shocked, but I stupidly went on to twist the knife, so to speak. I said he hid behind the military and that he had lost you because he was a selfish son of a bitch. He hit me, hard, but then he just stopped and it broke my heart when he whispered that you loved him. No, Sam. I deserve this, you are not to blame for my injuries, my mouth is."

He knows.

I call out for Janet.

I will fight to stay awake til I know he is alright.

"Pull the curtain, Daniel, or I swear I will get off this bed to find out Jack's condition."

He did just as another nurse ran in.

"Dr. Fraiser, we need you in the OR, stat! He's crashing and the Dr. needs your help to stop the bleeding."

I feel my world stop.

My heart turns cold and I know he is gone. I can feel it.

I let go of Daniel's hand and lie back down on the gurney.

Janet turns to me and to the nurse.

"Go, I"ll be there in a moment. Sam!"

I am letting the numbness take me away. I have stayed conscious long enough to know for sure what my heart is telling me.

My love is gone.

I let the darkness claim me as Janet starts to frantically attempt to get me to respond. My eyes close and I wait to see if he will be waiting for me on the other side.

I have nothing to live for now.

If Jack O'Neill is dead, then so am I.

I allow myself to slip away.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post but I got written into a corner. LOL but I think I figured it out. Thank you for all the wonderful feedback. This next part will start in Janet's POV. Enjoy

Part 19

* * *

They always warn you in medical school that you should emotionally detach yourself from your patients.  
It keeps you focused on what you need to do, without any distraction.

During my time at the SGC, I've failed to do this time and time again.  
They are more than patients to me, they are family.

Each year it gets more difficult not to care. But I will not let it show.  
I will never voice what I feel.

That sometimes I really hate my job.

I had tried, in the beginning, to be the detached doctor they wanted me to be, but the longer I'd worked there and the more had gotten to know each and every person that stepped through the infirmary doors, I could not just fix them up and show them the door. Not without caring about them.

It is something that I have learned to accept. Something I cannot change. We work in a stressful environment, one that binds us together. We all share a mission we need to accomplish for the good of our planet.

Here we only have each other.

I know their names, I know their families. I have let them into my heart.

Especially SG1.

They are my adopted brothers and sister, uncles and aunt to my daughter Cassie.

They are special, all in different ways and I feel I have failed them.

I hide in my office, afraid to go to the commissary and face anyone.

The questions are always the same and I am not in the frame of mind to answer any of them.

I am drained. This is the first time in the last 12 hours I've had a chance to sit and I try not to cry.

Colonel Jack O'Neill has barely survived extensive trauma surgery, and Major Samantha Carter has just come out of the emergency neurosurgery that was necessary when it became so horribly clear that she was suffering from intracranial swelling.

I cover my face with my hands and lean onto my desk.

I can't break down, not now and not here.

They want a miracle and are expecting me to perform it.

I look down at my hands and they are shaking. I feel numb as I try to regain my composure. I can't hide here all night, even though I wish I could.

I grab for the cup of coffee that has grown cold, but I don't care, I need it to distract me from thinking. Thinking of all the things I've done wrong. Things I should have done things that might have made the difference between life and death.

God, there are times I really hate my job.

Hate the doubts that always creep into my mind, hate the internal voice that yells at me, saying I should have done more.

I try to shut it out, but it won't work. The doubts start to escalate and I review my actions in my mind, to determine if there was something different I could have done.

There is a knock on my door and I stay silent. I can't bear to see anyone now.

I won't open the door. Maybe they'll go away.

I hear the footsteps leaving and let out the breath I am holding.

Did I do everything in my power to save them?

I go over the scenario over an over again.

I cringe now at the way I treated Sam.

Oh, Sam, can you ever forgive me?

I remember her leading Teal'c and the Colonel through the gate, Daniel right behind them.

The Colonel was unconscious and before they yelled out to me, I was already up the ramp.

He was in bad shape. Worse then I had expected.

I went into doctor mode I started to evaluate him and knew I had to get him to the OR ASAP.

I had not yet even seen his back.

I remember holding back the words that wanted to spill out.

I feared in my heart that I would not be able to save him.

Sam was talking, but I wasn't listening, I was intent on stabilizing the Colonel.

I hadn't noticed her condition, or the fact that she had refused to let go his hand.

I checked his pulse then his heart. I panicked. I had found no heartbeat and shouted at Teal'c to put him down, that I had to start compressions.

I had told the dying Colonel not to give up. I look back now and think I did it for myself, to make me work harder to save his life.

I had to bring him back, he had been through so much and he was a huge part of every single person's life here.

I was trying to get my team to help, but she refused to move. The nurses tried to pull her away and she'd snapped.

I should have known then that she was not in her right mind.

She confessed aloud everything that she had hidden deep in her heart, only letting me hear before when we were alone in my house, after a bottle of wine. My heart aches now when I remember her words, how lost she looked and how she was so sure if she let go of his hand, he would leave her.

The tears are threatening to fall again.

I've never told anyone how much of a toll this takes on me.

I've seen them all battle back from great odds, hell, I've even seen them die and comeback, but still it is heart wrenching to go through this. But I do. I have to. I am needed to perform miracles and I when I can, I always pull them through. Yet I know better than most that not everyone gets a happy ending.

I need air. I feel the walls are falling in on me and I don't understand why I can't do more.

I get up, needing to get out now. I need to breathe; I need to scream out how unfair this is. I need to cry in peace, without interruption.

I open the door and find Daniel sitting on the floor next to my door.

He looks up at me and gestures, asking me to sit next to him.

He looks so lost. I'd told him to get some rest. He didn't follow my orders, of this I am sure. He's still wearing the same clothes, with his and Sam's blood on it.

I sit down on the floor and he's staring straight ahead.

I reach out for his hand and he takes it. He leans close and I pull his head onto my shoulder.

He squeezes my hand and starts to talk.

"You asked me earlier how I got hurt. Jack did it. He beat the crap out of me when I told him he was a selfish son of a bitch for never telling Sam how he felt about her. That she loved him regardless of what he did. I deserved it, Janet, and more, for saying what I did. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was. I wanted him to break. I just didn't realize that watching her die in front of him had destroyed him inside, had taken away his only remaining reason for living. He never said a thing, not even after she died, not until I was so awful to him. They never had a chance to show how much they loved one another and I simply made it worse. I didn't support him at all, he needed me and I couldn't see past my own pain. I deserved this, Janet. I really deserved this and more."

"Oh, Daniel," I whisper.

I hadn't asked him how he had sustained his injuries, but it made sense now. Why he had refused assistance, why he didn't want treatment for the cuts and contusions smattering his face. I need to inform the General of the situation. I'm not about to lose someone else.

"Why, Janet?"

I bite my lip that is the question I'm avoiding.

I take a deep breath. He needs me and I will be here for him.

"I don't know Daniel. I wish I had the answers, but I don't, I'm sorry. I know it doesn't seem fair after everything they've been through, that they end up like this."

His shoulders start to shake and I know he is crying. I pull him into my arms and he holds on to me tightly. I speak to him, in soft tones, telling him to let it out, that it will be okay, that I am here for him.

He had broken down earlier. He had been a witness to Sam's death at the hands of Anubis, the Colonel's injury by the gate, the destruction that was brought down upon the villagers and it was too much for him. Daniel always was an advocate for peace and hated violence. This day would be burned into his mind for a long time.

I've always had a special place in my affections for him. He would always wait by the sides of his injured team-members until they woke. They in turn did the same, he was their Danny and he was special to all of us.

I start to weep as well. I need to cleanse my soul of all the doubts, all the 'what if's. I start to voice what I should have done, what I could have done better and my worries that I haven't tried hard enough to save them.

Daniel pulls away from me and cups my face.

"No, you did everything but breathe for them, Janet. You always give your best, you don't know how not to. You should be proud of your efforts, not here casting doubts on your own abilities as a hell of doctor. No, Janet, you have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be sorry for."

I close my eyes. I had wanted to hear this from someone for so long and it coming from Daniel, now, is exactly what I need to put my demons to rest.

He pulls me into his arms again and I feel warm and safe.

A hand is suddenly on my shoulder and I glance up.

Teal'c is looking down at me.

I gasp.

"What's wrong, Teal'c?"

"You are needed in the infirmary, Dr. Fraiser. Your staff was trying to contact you and I came to locate you."

Daniel gets up and helps me stand. We run to the infirmary.

The nurses are in a panic.

Sam's pressure is extremely low and her vitals are fading.

I drop back into doctor mode, barking orders and asking for the things I need to get her blood pressure back up.

I look over to Daniel and Teal'c. I don't have the heart to tell them to leave, but they see my look and move to a corner of the room where they won't be in the way.

I check her pupils and they are dilated and unresponsive.

My mind is racing. Come on, Sam, what's wrong? Don't do this! I don't think your body can go through a round of surgery, at least not today. Live, Sam, please! You've been through too much trauma in the last day already.

The monitors stop their erratic beating and go back to a normal rhythm.

I pull up the bedrail and hold on to it. I look down at my best friend and take her hand.

She had been through so much and the way I had treated her…

I remember leaving the colonel in capable hands and getting back to the infirmary, to find out exactly what had happened on the planet.

I came in to see Sam walking toward the doors looking around.

I was at the end of my tether with her and let her have it.

I stopped my tirade when I saw the blood. I'd frightened her with my shouting; she backed up and knocked over a tray. She wasn't thinking straight and the guys grabbed her before she fell to the ground.

I started to check her over and glared at Daniel and Teal'c, asking them why they hadn't told me she was injured.

She was becoming less coherent and I deduced that she must have sustained a head injury. I saw all of the blood she had lost and finally saw the injury to her back. I really got to see her and wondered where the hell all the bruising on her had come from.

I wanted answers, but they had few.

She asked me if I was there to tell her if he was dead. I couldn't tell her something that I knew would break her heart. In honesty, I didn't know if the Colonel would pull through, but I had to make her fight to because I couldn't bear to lose them both.

I then, to my shame, told her a lie. I told her he had awoken, asking after her, asking if she was safe. She had looked relieved and I went on to tell her that she needed to let me tend to her. She agreed and Teal'c put her on the bed.

I started to get some history on her injuries and wished that none of this had happened to her.

In hindsight, Daniel was right; it wasn't fair that they went through these horrors, only to find themselves in this new peril.

Looking down at my now unconscious friend, I feel the two remaining members of SG1 standing to each side of me, each of them grasping one of my hands.

I need their strength, support and love. Daniel lets go of my hand and puts his arm around my shoulder. I lean in to him and tell them she is stable and that the next 48 hours are crucial. If the swelling doesn't decrease they will have to go back operate again.

I look to each of them and I can feel the burden they are carrying. Not wanting her to suffer anymore and not wanting to give up hope.

We are startled from our stupor by the doors opening up and someone small running straight to Daniel with 2 SF's hot on her tail.

I gaze at Daniel who has picked her up and is now carrying her.

"Daniel! Please tell them I can stay, I need to talk to her! You promised! I've got to thank her for bringing back my poppa. Please do not let them take me back."

She is in tears even before she turns to see Sam. She cries out and asks if her angel will survive.

I walk over to the SF's and tell them I will be responsible for her. That I will personally take her back to the rooms the villagers are occupying. They agree to this and leave us.

"Thanks, Janet, I couldn't send her away. She was the one that told me that Sam was alive and I was so overjoyed to find out that she was I promised Karina she would be able to talk to her angel."

She thinks Sam is her angel. It almost brings tears to my eyes, because it is so appropriate, not just in the case of this little girl. She had brought the joy of my life to me. My Cassandra was a godsend and it was all due to Sam that she was alive at all. She guarded us then, guards us to this day, like an angel, from the evil of the world. She defends her team and loves them like brothers. Well, all except one, and he is more then special to her.

Teal'c pulls a chair over to Sam's bed and Daniel sits with Karina in his lap. I walk over to the other side and she starts to ask more questions.

I listen and tell her why Sam has not woken up, why she has a large dressing on her head and why it is still bleeding. She asks if she will live and I smile, trying not to choke up and tell her that I honestly do not know.

She ponders my answer and says, "She needs to be kissed like in the story they were telling us earlier. The prince comes to save the princess and all he does is kiss her and she wakes."

She looks at Daniel, then at Teal'c and starts to glance around. She jumps off Daniel's lap and goes over the other bed, pointing at the still figure lying there.

"That's her prince. He should kiss her."

She gestures at the Colonel.

It's heartbreaking. The young girl doesn't know how close to the reality of the matter she is.

None of us can speak; we are almost struck dumb by the simple truth in the words of a child.

The machines that are hooked up to them let out a macabre symphony, keeping them here in the land of the living, perhaps even as their spirits fight to let go and be free.

He is a fighter. He would wake, if only he knew that Sam is in this much danger.

He had come out of surgery with a 50/50 chance of surviving. He had lost lots of blood, but wasn't as critical as Sam.

He was weakened by the stab wound and the other injuries he had acquired trying to get home. He had been fighting for his life. For hers, too. Yet he only lies on that bed, now, due to point blank shot he had sustained. I am sure of it. Were it not for that final hit, I know that he would have disregarded his own injuries that he would be by her side now, willing her to wake up.

I turn away and try to hide the tear that slips down my cheek.

It all seems so simple, through the eyes of a child.

To a child, love conquers all. To us adults, we who know the cold hard facts of life, it is never as simple as it seems.

The little girl takes his hand and starts to whisper to him.

"Colonel Jack, you've got to get up. She needs you. She's hurt and you are too, but you're the only one that can save her. You've got to get up and kiss her, so that she will awake from her slumber like the story says. I need to tell her thank you. She's my angel and I knew she would not let my poppa die. So hurry up and get better, so Major Sam will wake up and we can all live happily ever after."

She waits, thinking he will just open his eyes, rise from the bed and do her bidding.

I see that Daniel and Teal'c are fighting a losing battle. Teal'c is making an effort to remain his stoic self, but I can see his lip quiver. Daniel tries to stop the tears from falling, but fails. He wipes them away with the back of his hand.

Daniel walks over to her and crouches down to her level.

"Karina, Colonel Jack is hurt as well. He's just resting and should be up in no time. We've just got to wait. Come on, let's get you back to your parents, they're probably worried sick."

Karina shook her head.

"I told them that I will not leave till she wakes up. They understand we are thankful to all of you for saving us from the demons. I don't want to leave till they wake. Is that okay, Daniel, can I stay?"

Daniel turns to look at me, as does Karina.

"May I please stay? I promise not to get in the way and I'll sleep on the chair, so I wont take up any space. Please, Doctor Janet, let me stay."

I can't refuse her. I nod and she smiles. She turns back to the Colonel's bed and picks up his hand.

"I'm here, Colonel Jack, Doctor Janet let me stay, so hurry up and get better."

Daniel is about to speak to Karina when the klaxons sound.

Karina's eyes open as wide as saucers. She scrunches down and holds on to Jack's hand. She hears the announcement and is unsure what to do.

I motion to Daniel to reassure her she is safe and ask Teal'c to see who is coming through the gate.

He hesitates.

"Teal'c, go ahead, it might be the Tok'ra."

He leaves to see who has come through.

I watch as Karina climbs up into Daniel's lap again. She has not let go of the Colonel's hand. Daniel is whispering to her that she is safe and that only good people are allowed to come through the gate.

She listens and nods.

"I wish I was as brave as Major Sam. She was scared, but didn't let anyone know. She was sad when she didn't see any of you with us. I saw her tears, but didn't make a sound when they came to take her away, I tried to stop them, Daniel, but they hurt me and my mommy. Major Sam made them sorry and hurt them back, but there were too many of them. They took her away and I thought she was gone forever."

My blood starts to boil. Those monsters hurt this child? Given the history of my own daughter, the mistreatment of children never fails to hurt me as well. I ask her where they had hurt her and she tells me that she has already been tended to by one of the nurses.

"She gave me a sweet thing to eat when she was done and a sticky picture which I saved. It is of a flower. I'm going to give it to Major Sam when she wakes."

Daniel murmurs that Sam will be happy to see her and that she'll appreciate the flower sticker when she wakes up. The girl smiles and goes back to caressing the Colonel's hand.

I move to check on Sam and as I do, Teal'c returns with Jacob Carter on his heels.

He stops at the foot of her bed and I see anger, concern and grief all written across his face. He grips the bed and I step towards him, taking his arm.

"Jacob, she's alive. They both are. They're hanging on, but I've done all I can. I don't know what else I can do. I've wracked my brain to think of something I might have missed, but I'm coming up blank."

Jacob turns his head to see the Colonel and the same emotions seem to wash over him again. He comes closer to Sam and takes her hand.

"Hey, Sammy, it's dad. I'm here, baby, I'm here and where going to bring you back. Okay? I know you can hear me, sweetie. Hang in there, don't leave me Sam, we've got so much still to do. I love you, sweetheart, just like everyone else in this room, hell, in this mountain. Hang on, Sammy, please don't let go."

He says the last in a strangled whisper. He closes his eyes, picks up her hand and kisses it.

He requests information from me and I give him a rundown of what had happened and what her injuries are.

I had seen his mouth tighten when I mention her death at the hands of Ba'al. He is incensed and suddenly curses, swearing he will kill the Goa'uld the next time he sees him. Teal'c says it will not be necessary, that the Colonel has already exacted a fitting revenge for her and her family. Jacob Carter acknowledges this and then I continue. I briefly tell him about the other incident that the contusions on her body indicate may have occurred. I am not going to hold anything back from him. He starts to mutter darkly in Goa'uld and his eyes flash in anger. Karina cringes back and Daniel reassures her that he is a good man, that he is Sam's father and that he is here to help her get better. Jacob turns, but it is Selmac who apologizes to her. In the way of a child, Karina trustingly takes Daniel's words on board immediately and is instantly in awe that Jacob Carter is a demon, but a good one.

He asks me to continue and I tell him about the CAT scan that revealed the swelling to her brain, due to the two head injuries she had apparently sustained. I also mention the loss of blood due to the stab wound.

Selmac then spoke to me.

"The surgery was needed to relieve pressure to the brain, is this correct, Doctor Fraiser?"

I nod and tell him her pressure was dangerously low at times, but that we have stabilized her and she is holding her own.

They then ask about the Colonel and I inform them of everything I know. Teal'c and Daniel fill in the blanks and he listens.

He lets go of Sam's hand and walks over to examine his burns to his back.

Jacob himself speaks next.

"He did this to save Sammy, didn't he?"

Daniel whispers yes, as does Teal'c.

He takes the injured officer's and leans close to his ear. I can barely hear what he says, but I think he is thanking the Colonel for saving his little girl's life.

Karina asks, "Can you help him? He needs to wake up, so he can kiss Major Sam, so she can wake up too, like in the story."

Jacob smiles down at her, as Daniel tries to explain, stumbling over his words. Jacob raises his hand to stop him from speaking.

"Daniel, I am not blind! I've seen them together and at first I was against this, but as I've gotten to know Jack, I realized he would never let anything hurt my daughter. That he is a better man then most of the men I've known. No, I agree, it is time they let down their guards and finally let themselves feel what they've been fighting for these long years."

I am speechless. Wait till he hears the confession Sam had blurted out in the gate room. Even now, I will let General Hammond inform him of that one!

"Dr. Fraiser, I can use the healing device on the Colonel, but I don't think it will do much good on Sam. Selmac is telling me it might be futile and as much as I want to help my little girl, I think she's right. I'm going to help Jack first, with the burns to his back and other injuries. I have faith in you Doc, that you've done everything in your power to save my little girl. She'll be alright, I know it. "

I bite my lip and nod at him.

I call out to one of the airmen to go and get the healing device.

They have a fighting chance now that Jacob is here. He will heal the Colonel and a small part of me clings onto Karina's childish hope that, when he wakes, he will wake my best friend with a kiss.

Right now, I am desperately holding on to my wish for their happy ever after.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: sorry its been a while between posting, my beta has been sick and RL has gotten in the way but I understand she's great. So here's the next part with two more in the wings waiting to be betaed so enjoy.

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part 20 

I can hear myself breathing.

I feel my chest move up and down. That's a good sign.

Breathing on my own with no help from machinery is a plus in my book.

It smells sterile and without opening my eyes I know I am in the infirmary.

The next thing I hear is machinery monitoring my heart beat and other stuff too complicated to think of.

My eyes will not cooperate, they don't want to open. Telling me it's still not time to wake.

I fight to regain consciousness, but it is futile.

I feel so tired but I'm sure there are things I need to do and as soon as my brain starts to function again it will tell me what they are.

I feel a hand holding mine.

It's small.

Carter?

Sam?

No, it's too small. I know what Sam's hand feels like and this isn't it. I need to open my eyes and see where Sam is. She should be by my side. It is an unwritten rule between us. We never leave each other's side when one of us is confined to the infirmary.

My mind is awake now, processing the last things that I can remember.

Sam screaming my name, Sam alive, Sam almost raped, Ba'al dead for almost raping Sam, Teal'c to the rescue, running to the gate, gliders almost stopping us, ship exploding and Sam in danger.

Sam in danger?

Oh no, that's why she isn't here! I failed, I didn't save her, that bitch shot her.

I need to wake up.

I need to find Sam. I need to make sure she's safe.

I hear the machines around me start to sound erratic. My heart is pounding and it shows.

The hand that's in mine is squeezing it and another hand is caressing my forehead.

Why won't this sleep let me go? I have to get up, I need to get up, but it won't let me open my eyes.

I moan out, but I only hear a whimper and then a gasp.

"Colonel Jack? Are you awake?"

I start to thrash. That's not Sam's voice, but it's familiar. I feel arms suddenly holding me down and I try to move them aside, but they are insistent.

I push out, but the tiny hand in mine refuses to let go.

I hear whispering in my ear.

"Please don't fight, Colonel Jack; we don't want you to be hurt again. Uncle Jacob just fixed you. You've got to stay calm, you've got to wake up. Come on, Colonel Jack, she needs you."

I stop.

Those last words are all I hear.

She needs you.

I take a deep breath and start to calm.

I feel pain all around me. My face aches, my chest feels heavy, but other than that I think I'm okay.

I hear familiar footsteps.

Those heels, belonging to a certain tiny doc, can be heard a mile away.

I hear her calling to me and it's a welcome sound. I hear more footsteps and I know it's Daniel and Teal'c.

"Colonel? Can you hear me? Come on, sir, I need you to open up your eyes, you have a very anxious young lady waiting for you!"

Young lady?

My eyes start to open and I feel the light attacking me. I scrunch them closed again and try to raise my hand to shield them.

I try again and they adjust. I look over to see Doc and Teal'c. I turn to my other side and see Daniel and Karina.

She's smiling at me and still has my hand in hers.

"You're awake! I know you would wake up soon, didn't I, Daniel? Now that you're awake, you can kiss Major Sam and wake her up and live happily ever after."

I stare at her, attempting to make sense of what she is saying and it dawns on me that she said 'wake her up'.

Oh god, she was hurt!

I try to get up and Doc tells me not to.

"Sam," I whisper.

Janet steps back and Teal'c pulls the curtain aside.

My heart breaks.

There she is, next to me, with tubes coming out of all places and her head bandaged heavily.

She looks bad.

I close my eyes and turn away.

I let out a ragged breath and I hold back the internal scream that is aching to be heard.

One thought is clear to me.

I have failed her.

Questions are racing through my mind. What had happened to leave her in that shape? What had that bastard done to her before I got to her?

Janet sees me start to tense up and she looks at Karina, then to Daniel.

"Karina, how about we go get Colonel Jack some Jell-o? That's his favorite and we want to make him better, right?"

I look at her and she smiles. She comes close and kisses me on my cheek.

"I'll be back, Colonel Jack, then I can tell you what you have to do. Uncle Jacob healed you and now it's your turn to heal Major Sam. So don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. I'm also going to tell my momma and poppa that you are awake. They will be so happy!"

I try to speak, but no words come out. She expects me to heal Sam?

When it was me that had failed her; that had not saved her in time that she is next to me with god knows how many tubes and machines attached to her because of me?

The little girl jumps off the chair and latches onto Daniel.

He moves close to me and whispers, "I'm glad you're awake too, Jack, I thought…"

"Danny, no, it's okay, really, go. I need to talk to doc."

He nods and Karina waves as she walks out the door.

I turn to Doc.

She is writing down stats and I grab her hand to get her attention.

She looks so tired. I wonder how much sleep she's gotten these past few days.

"Doc, what's wrong with her? Why is she all bandaged up, what happened?"

She takes a deep breath and recounts the events of the last couple of days.

I don't interrupt and don't move while she describes the surgeries we've both gone through. She tells me about my own near meeting with the big guy upstairs. She whispers about her failure to diagnose Sam, the two concussions that she had sustained and the procedure that was needed to relieve the pressure to her brain.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I should have paid closer attention to her, I should have known better with what she said in the gate room…"

She gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.

Teal'c is standing next to her and steadies her. I look at her and am about to ask what had been said in the gate room when I hear another voice.

"Janet, what did Sammy say in the gate room and why didn't you fill me in on it when I asked you the other day?"

I glance over to see Jacob trying to rise from a bed.

I am ashamed.

I have failed to keep his little girl alive and she is in that bed with a head injury because I could not keep her safe.

The guilt is all mine

I look down and find my hands very interesting.

It hits me that if Jacob is here, Sam should have been healed already.

I turn to him and Jacob looks so tired.

"Jacob, how long have you been here? Why haven't you healed Sam? Would somebody tell me what the hell is going on here?"

I am rapidly losing my temper, but then I realize.

He healed me first. I close my eyes in disbelief.

I hear Jacob getting out of his bed and coming to sit next to me.

"Janet, Teal'c, can I have a minute alone with Jack?"

They both leave and for a moment there is silence.

I look over to Sam. Why has he not healed her? Or can he not heal her? Is she so far gone that she cannot be restored to health?

I feel his hand on my shoulder and turn to face the father of the woman I love.

"Jack, I know you have a lot of questions but you've got to listen to me. I healed you first because it would have been futile to try and heal Sammy. She's had trauma to her brain and the healing device can only create so much of a miracle. Your burns were severe but healable. Selmac convinced me to heal you first. We trust Doctor Fraiser and if she says she has done all she can, that now we have to wait, I have faith that Sammy will get better. So stop blaming yourself for waking up. I know you well enough to know you don't think you deserve to be saved but we beg to differ. You're an important part of this program and you're important to all of us. Never forget that Jack."

I couldn't look at him. He was making me feel better but did he know I was to blame for Sam being in that bed, fighting for her life?

If he knew that, would he be as kind? Would he think I am as important? No, he deserves to know the truth and I deserve anything he dishes out to me as a result.

"You're wrong, Jacob. I don't deserve to be saved. You should have just let me be. I'm not worthy of your efforts. You should have saved her instead of me. I'm the reason she's in that bed, dammit!"

Jacob doesn't stir.

"Did you hear what I said? I am the reason your daughter is in a coma. I'm the reason she will never wake again. You know how I know she'll never wake? It's because I never get what I want. My luck is the worst and the one time I have something that is pure in my life, something that I can actually pin my hopes on, it gets taken from me. First my son, then my marriage and now her! God I wish I had the guts to have pulled that trigger all those years ago and maybe then she wouldn't be here!"

I have to make him hate me. I have to show him that I am not worthy of his help. All he did was ask me to watch out for his daughter and I have failed him. He should see what a mistake I am, that I'm nothing but a screw up. He should have had Hammond transfer her out of my team long ago, to someone that would have done everything in his power to keep her safe.

I turn away from him.

"I'm truly sorry, Jacob. I wish it was me instead of her. I failed her twice. I couldn't save her from Ba'al and I couldn't bring her home safe and sound. I failed her as a friend and as her CO. I don't deserve to lead a team any longer. I'll resign and get out of this before I finally kill someone."

Jacob stands and comes round to the side of the bed I am turned towards.

"Are you through with the self-pity? Are you through beating yourself up? Well if not, get it out of your system. I need you to be thinking straight when I talk to you and you will listen so that we will get this resolved."

He grips my arm and I stare at him. I'm genuinely pissed that he is not upset for my part in Sam's condition. He lets go, sits down in the chair next to me and begins to speak.

"I know you did everything in your power to keep my Sammy safe. How do I know this? Firstly, because you don't know any other way, Jack. I heard what happened in the compound. You had to witness that bastard kill her, in cold blood, in front of you. The same bastard that put you through hell, you knew what it was like to die at his hands, Jack. You knew there was nothing any of you could do. I'm sorry you went through that. Secondly, I was told how you saved her from being…from being attacked by him. It must have been a shock to have seen her since you thought she was dead. She called out to you to save her because she knew deep in her heart you were the only one that could."

I want to turn away, I don't want to hear this, I don't want to hear how I have failed her.

"Leave, Jacob. I don't want to see anyone. I want to be left alone. Wait, I need a sheet a paper, can you get that for me? I want to resign for not doing my job."

"You selfish son of a bitch! Can't you see you saved her! She would have been dead if that staff blast had hit her or if you hadn't bought time so that Teal'c could have saved both of you. Jack, I don't put any blame on you. I can't and you can't make me. You did all you could, you're not a super hero, even though it seems at times you are. Stop blaming yourself, you brought her home, she's alive and all we have to do is wait. She'll wake. I know she will. Just knowing you're alive will bring my baby back home."

Jacob doesnn't know that god loves to torment me.

That if I wanted Sam to live I will have to distance myself from her I am nothing but a curse to those I care for.

I am bad.

I am not worthy to be in the same room as my angel. I'm a tortured soul, destined to walk the earth alone, with the burden of all my past deeds and this is the wake up call that I need to step back.

I'm so tired of all of this. I want to be left alone. Everything will be okay if they just leave me alone.

All I am is trouble and my bad luck has spilt over to Carter. Not Sam any longer, Carter. The more distance I put between us the better. She doesn't need me. All I am is a loser and a loner.

I so wish that I had pulled that trigger, all those years ago.

Doc comes back and Teal'c follows. Daniel has also come back, without Karina.

I close my eyes, trying not to see the blame I know is in all of their eyes. I am the reason for their pain.

I lash out.

"Go away, all of you. I don't want to see any of you, I want to be left alone. I don't want to hear the accusations. The blame all falls on me. I am the reason she is there. You were right, Daniel, I am one selfish son of a bitch and if I would have just stayed away she would be safe, you would not have been brought back, Sha're would have lived to give you sons and daughters and Teal'c would never have…"

"Never have what, Jack? Left his service to Appohis? Been a huge part of the rebellion to free his people? What about me? General Hammond would have sent a bomb thru the gate to Abydos and killed me and everyone you cared about there. Shar'e would have been dead, as would I. Jacob would never have lived hadn't it been for us going through the gate. Cassie would have died alone on that planet, or worse, been a lab rat for Nitri. Sam would have …"

"Stayed away from the Stargate program, married a normal guy, had a normal life, hell even had a chance to go to space with NASA. She would have been able to bear children and live a long life."

Jacob came closer to me and whispered.

"What about me, Jack? I would have been dead. Me and my little girl would never had the chance to reconcile. She would blame herself for not trying and I would have died alone. Earth would have been invaded by Apohis or worse overrun by another Goa'uld. Stop it, Jack, you're not going to win this argument."

"Would you people just leave me alone?"

I'm at the end of my tether, why can't they understand I don't want their help? I want them to hate me as much as I hate myself for bringing this misery to her.

Janet moves forward and tells them that I need my rest and that they should leave me alone.

I could kiss her for understanding. Yet she blames me, I can tell. Which is good. 1 down, 3 to go.

Teal'c helps Jacob to his bed. Talking to me has wiped him out. I bet he wishes he'd never helped me now that the truth is out.

Daniel waits and I'm sick of him looking to me for answers. The bruising on his face is starting to fade. It's turned yellow and purple.

"Jack, stop beating yourself up she'll get better, you'll see. We don't blame you."

"That's just peachy, because I am to blame and once you people understand this you'll see I am not worth the effort to save. You should have let me die!"

I pick up the tray next to me and throw it across the room.

Doc gasps and Daniel jumps out of the way as it crashes against the wall by the door.

Karina screams, dropping the jell-o she's carrying and runs out of the infirmary.

"You really are a bastard at times, Jack", Daniel yells out as he runs after Karina.

I feel ashamed. I didn't want to hurt her but I had. I am a bastard.

I close my eyes and know Doc hasn't moved. Teal'c steps up, next to me and whispers in my ear.

"As much as you want to shut us out, O'Neill, it will not come to pass. We all have a bond that no words or hatred can sever. I am not proud of your behavior today, but I understand the anger you carry for not protecting Major Carter. I ask that you abstain from this tactic as it will not end well. I will not leave your side as you are my brother and I stand by you, no matter what you will say."

I turn to him.

"Leave me alone. If you're my brother then do this one last thing."

"I am sorry, O'Neill, this order I can not follow."

He leaves to find Daniel but promises to be back.

I look over at doc.

"Well, what do you have to say? I'm a Colonel, you're a Major. If I order you to leave me alone you have to do it. So leave me alone, have Dr. Warner treat me and get me the hell out of here!"

I can see the anger in her eyes. She wants to hit me, I can tell. She yanks my arm to her and takes my pulse.

"I don't have to remind you, Sir, that in the infirmary I am in charge. If you want to give me any trouble I will be more than happy to inform General Hammond of your request. Which we both know will be denied. Now stop acting like a child. Oh, and if you ever throw anything else in my infirmary, I will personally pull out all of the needles from hell that you haven't had the pleasure meeting yet. Do we understand each other?"

She's shaking as the words come out of her mouth.

I feel bad that I have hurt her. She'll be there to talk me out of my nightmares. Her voice was always my beacon to guide me back to the land of light. Doc was always the one that would fix us when we were broken. She is a friend to me and Sam

Sam.

I turn to look at her and I wonder if she will ever forgive me for failing her.

I can't hide what I feel any longer.

She squeezes my hand and I lose it.

"Why, Janet?"

She whispers back, "I don't know, Colonel, I wish I had the answers. I don't, but know this. She blamed herself for failing you. She would not let go of your hand on the ramp when Teal'c carried you through the stargate. She confessed some pretty personal things, but wasn't thinking or she wouldn't have said a lot of what she did. I should be the one apologizing, Sir. I didn't recognize that something was wrong with her. I was too concerned with you. I totally missed Sam's injuries. So if anyone is to blame for her condition it's me. I blew it. I put my friend in a coma."

She hangs her head down and her shoulders are shaking. I fight to get up close to her and pull her into a hug, making sure I don't pull out the IV that is in my hand as I try to soothe her. She grips me and whispers how she should have done this or done that and that the swelling could have been contained if she had done something sooner. I think she is just in shock due to what had happened, but then she goes on to tell me what Sam had recounted to her of her time with Ba'al.

The bile comes back and the urge to throw up is there. She pulls out of my hug and wipes the tears from her face.

"I'm glad the bastard is dead. He caused enough pain and suffering to the people I care about. If he wasn't, then I would have no problem going through that gate and exact revenge for the hurt he has caused myself."

I believe her. She would have gone through that gate and hunted Ba'al down for what he had done. Of this I am sure.

"Are you through with your tantrum? Are you going to stop pushing us away? We're not going anywhere, you're stuck with us. Sir she needs you now. Right before she lost consciousness she thought we had lost you. It was like she lost the will to fight. In her mind if you were gone, then what was the point of her living or waking? Please, Sir, you think you failed her? If you push us away, then you have failed her. So please don't shut us out."

What is she saying?

"Doc, what are you saying? She thought I was dead? Oh no. She's not responding, is she?"

Doc shakes her head, sadly.

"The swelling has gone, down but she is not responding to anything. We've tried talking to her, but she isn't responding. So do you understand now why we need you to help? Don't do it for us. Do it for her."

_It's no use. I'm not going to be thrown by the wayside. My family will not allow it._

I squeeze her hand and she asks me to get some rest. She is about to pull the curtain when I ask her not to.

"I just want to keep an eye on her, if that's okay?"

She smiles and says she'll be right back. She needed to inform General Hammond that I'm awake.

I cover my face and feel my age creeping into my bones.

I'm so tired, but can't rest 'til she is awake.

_I remembered everything I wanted to do after we got home. I was going to finally tell her what I had wanted to tell her that day we were separated by the force field. What I wanted to make her understand as she was dying literally in front of me during the Niirti fiasco._

_There's no denying it. I'm in love with Samantha Carter and some twist of fate had brought her back to me, only to be taken away._

_I long to go to her. Gather her in my arms and tell her I am here, that I will not let any other harm come to her. I want to plead with her to wake up. Tell her that she is needed by the SGC. Oh, who am I kidding? I need her. I want her to be well again. I want to see those blue eyes sparkle and that smile shine again._

_I want her._

_I stare at her. She is so fragile, as fragile as my heart._

_Would I be able to go on if she were to be taken from me?_

_My Angel, I would give you all that is in me. I would trade places with you. I would never leave you. My angel, I would wait forever._

_I never want to be alone again. She is my heart and my soul. _

_Will I be strong enough to bring her back to me?_

"_Jack, are you awake?"_

_Ah crap, my angel's father is next to me and I had forgotten. And I've been speaking out loud._

_What can I say? Oops or maybe claim an alien virus has taken over my rationality._

I turn to the other bed.

"How much of that did you hear, Jacob?"

Jacob is facing me. Lying on the bed, he shifts the pillow and makes himself comfortable.

"Enough. So are we back to 'reasonable Jack O'Neill'? Because 'bastard Jack O'Neill' is someone I don't like very much and I can still kick his ass."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, Jacob. I hate him as well, he's an ass, but he usually gets surpassed by 'self-pity Jack O'Neill' or 'self-destructing Jack O'Neill'."

Jacob snorts.

"Yeah, I know them well, Jack, met them once. They take over, then there is no stopping them. They don't care who they hurt and it's hard to mend the fences once they take over"

I look at the door and moan.

"Yeah, I know. I screwed up, Jacob. I scared that poor little girl and all she was doing was helping. Danny is right, I am a bastard."

"I have a couple of choice words for you too, but I'm too tired to fling them at you. God Jack, you're imploding. How they put up with you I'll never know and how my daughter ever fell in love with you is a mystery to me."

I'm about to answer when what he has just said hits me.

Fell in love with me?

Oh boy, he knows? Who told him? Ah crap, I am in for it now.

I open my mouth and close it.

I stare up at the ceiling and don't say a word. Maybe he'll fall asleep.

"Jack? Don't hide now. I need to know. I need to know if you're in love my daughter?"

God, this is not the way this was supposed to go down. We were supposed to go to the cabin talk and plan what was going to happen.

She would have the honor of telling her father that we were a couple while I was away on a planet millions of light years away.

"I'm waiting, Jack."

I need to lay my cards on the table. I respect Jacob just as much as General Hammond and he is very important to Sam.

But maybe I can still distract him.

"I'm here, Jacob. I'm sorry for not thanking you for saving my life. But, isn't there something you could do for her?"

He closes his eyes and I can tell this is hurting him.

"I'm sorry, Jack, the best we could do is to get her to the Tok'ra base where she would receive a new symbiote. I know how difficult it would be for her to go through that. I wouldn't do it, even though I'm a host myself, because I know the after effects she had with Jolinar. But that isn't the question I asked, Jack. I know this is something you're not comfortable with, but I know what I see and I remember myself and how I acted around Sam's mother. I know she's so easy to love and I only want her to be happy. So, Jack, do you love my daughter?"

He isn't going to let this drop.

"Jacob, this is something I don't think we should talk about. Ah hell, I haven't even got to talk to your daughter about it. She might have changed her mind. She might have just strung me along, no that didn't sound right. Oh god, can I just go back to sleep?"

Jacob chuckles.

"I understand, Jack. I wont pry, but know this. I think you are unique person and I admire you for what you have accomplished. You are not the bastard you think you are. You are a battered soul that thinks he deserves less. You're a protector, one that puts his life on the line for others. You value their lives more than you value your own. In reality, Jack, you need her to protect you and I know for damn sure she would not let anything happen to you. That is a quality I admire about you and that she has learned from you. You two complement each other and she would be lucky to have you in her life."

I look at Sam and back to Jacob.

"No, Jacob, I am the lucky one, she is my reason for living. I feel at peace with her. She is my soul and when I saw her die, I died with her. I was going to kill the bastard and die on the ship. I had no reason to return. I gave up. I'll tell you this. I care deeply for her. I promised myself on that planet that if I got her home I would give this all up. I would retire and would beg her to marry me. I don't want anymore time to pass. We've wasted too much of it fighting this. So yes, Jacob, I do love your daughter. I am going to ask her to marry me and I'm now asking if that would be okay with you."

I wait. I have opened my heart to him and finally admitted what I had wanted to for so long.

He gets up, comes to my bed, takes my arm and then my hand.

"Jack, the three things that are the most difficult to say are; I'm sorry, Help me and I love you. You've said them all to me and you are no less a man for it. I would be proud to call you son Jack. You are older, but I think Sammy needs that stability in her life. You make her happy, I see that, as does everyone else. You have never caused me to question your intentions before, because I knew you would rather die then ruin Sam's career. I will talk to George and anyone else that needs to listen. I don't think they want to lose two of their premier officers. Let me worry about that, you worry about getting her to wake up. Doctor Fraiser is right. She needs to know you are here and waiting for her."

I cover his hand with mine.

" I respect you, Jacob, and I would never harm her. I would rather die than have any harm come to her. I'll never leave her, she'll be stuck with me for all eternity. I'll be there to love and support her. On this you have my word."

"I have no doubt and if you ever do screw up, you'll have half the galaxy and all of the SGC on your ass. I wouldn't even have anything left to kick."

I snort and smile. We understand one another. I have my angel's father's approval.

"Get some rest, you looked wiped out. We'll try later to heal the rest of your wounds. Get some shut eye, son."

He looks at me and says no more.

I turn to look at her, smile and whisper. "Soon."

I sleep, but in my dreams are the memories of what had happened. I start to thrash and moan out loud. She is in danger and I can't save her.

"Shhh, Colonel Jack, it's okay, I'm here. It's not real, you're safe."

I hear her voice. I grab her hand and she gasps. I open my eyes and she has her chin to her chest. She is shaking and trying to pry her hand from mine.

"I'm sorry, you were calling out Major Sam's name and moving. I'm sorry to have disturbed you, if you let me go, I won't bother you again."

My heart breaks. She thinks I am angry with her. I pick up her chin and she has her eyes closed, but that doesn't stop the stream of tears that are falling down her face.

"Karina, can you ever forgive me for scaring you? I am the one that's sorry, after you went through all that trouble to bring me jell-o. No sweetheart, I deserve to be hurt, I don't deserve you to care for me. Please forgive me, I was lashing out at the wrong person."

She opens her eyes and shakes her head.

"No, Colonel Jack, it's my fault. I only wanted to get Major Sam better and was only thinking of myself when I insisted you wake up. If you don't want to kiss her, that's okay but, I have to wake her somehow. I have to thank her for saving my daddy."

What? Kiss her?

"You want me to kiss Major Sam? Why, Karina?"

She looks down again and whispers, "It was a stupid story. I should have known better. A kiss won't make things better. But I kissed you and you woke up. But when I kissed her she didn't move. Colonel Jack, does it only work one time?"

Everything is falling into place.

"Karina, look at me."

She looks up and I wipe the tears from her face. I pull her to my chest and she starts to cry, telling me about the story of the princess that was asleep and how the prince kissed her and woke her up and they lived happily ever after.

"I wanted you to kiss Major Sam, Colonel Jack. You're her prince and the longer she sleeps, the harder it's going to be to wake her up. I heard Doctor Janet and Doctor Daniel talking and it made them both very sad. They say she doesn't want to wake up. I know it's because of you, she thinks your still asleep and is waiting for you to come and wake her. Will you kiss her?"

"I'll do my best, Karina, as soon as I'm able I'll give her that kiss. But in the meantime do you mind holding my hand? That's usually Major Sam's job, but she's can't, so can you do that?"

She sits up and smiles. Takes my hand and tucks it under her chin. She leans back and asks me if I want to hear the story of the prince and the sleeping princess.

I whisper yes and she starts to weave her tale. I start to doze off and imagine my princess asleep and me waking her with a kiss.

In a child's mind anything is possible.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: Thank you all for your great feedback, bookworm37 your right about the category this storywas going one way but I couldn't find it in my heart to fullfill it and the beginning chapts were towards the tragedy/angst part but if I do change the categories it might upset some that haven't read it So the rest of this fic is romance/happily ever after category (don't think they have one on fanfic) lol thanks again for reading and drop me a line whether you like it or not.

Thanks to feb04, froggy0219,Zeilfanaat, Revvie S for stickingit out and the wonderful feedback thanks y'all.Stargatefan, maggie eaton, SA, Sid Su Frued, LCTCmy fellow As the stargate turns pals thanks for the kind words and encouragement (cough) Nagging trish) Special thanks to Jean. Thanks hen for the beta and helping hand when I got stuck you're the best!

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Part 21

I am at the cabin and Sam is there with me, asleep on the hammock by the dock.

I'm watching her sleep. She is smiling and I just sit with my fishing pole, watching her breathing.

I could do this for hours.

She looks so young and no worries can be seen on her face. The weight of the world lies elsewhere for this brief moment.

I get up and as I step closer the urge to kiss her is unbearable.

I lean down and move the hair from her forehead. She scrunches her face and I try not to chuckle.

I come so close to kissing her when I hear whispering.

"Shh, you'll wake Colonel Jack. He needs his rest. So go away and come back later."

My eyes snap open and I'm staring at General Hammond, who is smiling at Karina.

He looks at me and his facial expression changes. His face is turning red and I know it is all directed at me.

Oh boy. I'd seen that look once before and I know I am in big trouble.

I close my eyes and he clears his throat.

"Colonel, I know you're awake, so stop pretending that you're not. We have some things to discuss and I mean now!"

I open my eyes again and try to smile, but know it is of no use when he folds his arms in front of him.

Karina sees the change and stands up on the bed between me and the General.

"Uncle George, I don't want you to be mad at Colonel Jack. He just woke up and is only feeling a little better and if you get him upset he won't get better. So I can't have you do this. Can you please leave and come back when you're not so mad at him? It's not his fault, really, he was angry that Major Sam was hurt and he blames himself for it. We've been telling him its not his fault, but he says it is and then he sent me to get him some jello to make him feel better and when I came back I heard him yelling at Daniel, uncle Jacob and doctor Janet. He's sorry for yelling at them and throwing the tray across the room. He told me. He said he was sorry for frightening me. You see I was afraid and left but I came back because I knew he was just hurt thinking Major Sam wouldn't wake up. But he didn't know that she just needed to be…."

I pull Karina down and onto my chest before she lets the cat out of the bag.

Telling everyone around us about the story was fine. Telling my commanding officer that she expects me to kiss my second in command to wake her up is a totally different situation.

General Hammond gives me a look and I shrug.

"Kids, even ones from other planets, they're all the same, General. I told Daniel she is like a sponge, she absorbs everything around her."

He nods and I whisper to Karina not to say anything about the kiss.

She looks at me and whispers. "Why? It's nothing bad, Colonel Jack. It's done all the time by my momma and poppa. So it can't be wrong."

She is digging me deeper into the hole, but I can't be angry at her. She is just an innocent bystander to the car wreck that is my situation and life.

"George, give the man a break. He's not fully recovered. I still have a session or two left with him and then he can be all yours."

We look over to see Jacob sitting up, looking rested.

"Uncle Jacob, you're feeling better? Good, can we fix Colonel Jack now? He has a job to do."

She looks at me and asks quietly if it is okay to call it a job instead of a kiss.

I close my eyes and groan. General Hammond would have to be deaf not to have heard her.

Jacob moves over to my bed and takes Karina's hand in his.

"Come on, Karina, lets give Uncle George and Colonel Jack some alone time. They need to get some things settled."

Karina looks at me and the General and shakes her head at Jacob.

"I'll go only if Uncle George promises not to hurt Colonel Jack. He needs someone to watch out for him till Major Sam wakes up and that's my job, so Uncle George, promise me you'll be nice to him or I can't let you talk to him."

Jacob coughs to hide his laughter, I bite my lip and look at a shell shocked General. I never thought I'd ever get to see him speechless.

"Well, do you promise to not upset him, please?"

He promises and she gets up, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek, whispering something that makes him laugh.

Jacob escorts my "protector' out of the infirmary.

He tries to hide the smile, while looking at the doors, as she walks out.

"You have a way with children, don't you, Jack? She hasn't left your side since you came out of surgery. I've been down here a couple of times when I've had the chance. It's hard to see my people hurt."

"Kids, like pets, have no sense of who's good or bad. I guess I just know how to talk to her on her level. If she was older she'd know what a mistake I am."

He sits down and comes closer. I wait for him to continue.

"I hate when you act like this, as if you are not worthy of our concern. You are a huge part of this program. Everyone looks up to your team for guidance and tries to emulate your camaraderie, your devotion to one another and your faith. But when you start acting out and start to hurt others, that's when I have to step in. Before you say anything let me get this out. You are my second in command here. I expect you to act better than most and I understand your feelings when one of your teammates gets injured. Jack, I give you lots of leeway. But, with you throwing a tantrum screaming at my CMO, a senior officer, and your other two teammates, then I have to intervene. This has already traveled all the way to Washington. The walls have ears and I've been on the phone with all the top brass defending my second in command. So Jack, what is this nonsense I hear, about you wanting to retire and be left alone? I see you've apologized to young Karina, but what about the others? That's what concerns me now. I should give you a reprimand, but I know there is always a reason for your actions. There always is and I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone."

He knows me so well.

I whisper that I have asked forgiveness from Jacob and doc, but that I haven't had a chance to talk to Daniel and Teal'c yet.

"Do you want to tell me what happened on the planet? Or do you want to wait till you feel better, Jack? I've heard Daniel's version, Teal'c's and what Doctor Fraiser reported, but I want to hear your report, since I don't know how long Major Carter will be unconscious."

I look over to Sam. Lying there in bed, my throat constricts and I close my eyes. Will you ever wake up, my princess?

I turn back to General Hammond.

"This is going to take a while, Sir."

"I've got all evening for you, son."

I start from the beginning. I don't leave any detail out. Before I get to the important stuff, I ask if I can speak off the record. He nods.

I tell him of my feeling helpless, as I saw Sam's life slip through my fingers. The anger I felt when she was just discarded like yesterday's trash. I speak of my responsibility for Daniel's injuries, but he interrupts, telling me that Daniel said he deserved it for what he had said. I shake my head and say I was responsible and that Daniel was right. I should have said something to her sooner.

"What did he say, son? What made you attack Dr. Jackson?"

I look at my hands and wonder how many lives I have taken and how close I had come to really hurting Daniel. My blind rage in the face of the truth could have cost him his life back there.

I speak softly and tell him what Daniel had said. I look up to see what his reaction is. But he is still there, just listening, no emotion showing on his face.

I tell him of our pact to destroy Ba'al and my plans to stay on the ship.

He stares at me and it is finally dawning on him. He look at Sam and back to me.

"Sir, I know its wrong to say this to you but I can't help it. I fell in love with my second in command and when I saw her die before my eyes, I died. I felt the blood drain from me as I saw her gasping for breath. It was a fate worse than any punishment I could ever be forced to endure. I know you're disappointed, but I don't care anymore. I promised to get her home in one piece and I almost lost her again. I can't fight these feelings anymore. I've never done anything inappropriate before, neither has Carter. We knew where the line was, but these last days the line has gotten fuzzy and well, that's the reason I want to retire. Somebody gave me a second chance and I'm not going to screw it up again, if she'll have me. I appreciate you taking the heat for me, General, but I can't go back to the way things were. Jacob knows my intentions and has giving me his blessing and I'm asking you also for your wisdom on how to go about this. I don't want Sam's career harmed in any way. I'll be the fall guy."

Everything is out in the open. Doc has walked in and I know she has heard most of what I've said. She smiles at me as she checks on Sam then she stops and asks how I'm feeling. I tell her I'm fine. She walks back to her office and I turn to finish my conversation with the General.

"I've given my life for this program, as has Carter. I'm through risking my life and I hope she is too. Sir, you've got to understand that I don't want to ever feel like I will lose her again and every time we walk through that gate, it's a crap shoot. We've been lucky, but I think our luck has run out. So with all due respect, Sir, I would like to formally put forward my intention to retire."

He stares at me and stands up.

"Well, Jack, I don't know what to say, but one thing is for sure. You are not retiring. I can't accept it and neither will the president. You are too valuable to the program. Neither will Major Carter be allowed to retire. Her contribution to the program is vital to the survival of the planet."

I feel my heart sink. They aren't going to allow us to be together.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I don't think I can agree to that. I never intended to fall in love, but I have and I can't say that I'm sorry. I've been given a second chance. I wont let it slip thru my fingers again. Reassign me if that's the only step. But know this, George, I am going to ask Carter to my cabin and we will have the discussion that we've been avoiding for too long the one about us. Things have changed. I can't bottle up my feelings any longer I need to get them out in the open. Don't you think we deserve to be happy?"

Jacob clears his throat and we both turn to see that Daniel and Teal'c are with him.

"You're right, son. You do deserve to be happy and I will see what I can do. I just wanted you to talk to me before you do anything hasty."

He takes my hand.

"Get better, son, I hear you've got a mission to complete."

I look at him surprise and he motions to Carter.

"The little lady expects you to wake Major Carter up and if I recall, it involves a kiss."

There are only a couple of times I have ever blushed and this is one of them. I turn crimson red and try to speak, but he raises his hand to stop me.

Jacob moves forward and saves me.

"Jack, lets get you better, like George says you have a mission to accomplish."

"Yes, Sir, but first I need to talk to my team alone, if you don't mind."

The General's leave Daniel and Teal'c move forward.

I don't know what to say. I was wrong for venting my anger at them and I need to make amends.

"Guys, I want to apologize for acting like a jerk."

"Stop it, Jack. We told you before, we understand it was done in fear more than anger, you don't need to apologize and Karina told me you had asked for forgiveness. That was my main concern. We know you, she doesn't and when I came in and saw you two asleep, I knew you had straightened everything out."

Daniel squeezes my shoulder and I am in awe of the man. His compassion and his level of forgiveness is never ending.

"I, too, understand your anger, O'Neill. Yet, as I have stated before, we are brothers. We may fight and try to break our ties, but we are bound together through thick and thin. We stand together. You have found your path and I believe this path will be beneficial to both you and Major Carter. I am overjoyed that you two have finally seen the love you each have for one another and the depths of this love. I have seen this love grow and I am happy to see it come to fruition."

My Jaffa brother. He always speaks the truth and could probably give me some pointers in the love department. I look over to Sam and nod.

"Now that everyone knows my intentions, I just have to let her know. Guys, I hope she wakes. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't. I feel hollow without her close by. I miss her smile. The twinkle in her eye and the never ending technobabble that comes out of those soft, full, luscious lips."

"Hey, that's way too much information, Jack! But I understand. She does have full lips".

I playfully swat him and he chuckles. Karina comes running through the door and climbs up onto the bed.

"Daniel, is it true? Poppa says we have a new home and we will be leaving soon. Colonel Jack, you haven't woken Major Sam yet and I told him I won't leave till she wakes! So come on, Colonel Jack, come on, get up and kiss her!"

I look at Daniel for help and he grimaces. It will take more than a kiss to wake up our princess.

"Karina, Jack is still recovering and Sam needs to heal a little bit more before a kiss will help. Lets go talk to your dad and find out how much time you'll have here."

"I won't leave. She has to wake up. Colonel Jack needs her. I'm only here to fill in till she wakes up."

Karina is upset. My tiny, self-appointed protector will not leave until her job is done. I pull her into a hug.

"Hey, you've done a great job and you're right, its my turn now. I've just got to get a little better, but Karina, you've got to understand, this might take more than a kiss. She's been hurt badly and as much as we want her to wake up, it will be hard."

She pulls away and picks up my chin.

"Have you've given up on her, Colonel Jack? She needs to wake up. You won't be happy till she does and I don't ever want to see you sad or upset again."

I take her hand and kiss it.

"No, I'll never give up. You're right, Karina, I won't be happy till she's better, but I"ll promise not to get upset anymore. My friends won't let me."

She smiles and kisses my cheek.

"I'll be right back. Come on, Daniel, lets go talk to my poppa."

Daniel smiles and takes her hand. Doc comes back and says they'll be moving Sam. I try to hide the panic from my face, until she explains that it is to give us more privacy.

Jacob comes back and asks Teal'c to bring him the healing device.

"So, Jack, another session and I think you'll be good as new. Then you can start on your mission."

"Yeah, Jacob, I've got my work cut out for me. Jake, what if they don't let us be together? What if all of this is for nothing? I can't go back to the way things where, I won't."

"Hey, let me worry about George. He's on your side, you know. Really, he's seen the tension between you two and he asked me what I thought. I won't lie to you, he was a little worried about what the president might say, but Selmac talked to him and said the Tok'ra would rethink their position with Earth if things did not change. Oh, and don't forget you do have a buddy that would move planets for you. He's a great bargaining chip as well. You're not going to get away that easily, not from finally making my daughter a happy woman."

I look at Jacob and see he is serious.

"That's all I want, Jacob, to make her happy, to settle down and hey, you never know, maybe give you some more grandkids."

"Hey, one thing at a time, O'Neill! I was just getting use to you kissing my daughter and then you have to spoil it with this…"

I chuckle and he says it isn't funny.

Teal'c comes to save me from his response and Jacob quiets, starting the next treatment.

I feel myself getting stronger. Jacob staggers a bit and T catches him.

"It's done. If you rest, you should be up and about soon. I'm going to rest as well. I need to contact the council and see what the death of Ba'al has caused amongst the system lords."

I nod and close my eyes.

I awaken again with a start. The nightmares have returned, but at least I can feel I am better. I open my eyes to check on Sam, but see that she is gone.

I panic.

Teal'c is there and grabs me before I fall on my face.

"O'Neill, they transferred her to a more private room. She is safe. I will inform Dr. Fraiser that you are awake. How are you feeling, my friend?"

I let out the breath I am holding.

"I forgot, Doc did tell me. I'm feeling better. Go, call her, so I can be sprung from this bed. I have a mission to accomplish."

Doc comes over and checks me out. She gives me the okay to leave and tells me that Sam is in iso room 1.

"Daniel and Karina are there to make sure she is not alone. She is one bossy little lady, I tell you. Kinda reminds me of me."

I snort, "That's an understatement."

"I still have needles that you've never seen, Colonel. Keep this up and I'll be more then happy to introduce them to you. Now go, shower up. I"ll see you later."

T helps me because I still feel a little stiff. Jacob has woken before me and has been summoned back to the council. He has already assured T that he will be back.

I change quickly, anxious to see my Sam.

I walk into the room and I'm taken aback. She is still hooked up to the machines and Karina is positioned to one side of her bed, while Daniel sits on the other. Karina is telling her the story she had recounted to me.

Daniel looks up and smiles.

"Sam, there's someone here that's been anxious to talk to you. Me and Karina are leaving, but we will be back. Come back to us, Sam, we miss you."

Karina turns around and claps.

"Major Sam, it's almost time for you to wake up and when you do I'll tell you how the story ends. Me and Daniel will be back, I promise."

She moves forward and kisses Sam's cheek, before crawling off the bed and running to me.

I pick her up and she hugs my neck.

"You're up, so soon Major Sam will be as well and then we can all live happily ever after. Go to her, Colonel Jack, tell her you miss her. Tell her what's in your heart."

I hug her back and put her down, with the promise that I will.

They leave and I am finally alone with my angel.

I pull up a chair and sit.

I take her hand and kiss it, intertwining her fingers with mine.

I think to myself. How am I ever gonna reach her? But then Karina's words ring in my head.

Tell her what's in your heart.

I take a deep breath and look inside myself for the words that will bring my princess back to me, for the ending of our story.

True love will conquer this. I have faith that it will.

We will have our happily ever after and be together for eternity. Two souls finally found, two hearts beating as one.

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Part 22

The machines are the only sound in the room.

Her hand is cold. So I decide to rub it, to warm it up. I caress it with care and tuck the blanket around her.

I watch and feel helpless. She needs me to be strong and I will be. I will be her rock, her light at the end of the dark tunnel, beckoning her to come back to me.

I look around the room and know I am alone. My family has given me this time with her. They won't interrupt. They'll wait until I am ready to face them again. They know how hard this is for me, but I will not falter. I am going to do as Karina had said.

I will open my heart to my true love.

True love.

That's what we have. I never felt like this with any of the other people in my life. I loved Sarah. That was a mutual love. I loved Charlie. That was an unconditional love. For all my faults he had still loved me, no matter what. But deep down I know Sam's love is both mutual and unconditional, a combination of both. She loves me for me. She loves the beast within and knows how to soothe me when needed. She sees beyond the cranky facade that I weave, my barrier from the world. She knows it is all an act and still she does not judge me. True love never finds fault, it is just there, a bond that cannot be broken. A love that will last 'til the end of time, a love that is pure.

"Oh, if I could just put into words what I'm thinking, Carter, I'd be a rich man."

I squeeze her hand.

"I know you're in there, hiding. But you don't have to anymore, I'm here. I'm alive, Sam, I didn't die. I couldn't. I would never get to feel the warmth of your body next to mine. I would have never gotten to experience our first kiss. I would never have found out where that elusive mole is."

I chuckle.

"Yeah, I've been doing a lot of thinking. Don't laugh, I have. A lot of thinking, years of thinking really. Put it this way, I've thought so much about what I would say when I finally got to tell you what I feel, that I've gone blank now. I do know this, my angel, I've had feelings for you since our first mission. The way you came through that door like hell on heels blew me away. I baited you and still you would not buckle. I admired you and kinda told you so. Remember what I told you before you walked through the stargate for the first time? You where so young and innocent then, both you and Danny, so full of enthusiasm, that it was contagious. I try to pinpoint the day I fell in love with you and I think it was the first time you smiled just for me. I was hooked. My cold heart started to feel again. I actually wanted to make you smile and after a while, it became my duty to see that smile at least twice a day. It made me start to care. I started to hope for better things in my life. This was all due to you."

I look up to see if she is responding.

Her chest moves up and down, the ventilator helping her breathe.

"This is ironic, isn't it? The man with a few words is pouring out his heart and soul to the woman that babbles constantly and is never at a loss for words. Come on Sam, you've got to agree, that is funny, huh?"

No response.

"You're not going to make this easy, are you? You're gonna make me confess everything to you. To confess to you things that I have hidden deep inside me, that I've repressed for so long. My past sins and my present ones, things that I never thought I could tell anyone."

I let out a slow breath and continue to caress her hand.

"To be honest with you, I'm afraid of what you will really think of me once you hear what I have to say. I know you're a forgiving person, Sam, but I don't know if you would be able to forgive me, or even look at me the same way, once I burden you with my guilt, my sorrow, my regrets, my black soul. But I know I have to. I don't think I can move forward if I keep anything from you. I want to be a better man. I want to be the best man I can be. For you. Sam, you make me want to be a better person, inside an out. I know I can be, if I am given the chance and you have done that for me."

I bite my lip as it starts to quiver. The voice in my head is whispering and planting doubts into my mind.

What if she doesn't wake up?

What if she does and is repulsed by my confession?

I feel lost.

I get closer to the bed and lay my head by hers.

"Please, Sam, come back to me. I want to see you open your eyes. I want to feel you squeeze my hand, caress my face. I want to hear you speak to me. Tell me if I'm wasting my time, tell me how wormholes work again, tell me that you feel the same way I feel about you, tell me that you love me…"

I pull back, cover my face with my hands and drop my head. This is harder than I'd thought it would be. Before this mission I hid my feelings deep inside, not saying anything, just watching from a distance, but now everything has changed. I have set the ball in motion. I will not back down.

I hear someone clearing their throat behind me.

I turn to see Doc Frasier and General Hammond.

I smile at them, but it is a half hearted attempt.

They move forward.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but I have to check her stats. I'll only be a minute and then I'll be out of your hair for an hour or so. How is our patient doing?"

"She's in there, but she's gonna be really upset with you, Doc. I think you took off a little too much from the top and the sides."

Doc looks shocked and tries to stop the giggles that are bubbling up inside of her.

"Sam, wake up and tell Doc what I think of giggling".

Doctor Janet Frazier lets loose with her laughter and even the General is chuckling.

Doc wipes the tears from her face, comes to my side and hugs me.

"Thank you, Sir! I haven't had anything to laugh about lately, and they say that laughter is good for the soul."

"So I've heard. It's nice to hear laughter again."

She turns to Sam.

"Come on, sweetie, wake up and make this man's day, no year, ah strike that, his life. Remember those things we talked about over all those bottles of wine and tubs of ice cream? It's within your grasp, Sam. Wake up and find your peace."

She looks at me. "Find peace for both of you."

She squeezes Sam's hand and whispers that she'll be back soon, with something for me to eat. I thank her. General Hammond places his hand on my shoulder.

"Jack, I spoke to the president and so did Jacob. They are willing to work something out."

My heart is still. Maybe I am gonna finally get what I want more than anything.

"Thank you, Sir, from both of us. I know it wasn't easy. But, like I said, I can't go back to the way things were, I'm getting to old for this stuff and I won't fumble the ball again."

"I know, Jack. You're right, you deserve to be happy and you've never crossed the line, of this I am sure. You wouldn't bring any disgrace to the Major. You are a lucky man, Jack."

"Yes, Sir, and I will never forget that. I've been given a second chance. I've found hope again. She's my strength. She keeps me here, guides me as I try to better myself. She is the light in my soul. She's climbed every barrier I've put up and she refused to back off, which I am so grateful for. There has been too much tragedy in our lives and I want our happily ever after, like Karina said. I don't think its too much to ask for."

The General smiles and agrees.

"I've got to get back, but I'll leave you with this. Major Carter is no longer in your Chain of Command. She is on medical leave, which places me in charge of her, so if that's what's keeping you from completing your mission, soldier, forget about it. You have a green light."

I smile and thank him again. He leaves us alone.

"Did you hear that? I can have my merry way with you and I won't be thrown in the brig, or damage your stellar reputation."

I chuckle, wanting to pinch myself, wondering if this isn't just another dream, that I will wake and find myself alone again.

I become somber.

"I need you Sam. You're my strength, you keep me going. You're the tether that keeps me anchored to this world. I want us to share the rest of our lives together. I want to grow older with you. I want to plan a future and hopefully children. Come back to me Sam. Never surrender to the voice that is calling you away from me. I am here, watching over you. I'll wait forever, I'll never leave you. I will protect you. I would give my own life, just to see you smile for me again. Open your mind, Sam, hear me, please. I'll get down on my knees, I'll pray to god and ask him not to take you away from me. Fight, angel, I can't lose you. We're finally free to explore our feelings and I am not strong when you are not here."

The tears I've held for all those years start to fall. The pain of hiding my feelings follow. I feel so alone. I grasp her hand like a lifeline and my tears wet her hand.

I don't hear the footsteps behind me. I soft hand touches my back.

"Shhh, don't cry, Colonel Jack, she hears you, I know she does. You're just opening your heart to her and I can see it is hard for you. You are good, never forget that."

I pull her into my arms and she squeezes me. Her warmth is like a balm to my tattered soul.

I look up to see Daniel andDoc wiping the tears from their faces.

I am vulnerable right now. I never let my defenses down and in a day I have shown more emotion to others than I have in a lifetime. All thanks to this child in my arms.

"I think she's heard enough, Colonel Jack. Why don't you kiss her?"

This is it, the moment of truth.

I hope, even though I know that this would probably only end well if we were in a fairytale. I know Sam won't wake, but I'll try my best to wake my princess up.

I let go of Karina.

I stand up and look down at Sam.

I'm so nervous.

Our first kiss and she's asleep.

Well, technically our third kiss.

There was virus kiss that nearly brought me to my knees and the kiss that I gave her after handing in my resignation to the General during that whole time loop fiasco. But they really don't count.

"Okay, how hard can this be?"

"Jack, do you want us to leave? Karina, come on, let's leave Jack alone."

"No, you guys can stay."

"How about us?"

I turn to see dad, Teal'c and the General. Oh great, I don't think I can do it in front of them!

"Hey, dad, you're back. So, how are things?"

Hey knows I'm buying time, but lets it go.

"I found out some interesting things, but maybe we'll talk about this later."

Things? What things?

He sees my expression change.

"Jacob? I take it that it's not good news."

"Jack, later, I want to see my daughter."

I nod and step back.

"You don't have to leave, Jack, I see you haven't completed your mission."

"No, Uncle Jacob, he hasn't. I don't see why he doesn't just…"

Jacob sits by the bed.

"Give him time, he'll do it when it feels right. Sweetheart, I heard you've got a new home and your village will be leaving soon."

"Not until Major Sam wakes up. He needs me until then."

She's pointing at me. I smile at her.

"Yes, I do need you here with me. You're my protector."

"So go ahead and kiss her then, it's not that hard."

This is it, there's no turning back.

She comes to me and starts to pull me to the bed.

She climbs up and keeps pulling me towards my princess.

"If your heart is true, Colonel Jack, she'll wake."

I whisper, "What if she doesn't? What if she never wakes? What if my heart isn't true?"

"Your heart is true, Colonel Jack, don't be silly. She will wake. You're here, waiting for her. Major Sam knows. I know she does, she would never leave you alone. Back in the ship she didn't want to leave us, but we knew she'd be back, she would not leave us. She will wake, I have hope."

She puts my hand in Sam's.

"Do it, Colonel Jack, wake your princess."


	23. Chapter 23

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay everyone my beta had a major RL crisis and my computer diskdid not want to give me my orignal back so had to wait for her to send it to me. Here's the last part of the series. Hope you all enjoy might do an epilogue will see what everyone thinks.

Might even inspire me to write a sequel...

Enjoy!

* * *

Unbroken Nightmares Cease In Reality 

Pt 23

How can I just stand here and not be moved by her words.

She is wise beyond her years, way smarter than me.

Her simple words could teach grown men how to run countries and rule worlds. Her simple logic makes sense. I think to myself that for one so small, she has a knowledge of the world that is far beyond my own.

I look around the room and see our family there, waiting.

Daniel, my friend, my savior. If he had not pulled me from the self appointed cell in my head I would have died long ago. He had come to me at a crossroad in my life and showed me the right path, for which I am grateful. Without him, I would never have gotten to meet the woman that would change my life.

Teal'c, my brother the warrior, wise and faithful. I could always count on him to watch out for our family. He had sacrificed everything he knew and followed me on my words that I could save those people, so long ago. He saw something in me. What, I would never know.

Janet, 5 feet of spit and fire the only person other than Sam that understood me and accepted me. She was there for the nightmares and would do everything in her power to pull us from death's door. Her love and compassion ran deep and I would forever be grateful that she cared enough to save my sorry ass time and time again.

Jacob, the man I admired for all that he had done. He had the faith to ask me long ago to watch out for his daughter, knowing I would do everything in my power to make sure she was safe. I would die before I would let any harm come to her. My angel's father had accepted me and said I was worthy of his daughters love.

George, General Hammond, my CO, my friend. He had put up with all of my insubordinate behavior, knowing deep down it was all an act. An act that he knew too well, he had given me so much leeway but always stood behind me when things got tough. I could count on him to get me out of any trouble. I would lay my life down for him because I knew he would do the same. My surrogate father always in my eyes and hopefully he felt that I was the son he never had.

Karina, my tiny protector. She saw something in me and would not let go. She had a pure spirit and believed in fairy tales. Her smile could light up the sky and her tears could crush any man's heart. She reminded me of Sam, smart, kind hearted and full of hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a happy ending.

My family, no our family, here for what I hope is the first step to our future.

They wait, but will not rush me, knowing I will not fail at this mission.

I smile and comment, "This isn't exactly how I pictured our first kiss. But, I am happy you'll all be here to witness this. It's been a long time coming."

They are all smiling.

I am nervous, as terrified as my first time. I remember that kiss behind the bleachers in the schoolyard. Mary Jean Myers, the pitcher of our baseball team. I thought I was in love, but she left me for the first baseman and my heart took its first beating, with many more breaks to come.

I snap out of my memory and lick my lips.

I focus on her. Her eyes are closed, the bruising starting to fade, but as always she takes my breath away.

I have to be careful. She has a slight cut on her lower lip and don't want to hurt her.

But she still looks beautiful to me. Beauty is more than features, it is what's inside the person that makes them beautiful and my Sam is beautiful inside and out.

No wonder every alien fell in love with her when they met her. I chuckle. I bet even Thor has the hots for my angel.

"Jack, what's so funny?"

I turn to Daniel with a smile.

"I'll tell you later, Danny boy."

I whisper so that she is the only one that can hear.

"Sam, I'm going to kiss you now. This is our first true kiss, no alien viruses, no time loops…

Oh, I'll explain later about that, but know this kiss is from my heart. Please wake up, princess, so we can live happily ever after."

I move closer, shut my eyes and think of all the things we have been through. It is like a walk down memory lane, good and bad flashing before me.

Her walking through the door of the briefing room, challenging me to arm wrestle and the comment about reproductive organs got my attention and I knew she was different. The awestruck look as she stood at the top of the ramp before stepping through the gate for the first time. My first time hearing her technobabble took my breath away. Her ability to prove she could take care of herself against Turghan. Our first kiss initiated by her during the touched virus, her anguish when we found out we had left Daniel behind and me comforting her in my arms. Her loving way with Cassandra and her devotion to her that showed me the compassion that was inside of her. The time we almost died together in the Antarctica, her not leaving my side after she found out there was no were to go. I remember whispering Sara's name but it was Sam I was thinking of. Hearing her say my name and not colonel would forever be a memory in my heart and mind. Her warmth on top of me assuring me it was okay to sleep and I did knowing she did not leave me behind that she cared enough to come back. Her loyalty and not questioning what had to be done to save the earth from Apohis's invasion. Us blowing up the motherships and floating back to Earth on the disabled gliders. Her description of Earth as it passed above us. She said it was beautiful I looked at her and agreed never letting her know I was talking about her.

When she was taken over by Jolinar the pain my heart experienced thinking I had lost another of my close friends to a gou'ald. She survived but not without a price. The nightmares of not being in controlled kept her up weeks. Being there to wake her and tell her she was safe had been my job. I made sure I was always nearby when these images came to haunt her. She knew she could count on me and thanked me for being there for her.

The time I thought she was dead when we were being held by Hathor. I had felt alone thinking my team was dead that I alone had survived and then finding her alive hooked up to the same machine I had been in. Her coming back for me when I thought I was to become a jaffa warrior for that bitch. Watching her hurt Sam and try and take her life and finally killing her for trying to kill Sam. Feeling her in my arms afterwards was heaven. The warmth I felt, the peace I never wanted to let her go.

Having the Sam from the alternative universe come and tell me we were married blew me away. My pipe dream had become a reality in another world. I tried to separate my feelings but I couldn't I knew I hurt her when I kissed the other Samantha, but it felt it would be the only time I would ever get to experience this. I knew better after I came back and saw the hurt in her eyes and I had the seed of hope was planted.

My time on Endora with Lara, I thought I had been left behind that she would not wait that they would have all moved on, little did I know she had worked herself to the bone to get me home. Daniel letting it slipped one night after 2 beers, another time I had hurt her. I vowed never to lose fate in her if there was a way she would rescue me. The time I had yelled that I had not been acting like myself since I meet her was closer to the truth then I would admit at the time. My life had been turned upside down by a beautiful blond and here I was yelling at her to make her hate me. It had taken time to mend that fence but after a piece of chocolate cake and a private apology she gave in to my relief.

Our time as superhero's and going into destroy Apohis ship, when she was on the other side of the force field and we both heard the Jaffa coming my heart grew cold. I was to witness another of the people I held close to my heart killed before me. Struggling to open the panel to try and free her. Sam pleading me to go and me finally snapping yelling I would not go. Looking at those eyes that lay bare to me her love, I stopped as did my heart. I wanted to hold her and tell her I loved her and that now that I had found my true love she was going to be taken away. I whispered I love her and she smiled. Having to confess what we truly felt for one another with witnesses to boot. I knew it was a dangerous game we were playing and I would never do anything to tarnish her reputation. I stepped back retreated but not to far back getting stuck in the loop turned out to be a godsend I got to kiss her time and time again. That memory always put a smile on my face since each time she was a willing participant.

Our time beneath the ice when we were allowed to follow our feelings I know she remembers those moments. Holding on to each other when the others weren't looking the talks we had when we didn't know we weren't allowed to feel what we did. We grew more apart then, I stepped back. My heart ached knowing I had her but could not continue to have these feelings for her that it was wrong and I was being selfish. She saved me again after my trip with Teal'c to space. She had gotten dad to come and save us. I thought I was dreaming when I heard my angels voice asking me to wake up and her yelling that she didn't come all this way to bring me home in a box. She was my beacon that guided me back to the living. She had ensured that I would be around for another day.

What I thought was the second worse day of my life. The day I had killed my angel the day I thought I had sealed my fate. I had to kill her to ensure that entity would not escape. I wanted it dead for taking her from me I wanted it to suffer. I was going to plead with the General to send thousands of probes to take our revenge for it taking my Sam away from me. I had done it with my own two hands extinguished the love of my life only to have her returned to me. The killer inside of me cried knowing I still had a chance at everything I ever wanted but was more determined to stay away. How could she ever forgive me? This action of stepping back almost got her killed, being kidnapped and gone for 48 hours before anyone had known weighed on me. If I had just called her she would not have had to battle the nightmares of being taken, my angel had been through enough and she was there for me after the bullet was removed she did not move from my side till I woke and she assured me I was safe.

Having her voice be my anchor as I flew the stargate into space and hoping I would get a chance to tell her she keep me sane up their alone. After ejecting from the X-302 I closed my eyes and imagined her sitting on the other end wondering if I would survive. I asked to speak to her the minute I was retrieved to hear her voice and imagined the million dollar smile she always saved for me.

Watching her fight to live after Nitri scrambled her DNA. Her head on my shoulder trying to rest but I knew deep down she was afraid but would not say anything, thinking I would not understand, if she only knew I was scared out of my mind trying to find a solution to this and finally getting her back in one piece. The urge to pull her to me, hug her and never let go and to finally tell her what I had held back for so long.

My month away with Harry, I didn't give up hope I knew she'd find a way for me to get home. The smile on her face after we were brought back to earth spoke volumes it said she still cared and that was all I needed to know.

My lips touched hers. They were cold and I was hesitant and pressed down on them.

I didn't pull back I could feel the breath she was exhaling. I tried pressed down again this time giving her a more fuller kiss when all chaos broke loose.

The machines started to buzz whine as the alarms started to sound off. She started to convulse.

I stumbled back as doc came running forward.

"No Sam please not now. Daniel get me some help now Teal'c come help me hold her down she 's having some type of seizure".

Jacob rushed by me to see if he could help his daughter. Karina was crying and the General held her in his arms.

It was my fault I caused her this and no one could say no that I wasn't at fault. My luck could not last I had finally sent my angel to heaven.

I turned and ran. I needed to get away. I could not be witness to her final moments on earth. I was not worthy of this.

I kept my head down not wanting to see anyone I went to the only place I could be alone were I would not be found. If I was not told she was dead then she would still be alive in my mind.

I went into her lab and hid. Sitting on the floor and biting my lip to keep me from crying out. I covered my face with my hands and berated myself for actually thinking I could wake her up with a kiss.

The only thing I had ever known was death and destruction, good things happened to me sporadically but they were always taken away.

I was one of those people that would always be looking through the window of happiness with my nose pressed against it and wishing it was me that was on the other side.

I held myself feeling a chill run up my spine. I was destined to be alone.

They would come looking for me to tell me the news. News that I knew was inevitable. I heard my name being called through the halls I made sure the door was locked I did not want to be found.

I adjusted to the dark and started to walk around her lab.

I felt close to her here. I picked up the doohickey she had been working on before we left. Before her death and rising from the dead only to be taken from me again.

I pulled open a drawer that held her secret stash of chocolate. I smiled she had told me that Daniel had found out where she had hid her chocolate so she had to move it to another place or she would never get a chance to eat it.

I moved the bag of M & M's and found a white envelope. I picked it up and turned it over. It had my name on it and it was opened.

There was a letter and pictures of me with the guys and me with my Sam.

I remember the picture it was the same one I had found in her vest. The smile that could stop my heart, the sparkle in her eyes that held so much joy I stared and wished for this time again.

I put down the envelope. Why had she written me a letter?

I was hesitant but finally pulled it out of the envelope

It started with the line, M_y Dearest Jack._

I stopped reading I couldn't do this not here. If this was a letter for me to read after she was gone then I couldn't do this here. I needed to breath I needed some air but I would not be let out of this mountain until one of them had delivered the news.

I put the letter in my pocket with the pictures and headed for the door.

I needed to cause a diversion and knew exactly what to do.

I looked out the hall and it was quiet, I looked at my watch it was almost midnight and there would not be much personnel around.

I closed the door quietly and walked to the door that opened to the ladder that would take me out of the mountain.

I picked this door on purpose this door had the alarm on it and would alert everyone to this spot they would think it was me and would come here to try and stop me. I would then take care of the guard and leave.

I opened the door and the alarms went off. I slipped through the hall way and stepped onto the elevator. Just have to knock out the airman and get on to the next elevator.

The doors open and the airman looks up. He picks up the phone and I order him to put it down. He hesitates and I come over and grab it from his hand. He's stunned and I whisper I'm sorry before knocking him out.

I go and press the button for the next elevator and it is taking an eternity to get here. I look back over my shoulder and feel bad for what I did. But there was no other way they would not let me leave. I'd take one of the fleet vehicles and go off to be alone. I don't hear the elevator opening behind me or the footsteps. The doors open in front of me when I hear her voice.

"Stop! Where do you think you're going?"

I drop my head and try to move forward. Two steps that's all and I would be gone.

"We've been looking for you. You can't leave, please Colonel Jack come back I promise it will all be alright."

I tried swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat.

Karina.

I turned around to see her behind me and T trying to revive the airman.

I turned back around. I hated to disappoint her but this fairy tale would not have a happy ending.

I moved forward one step all I needed to do was move one more and I'd be safe.

I move forward to get into the elevator and her tiny hand clasps onto mine and pulls me back.

"Don't go, you can't I wont let you. Please don't run away Colonel Jack."

I move forward but she wont let go.

"If you wont stay then I'm coming with you."

I turned and yelled, "Karina you can't go with me stay here go back to your parents leave me alone. You don't understand! If I start caring more about you something bad will happen. It always does. I will always be alone. I'm not allowed to care. I am destined for this type of life and everyone I care for either gets hurt or dies. So go leave me alone I don't want your help."

Teal'c moves forward and Karina turns and nods her head.

"He doesn't mean it Teal'c, he's just mad."

I look up at Teal'c and he is not happy with me. Disappointment crosses his face but I don't care anymore.

"He left before he saw what he did."

My heart grew cold. I tried to suppress the sob that escaped me. I moved forward onto the elevator. She was going to tell me my angel had gone. I let go of her hand I needed to get away now.

I moved inside the elevator and the doors almost closed when Karina spoke again.

"He doesn't know she woke up and is looking for her prince."

Her words echoed in my mind.

She woke up.

My hand flew forward to stop the doors from closing. She was still standing there waiting.

I fell to the floor and asked her to repeat what she had just said.

She cupped my face with her tiny hands.

"You did it, she woke up but when she didn't see you she thought it was a dream. She thought Dr. Janet was lying to her that you were not dead. She cried for you. I tried to explain that you kissed her to wake her up like the story but she wouldn't listen. She asked if that was true were where you. You see Colonel Jack she needs you she doesn't believe us so please come back. She needs you."

I was speechless.

My princess had woken and I wasn't there. She must have been terrified and would not believe anyone that I was alive.

I scooped Karina up into my arms and kissed her. She laughed.

I walked over to Teal'c and the airman.

"Do not concern yourself O'Neill I will tend to him. Go and reassure Major Carter that you are indeed alive. I will come soon."

I pressed the button for the elevator and stepped in. Karina had laid her head on my shoulder.

"Why did you run Colonel Jack? I told you she would wake up. Uncle Jacob, Daniel Uncle George me and Teal'c have been looking for you but you hid yourself really good. When the alarm went off they went to stop you but Teal'c went to the elevator and I followed him. He told me you would do something to divert our attention and he was right."

I whispered that I was sorry but I thought I had hurt Sam.

"You did by not being their when she woke up. She was so scared that you were gone that she was crying. Dr. Janet tried to give her something but she said no not until you were brought to her. She had a … I can't say it but it starts with an "s" Colonel Jack but Dr. Janet took care of her and she started to calm down. She called out your name and was looking for you."

If this was a dream I didn't want to wake up I would be with my angel in minutes. Karina was scolding me for running away. I just wanted the doors to hurry up and open.

When they did I ran out of them and to the room that held her.

Jacob and Daniel were outside and both were relieved that I had comeback.

I handed Karina over to Daniel and Jacob was a little mad.

"I should really kick your ass for this Jack. She thinks were lying to her and she's been crying and wont listen to any of us. I swear if you ever make her cry like this again I will kill you."

Jacob was not someone to mess with but he had every right to be upset.

I was about to speak when he nodded his head and pointed to the door.

"Go to her please make her see you are alive, that's what she needs. That's what you both need go and start your happily ever after."

Karina clapped her hands and pulled Jacob over for a kiss.

I looked at Daniel and he shrugged.

"Go Jack will wait here, Janet is with her now. You better pray she doesn't have any needles with her."

I opened the door and Janet looked up. She was at the end of her rope.

She was angry but when I heard Sam sob I lost it. My face crumbled and I started to step back.

Janet came forward grabbed my hand and pulled me to her bed.

She came close and whispered, '"make her happy sir or I swear I will bring back the biggest needle I have and make you pay for her unhappiness."

I looked at doc and nodded. I kissed her on the cheek and she whispered she'd be outside.

I moved forward and sat at the edge of her bed. I wanted to reach out for her but was afraid I would hurt her in some way.

Sam was clutching a pillow and was crying.

She must have felt the bed dipped because she started to speak.

"I swear Janet just tell me the truth, if he was alive he would be right here next to me when I woke up! We have this unspoken bond that we would never leave the other one alone when we wake and the only thing that would keep him from me would be death or he is unconscious. Stop playing games with me, tell me he's gone so I can try and mend my broken heart."

I choke up and my words come out hoarse.

"I'm sorry princess I thought I had lost you can you ever forgive me for leaving you. Can you forgive me for not being here when you woke up? I swear I will never let you wake up alone as long as I live."

She gasped and let go of the pillow and turned around.

The look of surprise and shock mirrored in her face, she closed her eyes and opened them thinking she was dreaming.

She opened her mouth and closed it again I reached out for her and she hesitated.

I stopped not wanting to frighten her.

She had tears streaming down her face the IV was still hooked up to her as was the machine that was taking her blood pressure. I wanted to make sure she was not in any danger.

She whispered, "is it really you? Or am I just having a dream."

I got up gathered her into my arms carefully and whispered it's me.

She pulled back.

"I thought you had left me I thought you were dead."

I held her as she cried. I felt her shake and I had tears streaming down my face. I was holding her I was here with my angel.

"You weren't here when I woke up? You're always here when I wake and only you being injured or dead would keep you away. I wasn't in the infirmary and you weren't in the same room so I thought you had left me."

I pulled back and she reached up and wiped the tears from my face. I grabbed her hand and held it to my cheek.

"I thought I had hurt you, that you were being taken away from you. So I ran I couldn't deal with you leaving me. Please Sam never leave me I don't think I can survive without you."

She kissed my forehead. It was a balm to my tattered mind and my wounded heart.

"I thought I had lost you when she shot you. You were leaving me on the ramp I thought my life was over when it was just about to start. I was thinking of all I wanted to say to you and your life was slipping through my fingers. Please Jack don't ever leave me again. My heart stopped when yours did. I broke down I didn't care who knew I loved you. Jack please just hold me and never let me go. Promise Jack when I'm out of here we will have our talk me, you and the fish at your cabin alone."

I smiled and nodded.

She smiled back and laid her head on my shoulder.

"I promise Sam as soon as they release you we'll do more then talk."

"No I'll talk you'll listen okay? Jack I heard you. I heard your voice and started to follow it away from this beautiful light. I was following it and the louder your voice got the more I wanted to wake up. I thought I was dreaming. Dreaming that you were talking to me and pouring out your heart. I heard your confession, I heard you make jokes and I felt you kiss me."

I wondered how much she had really heard. I was about to ask when she started to repeat everything I had said.

She intertwined our hands and asked me if I loved her.

She would not look at me. How could she sit there and think after everything we had been through that I was not utterly insanely in love with her. That my life had never been the same since I met her and that I was grateful, grateful that she cared to show me there was more to life.

How could she not see the sun rose and set on her in my eyes. That she was the perfect match for me. She loved the cranky side of me, the soft side, the sentimental side, hell she loved me. I could never hide anything from her.

"Sam, I love you more then you'll ever know. There are not enough hours in the day to express to you what I feel. You're my soul and with out you I am nothing."

She looked up and smiled.

"Even now that you have more hair then me, you still love me?"

I snorted and cupped her face.

'You are beautiful inside and out. This new look gives you that helpless imp look and I will be more then happy to defend my imp to the bitter end. If not I have this great cap that I wont be using you could have."

Her smile turned into a frown.

"What do you mean? Your lucky cap, Jack you didn't do anything stupid while I was napping?"

"That was napping? No sweetheart that was more then napping you scared me but this little angel you left behind guided me to you helped me see the light. She showed me that fairy tales do come true."

She looked at me and was puzzled till it dawn on her.

"Karina."

I nodded yes.

I told her how she had helped me find the words to bring her back about the story she had told me when I was at the end of my rope. The patience and hope she inspired in me to complete my mission to kiss my princess and bring her back us.

Sam wiped the tears from her face

"She's precious isn't she Jack. I heard this tiny voice and felt these tiny hands holding me. She was telling me the story wasn't she."

I told her what I had done when I had awoken to find her in a coma. She held me close and whispered it was not my fault. I told her about dad and our conversation. I told her what I had done regarding us.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this Jack. I don't think I would be strong enough to have done what you did. Wait you talked to dad and you're still alive?"

I laughed out loud and kissed her temple.

She started to giggle and it was music to my ears.

I kissed her she held me tightly I was lost.

We heard the doors open and throats being cleared and coughing. I moaned as did Sam and we looked up.

Karina had moved forward and had her back to us.

"Are you guys all sick? Oh no get out of the room right now. Uncle Jacob, Daniel Teal'c, Uncle George have Dr. Janet fix you. We don't want to get Colonel Jack and Major Sam sick they just woke up!"

The laughter started with Daniel and it continued till every single one of them where laughing.

"From the mouths of babes," Dad mused.

"We heard laughter and well we wanted to know if everything was alright."

I looked at Daniel and said everything was peachy.

"Major Carter it is indeed good to see you awake we were worried O'Neill would not complete his mission".

She snorted and Karina came to sit on our bed.

"He did it! I knew he would he was so scared Major Sam but I told him all he had to do was look inside his heart that it would all work out."

Sam pulled her between us and she put her arms around both our necks and kissed us.

"You're right Karina that's all he had to do with those words he brought me back and with his kiss he woke me up."

"Just like the story. So you'll live happily ever after right?"

Sam looked down and a blush started to creep up her neck.

Jacob moved forward.

"Yeah Jack are you gonna make my little girl happy, or is Selmac gonna have to get rough?"

Janet shook her head.

"No sir I don't think we'll need Selmac's help if he doesn't fulfill his mission I have a nice big needle that's been waiting to meet him. Just hadn't had the right opportunity."

They were serious I had to put a stop to this.

"Easy all of you, jeez we haven't even gotten out of the room let alone up to the cabin and no none of you can come along. Sorry dad."

Dad came forward and I moved out of the way taking Karina with me.

He hugged his daughter and she whispered that she was fine. She held my gaze over his shoulder Jacob whispered something and the tears started to flow.

Janet came next to me and I put my arm around her and said she deserved a raise. She giggled again and Karina joined her. Doc kissed Karina then me and went to hug her friend.

Daniel hugged Sam and didn't want to let go. Teal'c came forward and engulfed her in a bear hug. She kissed both of them and thanked them for keeping me in line while she was napping.

Karina whispered in my ear that Sam had been sleeping not napping because a napping princess didn't sound right.

I agreed with my protector and watched our family together again.

I kissed her nose, hugged and thanked her.

She asked me for what and I told her for everything.

She rolled her eyes and said that everything was always there for me that she had just helped me see it.

"Never forget Colonel Jack you are good here and in there."

She touched my forehead then my heart.

I closed my eyes and whispered, "I know that now. I deserve to be happy and so do you. You've done your job my guardian angel I think we'll be okay now."

She smiled.

A smile that reminded me of my Sam.

"So my mission is complete I can leave you in good hands. Right?"

"Yes ma'am".

We moved closer to our extended family. Sam patting the space next to her and Karina asked to be put down. I sat next to my angel and kissed her again.

Happiness at last.

You bet!


End file.
